Monkey’s Market Minute July 28th, 2026

The markets crashed today, especially in Asia. Why? Because the rumor is the FED is going to raise rates because of the failed wars and inflation. Even though the government needs lower rates to refinance the debt, and that rate hike is apparently going to happen this week out of nowhere. That’s why the insiders are dumping and leaving the normies holding the bag. This is why you leave the party early, especially when the market is manipulated, because the only people who aren’t going to lose money are the insiders controlling the manipulation. The South Korean stock exchange triggered its circuit breaker and halted trading entirely.

In the war, we have two developments. Netanyahu and Zelensky are both in DC meeting with Trump to coordinate a joint offensive against Iran. Also, Saudi Arabia launched a surveillance drone over Yemen, and the Houthis launched missiles at their oil processing facility. The Houthis don’t fuck around and have zero chill. Saudi Arabia didn’t even attack anyone, and the Houthis just blew up an entire processing facility with no warning.

So the bottom line is that we’re heading for the final battle it seems. The Regime is preparing to throw everything they have at Iran. The war with BRICS is over. China is the biggest winner here. They won without firing a shot. The worst they got was a few failed trade wars that China won each time. To borrow the line from Mortal Kombat, China has achieved a “flawless victory”, or as Sun Tzu would say “Supreme Excellence” which is to defeat the enemy without battle. What do Israel, the US, and Ukraine hope to do to Iran? Who knows? Apparently they’re going to attack the Pickaxe mountain, but I’ve learned that Pickaxe mountain isn’t just a solid granite mountain, but that the facilities underneath pickaxe mountain were designed to withstand a nuclear attack. They’re not going to accomplish jack fucking shit, even with nukes. Game Over.

Trump losing multiple wars at once might damage his ego so much that he may kill himself and save Israel the trouble.

Monkey’s Market Minute: July 27th, 2026

I’m seeing a lot of mixed messages on social media, even from reliable sources, so I don’t feel comfortable saying what’s happening because I don’t know.

Trump may be preparing a massive attack of Iran which may include Israel and Ukraine attacking Iran at the same time... or there may be a ceasefire where Iran and Yemen agreed to stop attacking and only respond to America’s attacks, so if America stops attacking, there is a de-facto ceasefire.

After US media revealed that the US is running out of missiles, the MAGAtards are claiming that it was a psyop and that it was all 4D to make Iran think they’re running out of missiles, but nothing came of it for some reason, and there didn’t seem to be a point to the psyop, but now “everyone agrees” that the fact that the media is saying that we’re out of missiles means we’re definitely NOT out of missiles.

Speaking of, due to the US being out of missiles, we had to send bombers into Iran to drop bomb on them from the air since we can no longer shoot missiles at them form a distance. Multiple refueling tankers were tracked in the skies above Jordan, Israel, Saudi Arabia, and throughout the Persian Gulf. Iran is reporting that they’ve destroyed over 40 aircraft so far during the renewed war (mostly reconnaissance drones), but it proves that Iran does have air defenses and sending in aircraft over Iranian airspace will lead to losses, which is why they’ve been using long range missiles up to this point.

Iran has reported that the US airbase in northern Iraq, in the Kurdistan region, has been completely destroyed. The only other airbase in the country is on the west side of Iraq. Most US military air assets have been moved to Israel.

The fuel tanks that the Houthis blew up apparently caused a huge fire and even though the Houthis said they would spare the refineries this time and only hit the tanks, the fire is spreading and likely to destroy the refineries anyway. Womp womp.

Finally, Trump is posting bizarre AI generated pictures of him standing next to JFK, which could be a message that he’s about to be assassinated for failing Israel. We’ll see, but you make a deal with the devil, the devil is going to collect.

The bottom line is that I don’t know what’s going on exactly, but oil is falling so I assume that the de-facto ceasefire is legit, or maybe not. Who knows? Let’s what Trump is going to pull with this “Final Wave” bullshit.

Monkey’s Market Minute: July 24th, 2026

I need to apologize for yesterday. I was misled about the energy infrastructure being hit in Iran. That was fake news, and there was no confirmation the next day (today). My source was reliable in the past, so I trusted it. I do my best, so I sometimes make mistakes.

So here’s what’s actually happening. Iran is only bombing US bases that are being used in attacks against them. They aren’t escalating, and they aren’t hitting all the US bases in the area. They’re only hitting the ones that are being used in attacks. They hit the same base over and over again if the US keeps retaliating, starting with the radars and missile launchers, then the airbases and aircraft, then hitting the personnel in their hotels and barracks once all the other assets have been destroyed.

The US can’t hit any of Iran’s military targets because they’re all protected by mountains, so they’re just attacking economic and civilian infrastructure. Iran has rejected another ceasefire proposal from Trump, and that’s where the war currently is as far as Iran is concerned.

If you turn to Yemen, the Bab Al-Mandab Strait is closed, and that’s arguably worse than the Strait of Hormuz because aside from the tankers trapped in the Strait of Hormuz, most oil shipments were being redirected through the Red Sea, but with that closed, oil would have to go through Europe and around Africa to get to Asia, which is a much bigger deal than what we’ve seen so far. Trump threatened Yemen, but what the fuck are they going to do? They don’t have shit. Also, Saudi Arabia was betrayed. They were promised to be able to develop nukes, but Trump lied (shocking I know, and is now demanding that Saudi Arabia recognize and formalize a relationship with Israel, or no deal. Saudi Arabia should cut a deal with the Houthis and get the Bab Al-Mandab Strait opened ASAP. They gain nothing by being Israel’s bitch. Saudi Arabia is getting hit with missiles as we speak until all the US assets are out.

Regarding Israel, Iran hasn’t attacked Israel because Israel hasn’t attacked them, nor have the Americans attacked Iran from Israel, but they ARE moving their assets to Israel. Iran is fine with this because it just proves to the Arabs how little their vassalage is worth to the Regime. Iran is back to “running out the clock” and responding to the Regime’s attacks. If the Arabs want to stop seeing Iranian missiles hit them, the only way to stop it is to get America to leave your country and stop using it to attack Iran.

Eventually, the Regime will have to decide whether to stand down or launch attacks from Israel after all their other bases have been abandoned. Honestly, since the Jews are all that matter, this might actually be the only scenario where the US takes the L and admits defeat because if they don’t it will cause Israel’s destruction. Israel is launching air interceptors to help defend their bases in Syria and Jordan, but they’re being picked apart one missile at a time.

In the markets, the bond market is cracking and this makes rate cuts impossible unless the government is willing to openly monetize the debt and cause hyperinflation, which is a possibility. Commodities are moving higher again, and that’s to be expected, but I’m not advocating playing the market because the paper market can be moved at the government’s whim. Silver did touch $56 before it began heading back up. So close and yet so far.

So the bottom line is that it’s the end of July and I’ve heard nothing regarding ending the SPR drain, so I assume it was quietly extended until it runs dry around September, so that’s fun. Iran has already won, but the Regime won’t admit it and concede, so we’re just watching everything break down in front of our eyes as the government manipulates the markets to fool normies into not panicking.

The Regime is likely to escalate and do something stupid soon because they don’t have a choice. If things continue on as they are, they lose. They have do something to shake things up. Normally, I would anticipate an ISIS attack or a false flag, but ISIS is being sent to Lebanon to fight Hezbollah because the IDF are getting rocked, so they’re too busy to get involved with Iran. I don’t think a false flag is on the table anymore, but who knows? If I were the Jews, I try to get Europe involved and really pull any strings I could to escalate this to WW3, but what is Europe going to do that America couldn’t? I don’t think they have any moves left, but maybe there have some crazy bullshit that I’m not aware of. We’ll find out soon.

Monkey’s Market Minute: July 17th, 2026

- I stayed up to see what Trump’s speech was about. It was about the stolen 2020 election. Did the FBI uncover the fraud and Democrats are going to get arrested? No. Did the method of how the election was stolen get uncovered so it won’t happen again? Also, no. What was the big reveal? Trump is blaming China for the stolen election. Remember when they were blaming Russia a few years ago? Now it’s China’s turn to be the boogie man. Does this mean Trump is trying to pivot away from Iran and start something with China? No, I doubt it. He’s just gearing up for the midterms and trying to get people talking about a different foreign government interfering with our government that isn’t Israel.

- In the Iran War, nothing is really happening. The US is spacing out it’s airstrikes because they don’t have that many missiles. They seem to be attacking Iranian bridges and infrastructure but are avoiding the energy and water infrastructure because Iran said they’ll do the same to the entire region if those are attacked, so there doesn’t seem to be a plan. They’re just going to bomb some bridges and buildings until they run out of missiles, and then what?

- I’m seeing some people sperging about Pakistan joining the war against Iran. Let me explain: Pakistan signed a mutual defense treaty with Saudi Arabia in order to protect Saudi Arabia from Israel, not knowing they were double agents working with Israel. The idea is that Saudi Arabia is going to start a war with Iran and Pakistan is bound to fight for Saudi Arabia due to their treaty, but the Pakistanis are not going to die for Israel, whom they thought they were defending Mecca from in the first place. Besides, look at how easily the US and Israel ignore their signed agreements and just do whatever the fuck they want. Also, even if Pakistan decided to fight for Israel against Iran for some reason, what are they going to do that the US and Israel haven’t tried already? It’s stupid, all of this is stupid. I feel bad for Pakistan getting played while trying to defend the Muslim world form Israel, and got tricked into joining them, but there is no reason to honor agreements with those who routinely break them themselves.

- So far, this war is going the same as the last war, but a bit slower. We already blew our load with “Epic Fury” so the pace of attacks is relatively slow, and even less effective than last time. I’ll be curious to see what all this shit about China stealing the 2020 election is ultimately about. If the Regime trying to pivot to China after losing to Iran? Is that truly the play?

- In the markets Asia is crashing due to the energy crisis and the lack of manipulation by Asian governments. Japan is screwed because it’s in too much debt but has to begin raising rates due to the inflation. China has slower growth, their GDP only growing 4.3% in Q2 2026 when the government was estimating 4.5-5%, but they’re not crashing economically. However, China is cracking down on paper gold and other investment derivatives to protect its economy from Jewish manipulation because they know all too well that it is the Regime’s primary weapon.

- So is anything happening? Not really. We’re watching things play out slowly as before, but instead of the SPR draining during a ceasefire, it’s draining during a war while Iran and America bomb each other. Will Saudi Arabia and Pakistan get dragged into this? Will the US start shit with China for some reason? Who knows? The Regime has no winning moves, but they can cause a lot of damage on their way down, which might be their only plan at this point.

Monkey’s Market Minute: July 14th, 2026

You’ll have to forgive me, but half the media is propaganda, and the other half is AI generated slop, so if I make a mistake and report fake news, I’m doing my best over here.

Firstly, oil is still under $80, which is impressive given the circumstances. Trump said that there will be a big public announcement on Thursday, and while the rumor is that the announcement has nothing to do with Iran, many are hoping that it’s a TACO and the damage in energy markets can be contained over the next few days.

A member of the Federal Reserve indicated that the FED may raise rates this year, which caused gold to fall, but should have caused stocks to crash, but didn’t because rising interest rates into a food and energy crisis is bullish for AI in Clown World on the corner of Fake and Gay.
Source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/trump-tehran-tensions-spike-oil-batter-bonds-bullion-semis-slammed-amid-ai-angst

I’ve seen reports on social media that Iran’s energy infrastructure has been attacked, and that Iran and the Houthis have begun destroying Saudi Arabia’s energy infrastructure, but I am not seeing it confirmed by the sources I consider reliable, so I’m calling it bullshit, at least partially. The Houthis did destroy an airport in Saudi Arabia because their representatives returning from the funeral I Iran were attacked.
Source: https://x.com/TomthunkitsMind/status/2076848155698556998

I’ve also seen reports that the US is using tactical nukes against Iran in an attempt to destroy their missile cities since the conventional bunker busters don’t do shit. While that makes sense, that would be a WW3-level escalation, and I’m not seeing any confirmation, so I’m calling this bullshit as well.

Trump has announced major ground operations later this week, so the ground invasion of Iran is going to happen, I guess. Every one of those dudes is going to die, but it’s whatever. Better they die over there as it means less of them to deal with when the civil war kicks off.

The US bases in Kuwait and Bahrain are destroyed again, and it’s only Monday. Let’s see what Tuesday brings.

Monkey’s Market Minute: July 13th, 2026

Iran has taken the gloves off and are hitting not only the obvious American bases in the region, but the secret ones that they thought Iran didn’t know about, including in Oman, which Iran has previously not attacked because they have a good relationship with Oman. The UAE is apparently going to unfreeze billions in Iranian funds according to Routers, so Trump is giving Iran their money like I predicted. What a bitch. Also, we’re still bombing. There was no announcement of a “deal” before the markets opened, so that’s unexpected. Oil is (currently) still under $80, but up over 4% on the lack of TACOs.
Source: https://t.co/HiKOMyvUJT , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-rejects-us-talks-mojtaba-calls-vengeance-trump-warns-1000-missiles-are-locked

The markets are confused. They thought they understood the pattern and expected Trump to TACO, so Monday might be choppy, but if the fighting escalates into the week and Trump doesn’t TACO and announce a new “deal”, people are going to start panicking by mid-week. The UAE is unfreezing Iranian money, so that could be an early indicator of a TACO, but even if Iran gets their money, they should demand Israel leave Lebanon and enforce every violated provision of the MOU before they stop bombing the shit out them. It’s the only way they’ll learn.
Source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/oil-jumps-futures-drop-fresh-iran-strikes-hormuz-confusion

This is breaking news, but the US is bombing Iran’s oil and water infrastructure, and Iran warned that they would return the favor to all the Arab countries and especially to Israel if that happened, so strap in, the Middle East is going to be depopulated and we’re heading straight for a global depression. However, this is based on social media, and it could be bullshit. This just happened as I was writing this, so we’ll see if it’s confirmed in the media. If true, things are going to get spicy.
Source: https://x.com/FinanceLancelot/status/2076478131767026057 , https://x.com/DailyIranNews/status/2076471200549622024 , https://x.com/HormuzLetter/status/2076479412015382710 , https://x.com/zerohedge/status/2076489567201309095

The bottom line is that this is going to be one of the weeks of all time. Stay tuned.

Monkey’s Market Minute: July 10th, 2026

The Regime is already backing down from Iran after they blew up their bases with hyper-sonic missiles. Iran is threatening to withdraw from the nuclear nonproliferation treaty if the Regime doesn’t begin honoring its commitments.
Source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/theyre-scum-trump-says-us-iran-ceasefire-over-sending-oil-higher , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/deepening-dark-trend-emerges-hormuz-ship-traffic-slows , https://omidradio.com/en/2026/07/09/iran-warns-u-s-any-new-attack-will-force-a-change-in-our-nuclear-policy/

Markets are hopeful that Trump with TACO and there won’t be a return to full-scale war.
Source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/new-models-momentum-memory-support-stocks-oil-slides-hormuz-hopes , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-traded-higher-driven-tech-despite-continued-strikes-newsquawk-daily-asia-pac

Israel is claiming they aren’t going to leave Lebanon and told Trump that they’ll assassinate him, I mean that Iran will assassinate him, yeah that’s what I meant to say.
Source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/return-war-iran-sends-ballistic-missiles-kuwait-bahrain-qatar-jordan-after-us-struck , https://thecradle.co/articles/israel-wipes-out-villages-in-south-lebanon-says-no-need-for-permission-to-maintain-occupation

The bottom line is that everything I predicted is happening and exactly on schedule. The tell tale sign will be when the US actually gives Iran their money. Israel is completely ignoring the situation and doing whatever it wants as usual. The assassination threat was a nice touch though.

Monkey’s Market Minute: July 9th, 2026

- Trump, as predicted, claimed Iran is begging for a deal after US strikes. Meanwhile, Iran has attacked all US bases in their biggest wave of attacks since the war ended. They were preparing for this day the entire time. Trump fucked up. The Iranians won’t accept more false promises of peace talks again. Now the “finding out” begins.
source: https://merovingian.club/web/@gatewaypundit_official@minds.com/116887293285901355 , https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116887271868481948 , https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116886907397512650 , https://merovingian.club/web/@dougamacgregor@bird.makeup/116886782600875363 , https://merovingian.club/web/@Terjesdatter@minds.com/116887416736353237

- Israel is strangely quiet. America successfully body-blocked for Israel so they could do what they want in Lebanon, but Iran doesn’t seem to be holding back and being reciprocal this time, and even if Trump begs for a ceasefire, why should they listen to him any longer? Like I said, they should tell Trump that they’ll not talking until their unfrozen money hits their account, and they’ll stop attacking Israel when they leave Lebanon, until then... bombs away.

- In the markets, oil spiked and tech fell, as you would expect. However, there is another story that investors are rotating towards China. Remember when the media would claim the Chinese economy was collapsing for years based on nothing? Now China is a safe haven, oh the irony.
Source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/mideast-melee-spikes-oil-batters-bonds-big-tech-bitcoin-bullion , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/korea-tumbles-goldman-tells-clients-rotate-china-ai-value-chain

- The bottom line is that the Regime is going to disguise the damage caused by Iran, so don’t expect lots of video or anything, but do watch what the Regime DOES. They will likely beg for a ceasefire again before the weekend, and that will tell you everything you need to know. Watch Trump’s rhetoric over the next day or so and whether the US actually gives Iran their money.

Monkey’s Market Minute: July 3rd, 2026

The markets are closed tomorrow for 4th of July weekend. Nothing is happening. There’s more “will they or won’t they” bullshit regarding the Federal Reserve and interest rates next year, but the bubble won’t pop until the food and energy crisis hits later in the fall to early next year.

Speaking of the energy crisis, the media is reporting that nobody is buying Iran’s oil, not even China, because everyone has so much oil that they are full. Yes, they think you’re that fucking stupid.
Source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/iran-runs-big-problem-no-buyers-its-oil-full-tankers-pile-china

With the 4th of July happening, I wouldn’t expect the US to attack Iran, but you never know. Israel is known to use holidays to make sneak attacks, so it would certainly be par for the course.
Source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/buried-4th-july-mediators-pledge-quiet-between-us-iran-allow-ayatollah-khameneis

On a personal note, my PC is fixed. The issue was my power supply and some of my fans weren’t spinning causing my cards to overheat and shut down. I thought I fried my GPU, but it was just the power supply, so only a few hundred dollars in parts and labor instead of a few thousand in new cards. I am still going to look into getting my laptop better synced to my desktop so that if my PC goes down again, it won’t be such a pain in the ass, but everything came under budget, so I’m happy. Everything should be fine for Saturday.

Monkey’s Market Minute: July 2nd, 2026

To update you to my situation, my PC is still being repaired, but I’m on my laptop, but that laptop only has one screen, so doing the show on it would have been hard. I also found out the hard way that the alternate Google account I had been using to get around bans associated with my main google account was deleted (to be fair, I never checked it, it was just an emergency email I set up to register accounts with). Since I was on my laptop and wasn’t logged into the sites I use, and could not log into my gmail because it doesn’t exist anymore, I have lost access to several apps and have had to create new accounts. I’m using Proton mail for my alt account this time, and my new Twitter is “tfmonkey3” instead of “tfmonkey2” (imaginative, I know).

The PC repair place said they haven’t gotten to my computer yet as of the time of this writing, but will take a look at it tomorrow. I’m hoping that it’s something that can be replaced for under $1,000 given the price of PC hardware these days with the AI bubble. I am prepared to use my laptop but use a “docking station” to attach my monitors to it, which will arrive on Friday. I have no idea if it’ll work in time for the show on Saturday.

If there’s anything I’ve learned is that you don’t realize how screwed everything gets when you lose a Google account. So many things require you to log in using your phone number or your Google account, so you either dox yourself or you hope Google doesn’t delete your account for some reason.

As I see digital ID and age-verification being unstoppable now, I’m probably just going to stay off of normie social media going forward and just lie low. I may still make announcements and make myself available to contact, but I’ll keep the shitposting and trolling to a minimum.

Alright, so what did I miss while I was out today? Meta joined XAI in admitting that they built too much data center capacity and the need isn’t there, so they’re going to rent out their spare capacity. This is a stunning admission that the frenzy to build data-centers was a waste of money, but the big tech companies rallied on the news that they wasted their money because, why not?
Source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/meta-sparks-momentum-meltdown-pivot-away-capex , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-were-mixed-and-most-major-indices-finished-lower-amid-tech-weakness-although-most

The Iran War is going. Iran is running out the clock as I predicted, but are fully prepared to deal with the US and Israel. Of course they never got their money and Israel never stopped attacking Lebanon. Iran may be being passive, but Iran isn’t the one in the desperate position, the Regime is. If everything continues as it is, which by all accounts it will, Iran wins. Iran is likely predicting that if they escalate that it will be spun as propaganda and will be a rally for the Regime, which is likely true, and besides, Iran doesn’t NEED to aggress to win, just hold the line.
Source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/trump-briefed-full-scale-war-plans-still-eyes-diplomacy-iran-reminds-us-muzzle-your-pets

Russia is advancing now that it’s Summer in Ukraine. Finland has decided that now is the best time to lift their nuclear ban and stage nuclear weapons at Russia. We’ll see how much progress Russia makes until the rains return in the fall, but don’t expect any major ass beatings or anything. Russia is bleeding the Regime militarily, and Iran is bleeding the Regime economically. The Regime won’t die with a bang, but a slow boring whimper.
Source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/russia-closes-border-crossings-several-nato-states-after-finland-lifts-ban-nuclear , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/ukraines-desperate-propaganda-campaign-while-russia-advances-along-entire-front

Since the show didn’t happen, if you’re curious as to my thoughts on the women of the supreme court supporting birthright citizenship, I knew this would happen when the “conservative” woman judge said it would be “mean” to deport all the babies. It’s not “suicidal empathy”, it’s simply that women don’t bear the responsibility for society. If society collapses, they’ll be fine. There are worse fates than being a war-bride or rape slave, like being a man. It’s the men who will be killed, and the women not only won’t lift a finger, but they’ll get wet from watching you die, and bear your murderers children with a smile on their face. Do you want to know how I know? It’s because that’s what females do in nature. When the alpha is overthrown, they spread their legs for the new alpha, often killing their own children in order to curry favor with the new alpha.

It’s not your fault, the game was rigged from the start, over before you were born. Women were given rights 100 years ago, and the immigration laws were changed in the 60s. None of us were even born then, and there’s nothing left to do but (say it with me) prepare and support each other.

Prepare for what? Why, the “fun times” of course. Some people might call it the “hard times” or “the collapse” or “civil war”, but I like to think of it as “the fun times”. It’s all in how you look at it.

Monkey’s Market Minute: June 29th, 2026

- As I fully expected, Trump and Iran announced that they’ll return to talks and stop launching missiles at each other about an hour before the markets reopen. I’m hoping that this is propaganda and Iran isn’t that stupid, but we’ll see.
Source: https://x.com/KobeissiLetter/status/2071338155404325335

- It’s also been confirmed that the US was behind the tankers running the Strait. The US is overtly trying to undermine Iran’s authority over it’s territorial waters. Iran shouldn’t put up with this, but it gets better. Today (Sunday), the US conducted a huge military operation to escort 5 tankers through the Strait while providing htem a full military escort and air cover. Iran apparently didn’t attack the US, which means Iran blinked, and the US got what they wanted. Why didn’t Iran blow the shit out of all of them?
Source: https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116829383720281038

- It’s been reported that Iran will seek nuclear weapons because they’ve accepted that it’s the only way to establish deterrence, but I’m highly doubtful that this report is real. It goes against everything Iran has been doing and isn’t there style. If they wanted nuclear weapons, they wouldn’t make an announcement, they would just acquire them and announce it after the fact. I’m calling this bullshit, but we’ll see.
Source: https://x.com/drhossamsamy65/status/2071293019010236779

- So, the bottom line is that I’ll give Iran the benefit of the doubt and assume they’re planning something for Monday after the markets open (which is what I would do), but if nothing happens on Monday and Iran falls for another week of stalling tactics while America doesn’t give them their money and Israel doesn’t leave Lebanon, and Iran does nothing while the US military violates their agreements and escorts ships right under their nose, then Iran is cucking for some reason, which makes no sense.

- Iran has no reason to cuck, and cucking isn’t going to get them their money or achieve anything in Lebanon regarding Israel. They’re just stringing Iran along with false promises while they actively attack them and undermine them. If Iran doesn’t attack once the markets open just to rub Trump’s face in his market manipulation bullshit I’ll be extremely disappointed.

Monkey’s Market Minute: June 15th, 2026

- Trump actually did make a deal with Iran. Well, it’s less of a deal and more of “giving in to all of their demands”, but he’s calling it a deal, so who am I to judge?

- The final straw was when Israel attacked Beirut again, and Trump begged Iran not to counter-attack and said it would ruin the deal. Trump even offered Iran $16B to not attack Israel, but Iran said no, and as they prepared to attack, Trump offered to give Iran everything they wanted in exchange for not attacking Israel, and Iran agreed. That’s actually how it went down, believe it or not.
source: https://x.com/KobeissiLetter/status/2066285395365470617 , https://x.com/DD_Geopolitics/status/2066291775418073420 , https://x.com/RT_com/status/2066295016406880497

- Just between you and me, the war isn’t over. The signing ceremony is scheduled for the 19th (Friday) in Europe, and this buys Trump another week of favorable markets, but there is no way Israel is accepting a total Iranian victory- no way in hell. My hunch is that Israel is going to assassinate the delegation from Iran again. However, with the signing ceremony on Friday, the markets should be green all week, so there’s that.

- Also, this gives all the insiders a week to dump their oil shorts before Friday, before the contracts roll over on the 22nd. Oil is already down to $80 on the news the war is over despite the massive shortages that will persist for the next year. Remember that Wall Street was assured that the Strait of Hormuz would be open by June 1st, and it’s June 15th. A lot of insiders are underwater and everything about this is causing my monkey-sense to tingle.
source: https://oilprice.com/Energy/Crude-Oil/Trumps-Iran-Signals-Send-Oil-Markets-Into-Chaos.html

- So that’s my honest analysis. Trump surrendering to Iran was the ONLY way to talk Iran out of attacking Israel, and it buys him a week, getting him to Friday and giving the insiders a week to close their oil shorts that were deep underwater. That’s all this is. On Friday, if not sooner, there will be an event, likely the assassination of some Iranian VIPs, possibly the delegation itself. It doesn’t matter. By that time, the insiders will have sold out of their oil positions, and the war will continue because Israel will never accept defeat until it’s forced down their throat.

- I could be wrong, but I doubt it. If the signing ceremony goes off without a hitch on Friday and the war actually ends, I’ll be very surprised. I just don’t see that happening. It’s not the boomer way, and it’s certainly not the Jewish way, but using peace talks to launch a sneak attack is absolutely the Jewish way, so that’s what I expect.

Monkey’s Market Minute: June 8th, 2026

- Iran warned Israel that if they attacked Beirut (the capital of Lebanon) again that they would be targeted. Israel attacked Beirut again, and Iran bombed the shit out Israel. Trump publically called for Israel not to retaliate and to not escalate, but Israel does what it wants, so it launched several retaliation strikes against Iran. The war is officially back on. Right now Iran and Israel and bombing each other. If America wants to get involved, Iran brought enough for the entire class.
source: https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116711960518055711 , https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116711926217266034 , https://merovingian.club/web/@Terjesdatter@minds.com/116711593898403466

- I could post videos of the bombings, but I’m going to give it a couple of days because it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s AI generated. I do know that if it’s all-out war again, the Regime isn’t going to last 40 days before they run out of interceptors. They are either going to nuke Iran or they’re going to beg for another ceasefire, and by “they” I mean Trump because Israel is going to continue to do whatever it wants unless they’re bombed into compliance.

- Oh, and right before the markets re-open after the weekend too. What a shame. I wouldn’t want to be an investor right now. Get fucked nerds
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-fm-blames-us-contradictions-stalled-peace-talks-tehran-slaps-million-dollar , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/everyones-got-plan-til-they-get-punched-mouth-3-things-top-goldman-quant-learned-friday

- Trump admitted that the inflation you’re experiencing was his choice and that it’s necessary for the wars, just as I said. This is why they can’t raise interest rates to fight inflation. I was expecting this coming week to be damage control over what happened on Friday with the jobs reports and investors worried about rising rates, but Israel fucked that to hell.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/political/i-couldve-kept-it-way-trump-admits-inflation-his-choice-war-isnt-war

- The bottom line is that I was expecting the Regime to stall for time, but this timeline is much better. Will the government come up with some bullshit to save the market tomorrow or are we going to have a “Black Monday”? Like I’ve said, the outcome is fixed, the Regime can’t win, but they can do either smart or stupid shit to either slow down or speed up their demise. It looks like they’ve chosen the stupid path.

Monkey’s Market Minute: June 4th, 2026

Israel responded to Iran’s demand to stop attacking Lebanon by making a ceasefire deal with the Regime-puppet government of Lebanon (not Hezbollah). The deal is that Israel won’t occupy Southern Lebanon any longer; the Regime puppet government will, but Hezbollah has to abandon Southern Lebanon entirely. The government of Lebanon also condemned Iran for undermining stability. Israel murdering people and stealing their land is fine, though. I doubt Hezbollah will surrender, and when this is all said and done, they will probably overthrow the Lebanese government Taliban style.
source: https://x.com/RT_com/status/2062320807305498914 , https://x.com/RT_com/status/2062315406904226137

No updates regarding Iran. Congress voted to restrict Trump from restarting the war, but it’ll likely die in the Senate, or be vetoed by Trump himself. The Constitution mandates that Trump must get permission to go to war, not that Congress has to pass a law to stop him from going to war, but the Constitution is toilet paper at this point, so whatever.
source: https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/house-votes-rebuke-trump-war-iran-rcna348281

Markets fell slightly due to the overnight missile strikes by Iran and fears of another hot war in the Middle East, but don’t expect that to last. Goldman Sachs says that the world has decided to focus on greed over fear, which means that the number will go up based on literally nothing.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/pricking-coming-dalio-warns-ai-bubble-will-burst-dot-com-tech-will-endure , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-bonds-sold-oil-bid-usiran-tensions-continue-boil-newsquawk-us-market-wrap , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/india-throws-open-bond-gates-modi-slashes-foreign-investor-taxes-scramble-halt-rupee , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/broadcom-crashes-after-ai-chip-revenue-forecast-misses , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/worries-are-gone-now-goldman-partner-says-world-has-decided-focus-greed-over-fear

So the bottom line is that nothing happened. The Regime may be more careful provoking Iran going forward since they know they’ll respond will attacks if they do. Pepe Escobar and Larry Johnson are reporting that Iran has been given nuclear weapons by Pakistan, and they will be detonating one of them in the near future to demonstrate that they have them to end the aggression against them once and for all. We’ll see how that pans out. Remember that before Israel made America attack Iran, they didn’t have nuclear weapons, weren’t making nuclear weapons, and the Strait of Hormuz was open. Now the jews have caused a global nuclear arms race.

Monkey’s Market Minute: June 2nd, 2026

- Iran has pulled out of negotiations after repeated violations of the ceasefire they begged for by Israel (who continues to attack and expand war crimes against civilians in Lebanon) and America (who continues to fly drones into Iran, and when Iran shoots them down, they launch missiles out of “self-defense”). Trump is pretending to be mad at and blame Netanyahu, but it’s all kayfabe, this was the plan all along.
source: https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116675417053782534 , https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116675629382286199

- Iran is threatening to completely close the Strait of Hormuz and the Bab Al-Mandab Strait (on the other side of Saudi Arabia in coordination with the Houthis). My hunch is that Trump will get Israel to pretend to abide by the ceasefire, but getting Israel to abide by a ceasefire is like turning a porn star into a housewife. They are going to continue to do what they want unless there are consequences courtesy of Iran.

- The markets were up today despite what is clearly an ominous sign that another hot war and global depression are imminent, and despite the Strait of Hormuz very much NOT being open on June 1st as Wall Street was assured. The only thing that fell was Bitcoin because the government isn’t actively manipulating it. Gold also fell as speculators are chasing oil as the preferred commodity.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-were-ultimately-mostly-higher-amid-tech-strength-price-action-choppy-mixed

- The bottom line is that I applaud Iran for giving peace a chance. It’s never a waste of time to seek peace, but the Regime is going to keep violating the ceasefires it begged for again and again until they’re simply militarily defeated and driven out Taliban style. Even if Israel agrees to back down, that will only last a day or two before they begin bombing people again to test their limits like a child (or a woman). The only way to deal with people like this is to whoop their fucking ass.

Monkey’s Market Minute: May 21st, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Nothing is happening. There was a rumor that Trump had agreed to a deal with Iran, but the more I looked into it, the more it looks like fake news.
source: https://x.com/SGhasseminejad/status/2057227833995325787 . https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-warns-will-take-war-beyond-region-if-trump-restarts-attacks

- But, on the other hand, the new “peace deal optimism has had the effect of causing oil to fall and stocks to rise, so there’s that.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/renewed-peace-deal-optimism-sparks-oil-dollar-bond-yield-plunge-gold-stocks-soar , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-gain-and-crude-falls-end-war-hopes-newsquawk-us-market-wrap

- So the bottom line is that nothing is happening except for unlikely rumors of a deal where Trump gives up, but because Israel is involved, that’s not going to happen.
source: https://x.com/Polymarket/status/2057119902306099696

Monkey’s Market Minute: May 18th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Trump is talking shit about how he’s going to destroy Iran again, I’m guessing to manipulate the markets so that he and his insiders can buy the dip before announcing that Iran is begging to make a deal by Tuesday or Wednesday to manipulate the markets the other way so the insiders can make more money.
source: https://x.com/ImBreckWorsham/status/2056127344557887588 , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/we-shorting-goldman-derivs-desk-sees-cracks-meltup-trading-dynamic , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/uranium-transfer-nuclear-limits-us-issues-5-peace-ultimatums-iran

- Nothing is going to happen. Iran won, and everyone knows it. The Regime is pretending the war is ongoing to avoid admitting defeat, and the economy is slowly slipping off the edge of a cliff. The SPR dump is scheduled to go on until July, which will deplete 172 million barrels, leaving only 243 million barrels left. If things don’t change by July, Trump will probably dump the rest of it to get through the midterms, and then the fun truly begins.
source: https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/us-will-replenish-every-barrel-oil-it-releases-strategic-petroleum-reserve-2026-05-15/

- The Zionists are recruiting Christian Nationalists to fight for them in Lebanon because Hezbollah’s FPV drones are kicking their ass. Be wary of a group called “Crusaders Active Club” trying to attract angry white people who want to stop the demographic replacement by joining the “crusade” to fight for Israel. With Nazis like these …
source: https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116593877948472268

- Oil prices are higher since markets were expecting Trump to say something positive as the markets opened after the weekend, but I think it’s because he was in China last week and didn’t have a chance to manipulate markets, so he’s going to let them fall for a couple of days before manipulating them higher with more lies and bullshit.

- The bottom line is that the Regime is playing chicken with economics right now. The Chinese trip was a nothing burger as I expected, and now we’re back to Trump and Israel not wanting to admit they lost to Iran. Will anything happen this week? Doubtful. We’ll see what happens in the oil markets when the monthly contracts roll over in June and if Iran attacks the American ships after their 30-day window expires, but I doubt Iran will strike first. They’re enjoying the moral high ground, and they wouldn’t gain anything by striking first anyway. Welcome to the slow, boring death of the empire.

Monkey’s Market Minute: May 14th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Investors are apparently “panic buying” tech stocks even as inflation is exploding, the bond market is crashing, and we’ve lost the war. Why are investors “panic buying” tech stocks at a time like this? Because it’s not real. It’s all fraud and bullshit. The rest of the market is crashing, but the massively overpriced tech stocks are surging DURING inflation, DURING fucking inflation? Get the fuck out of here.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/jensen-sparks-big-tech-dip-buying-despite-volcanic-ppi-erupting-oil-bitcoin-battering , https://www.post-gazette.com/business/money/2026/05/13/stock-market-today-may-13-2026/stories/202605130027

- Israel is getting fucked up in Lebanon thanks to Hezbollah’s use of FPV drones, giving the Regime the Ukraine treatment. Ukraine is sending experienced trainers to Israel to train the IDF on how to deal with FPV drones. It’s not going well. Hezbollah also knows the government of Lebanon is compromised, and they are making plans to overthrow the puppet politicians themselves. Based. Meanwhile, the puppet government is condemning Iran for supporting Hezbollah and resisting Israel’s aggression. How dare they!
source: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/may/12/how-hezbollah-3d-printed-drones-challenging-israeli-military , https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/videos/international/hezbollah-drone-hunts-idf-soldier-dodges-israeli-defences-amid-lebanon-fighting/videoshow/131079635.cms , https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/article-895968 , https://shafaq.com/en/Middle-East/Lebanon-accuses-Iran-at-UN-of-fueling-war-with-Israel

- Trump’s trip to China is a big nothingburger. The media is largely ignoring it, which tells you everything you need to know.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-says-open-china-landing-beijing-pomp-filled-red-carpet-airport-welcome

- Trump is scheduled to leave China on Friday, so nothing is going to happen for the rest of the week. Just enjoy the peace before the fireworks start again.

- The bottom line is that everything is on cruise control due to Trump’s trip to China. The wars are lost, but on hold. The economy is dogshit, but the markets are being propped up. Everything is artificially being frozen so Trump can pretend he isn’t a complete loser while he accomplishes nothing during these talks with Xi. I’m pretty sure all the Jewish CEOs he brought with them are making Xi an offer to sell the US out to save Israel from the bed they made themselves.

- On an unrelated note, I created a new YouTube channel completely unrelated to my MGTOW content, based around the game Identity V, which I enjoy. My avatar is a biblically accurate angel because I don’t have to animate the face at all. I use a voice changer as an attempt to disguise my voice, so if that bothers you, it is what it is.
Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/@tfmidv25

NOTE: I couldn't upload the MMM yesterday because the site was taken down and replaced with a phishing site. I will post yesterday's news letter as a comment to this one.

Monkey’s Market Minute: May 12th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- I’m afraid nothing is happening this week since Trump and Xi are scheduled to meet this week. Iran isn’t going to escalate, so don’t expect anything to happen.
source: https://www.reuters.com/world/china/rare-earths-deal-between-us-china-is-still-effect-us-official-says-2026-05-10/

- With Trump and Iran both publicly rejecting each other’s peace proposals, and the hopes for a peace deal plunging, it should surprise nobody that the stock market just hit a new all-time high today.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/oil-stocks-gold-bitcoin-iran-peace-deal-hopes-plunge , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/options-market-has-flipped-top-goldman-trader-warns-gammaskew-extremes-mean-increasing

- India is rationing fuel as the oil shock spreads throughout Asia, and gasoline prices in California are over $6, so it should surprise nobody that oil prices remain under $100 at $99.30 for WTI.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/commodities/modi-urges-indians-conserve-fuel-oil-shock-spreads , https://www.wsj.com/business/energy-oil/think-6-gas-is-bad-its-about-to-get-even-worse-in-california-354d3d2f , https://oilprice.com/Energy/Crude-Oil/Oil-Market-Runs-Down-Safety-Cushion-as-Supply-Shock-Worsens.html

- The only thing worth mentioning today is that it’s apparently been leaked that the Regime will use the V-22 to airdrop soldiers into Iran. The V-22 is a hybrid helicopter. I’ll include a picture of one with the newsletter since it would be easier to show you rather than tell you. It’s not a new aircraft; it was developed in the late 80s and has been used by special forces since then. The problem with the ground invasion of Iran isn’t getting the troops into Iran; it’s overcoming the fact that you’re severely outnumbered by a well-defended enemy and cut off from any retreat or resupply.
source: https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116558386627374852

- Oh, and it’s not just me calling it. The Atlantic has declared that Trump is “checkmated” in Iran and cannot win even if he tried.
source: https://www.theatlantic.com/international/2026/05/iran-war-trump-losing/687094/

- The bottom line is that I don’t expect anything significant to happen until the meeting between Trump and Xi is over. The market is so fake and gay that I can’t even look at it anymore. Not even for entertainment.

Monkey’s Market Minute: May 8th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- The US Navy attacked an Iranian oil tanker, so the Iranians attacked the ships. According to the Iranians, they damaged the ships severely, but according to the Regime, they missed entirely, but the ships fled anyway for funsies. The Regime then shot missiles at Bandar Abbas and Qeshm Island. Iran has implicated that the UAE was also involved in the attack, and will be responding.
source: https://x.com/sahouraxo/status/2052492610174935289 , https://x.com/ripplebrain/status/2052533036177146120 , https://x.com/HormuzLetter/status/2052475486601699804 , https://x.com/Megatron_ron/status/2052511742157349128 , https://x.com/RT_com/status/2052523815352041715 , https://x.com/MyLordBebo/status/2052556533649625334

- Regarding the Hanta Virus. Everyone is worried that they’re gearing up for more COVID lockdowns, but I think this is just one of those things that happened, and the system will work as intended, and it’ll be dealt with quickly. Why do I say that? Two reasons:

1. The media isn’t hyping up the fear like they were with COVID. They appear to be keeping people calm.

2. There is no safe vaccine for the elites to use to protect themselves. There have been hantavirus vaccines in the works, but they all cause severe side effects. The Elites won’t release a pandemic unless they know it’s a hoax (i.e., reclassifying seasonal flu as COVID) or if they have a “cure” for themselves so that only the desired target population dies. They’re not going to release a virus with no cure or vaccine that will kill them.

- Remember when there was an Obola scare, and it was handled quickly, quietly, and was forgotten bout in a month? That’s what I predict will happen here. The government does have systems for dealing with actual deadly diseases, and those systems save lives. It’s just that those systems can be used for corrupt power grabs as well. Maybe I’m wrong, and the Jews did it, but I think this will blow over in a couple of weeks after all the infected cases are quarantined.

- So now that the war is officially back on, you won’t be surprised to learn that oil prices fell under $100 again based on an unprecedented amount of options contracts flooding the market all at once. I know you’re shocked, right? Who could have foreseen this?
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/record-shattering-call-options-activity-sparks-goldman-partner-warning-markets-semi , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/irans-yellow-cake-red-line-ruins-black-gold-driven-green-day-hopes-stocks

- So the bottom line is that, from reports, the Regime was not expecting Iran to retaliate so aggressively, and if the war goes back to missile tag, America will begin depleting its ammo stock before it’s even ready for the ground invasion. Womp womp.
source: https://x.com/RyanRozbiani/status/2052489121050825068

Monkey’s Market Minute: May 7th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Nothing really to report since the show earlier today. Trump pumped and dumped futures, and insiders made money through insider trading, as you do. The TLDR is that Trump announced that a deal was in the works and the war was over, then Iran called Trump out for his bullshit, but in the intervening time, insiders were able to make money by front-running the announcement and selling before Iran could debunk their lies. This is the President of the United States and his inner circle treating the markets like a crypto scam.

- The Regime’s cope for cancelling “Operation Freedom” after a single day without admitting that Iran called their bluff and fired drones at them, is that Saudi Arabia and other Arab “allies” told them they weren’t going to let the US use their bases, and that’s why they cancelled Operation Freedom.

- There’s not much else to mention. The FBI is going to release more alien files to distract you because they think you’re that stupid.

- We’re draining the SPR currently, and oil is still above $100 with nowhere to go but up.

- The bottom line is that nothing happened. The 30-day countdown has begun. Iran has vowed to attack the US if they don’t withdraw their blocade and admit defeat. They’re not going to let them float out in the Arabian Sea and pretend not to lose like with Ukraine. Tick Tock.

Monkey’s Market Minute: May 5th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- I was wrong. I thought through the data and behavior and came up with a reasonable scenario that fit all the available data and would accomplish the goals of the various parties, and I couldn’t think of an alternative, which is why I was so confident. However, I always put a caveat that I can’t predict genuine stupidity. If someone does something retarded, I can’t predict that. It’s not that I can’t see the possibility of someone doing something stupid, but I have to believe that someone is going to speak up and say “that’s fucking retarded” and put a stop to it. I shouldn’t be smarter than the most powerful people on Earth.

- So “Operation Freedom” was not a kayfabe wherein Trump gets Iran to let some ships go so that Trump can declare victory, drop the blockade, and sail away while saving face. The retard just sent a missile destroyer into the Strait of Hormuz, which ignored repeated Iranian warnings, and was hit by several drones, blowing the shit out of the rear hull, which caused the ship to turn around and run away. He honestly expected Iran to cuck for no reason after winning. What a dumbass.

- Now the US appears to be preparing for the prophesied big attack on Iran, but wait … a Trump insider just opened a $6M short on oil, which means if the pattern of following the insider trading holds up, then oil is about to crash, which means the US will cuck because Iran didn’t JUST attack the destroyer, but they also destroyed the UAE’s terminal which bypassed the Strait of Hormuz, and basically said that no oil moves without Iran’s say so, and the UAE is their bitch now.
source: https://x.com/DeFi_Hanzo/status/2051257761254564018 , https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116519144246137137 , https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116518797501170766 , https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2026/05/developing-ceasefire-apparently-as-iran-fires-missiles-uae/

- Hedge funds are dumping tech and oil is back over $100 again.
source: https://x.com/GlobalMktObserv/status/2051306102860472443 , https://x.com/jimstewartson/status/2051331982093947092

- I know that there is supposedly a Trump insider shorting oil, and what Trump did and is doing makes no logical sense, so maybe this is just a ploy to make more money using insider trading, because if Trump actually is doing what he appears to be doing, he’s the dumbest piece of shit ever. I’m still in disbelief that “Operation Freedom” was just Trump expecting the Iranians to cuck for no reason and let him win to avoid a second phase of the war that they won.

- Sadly, what this means is that my analysis is useless. I can’t predict stupidity. Either this is a ploy to make money using insider trading, or Trump just wrote the biggest check with his mouth that his ass cannot cash whatsoever.

- The bond market might also be blowing up, or it might be a glitch, hard to say. China has an incentive to dump its remaining bonds because they are defying US sanctions on Iran, but there is no confirmation, and it could be a glitch … we’ll see. If China is aggressively dumping bonds, that’s a troubling sign that Trump REEEEEAAAAALLLY fucked up.
source: https://x.com/DarioCpx/status/2051191081392582857

- The bottom line is that either this is an insider-trading scheme or shit’s about to get really spicy. I’m honestly happy that Iran attacked the ship and that I was wrong about the kayfabe. That was just the only scenario I could think of that fit the data, but Trump is just a dumbass. He’s a typical boomer who is too old and stubborn to do anything but double down. Good! I can’t wait for more footage of Tel Aviv being destroyed. I’m sure China is very pleased to see the US using up its Asian arsenal against Iran as well. Between Biden and Trump’s boomer retardation, the Regime is destroying itself at a pace I couldn’t have guessed.

Monkey’s Market Minute: May 4th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

Trump has announced "Project Freedom" to liberate the ships trapped in the Strait of Hormuz, which are only there because the United States and Israel violated a ceasefire and blockaded Iran (ineffectually) in the first place, using several disposable missile destroyers staffed with approximately 15,000 personnel. This is happening because "Operation Epic Fury" is officially over, as it's been 60 days. Trump has to go to Congress if he wants to continue the war, so he's created this "humanitarian crisis" to justify further aggression without Congress having to actually declare war, and that's all.

When Iran destroys the ships, Trump will clutch his pearls and pretend that the Iranians attacked for no reason at all, and the media will parrot everything while the MAGAtards claim Trump is a genius because he made Iran attack again, which was all part of his 6D chess move.

None of this matters. It's just a shame that Trump is sacrificing the lives of these Navy personnel for nothing, but at least they'll die for Israel, right?

There is a chance that Iran just lets the ships go, despite them only being held due to the actions of the Regime, simply to take away Trump's justification for a continued war, which Trump will hail as a great victory, and the MAGAtards will cheer about what a genius he is, and how it was all part of his 7D chess move. Maybe that's the plan to give America an "out" and save face after losing, so they'll fuck off.

The markets are going to follow developments in the Strait of Hormuz, seasoned with pro-Regime spin and propaganda. If Iran lets the ships go and gives Trump a "win", stocks will soar as the perception will be that the war is over. If Iran sinks the battleships, giving Trump a cause to attack Iran again, stocks might crash unless the government props them up irrationally. It's hard to say, but my hunch is that Trump doesn't want a war, but he needs a "win", so Iran lets the ships go, America leaves the region, and the blockade is quietly abandoned, giving Iran everything it demanded, but will be seen as a victory by those who want to be lied to.

Then things will shift to Cuba and World War 3. Why not keep the focus on Iran if the goal is to stoke World War 3 fears? Because of Israel. The Regime wants to protect Israel at all costs, so moving the focus from Iran to Cuba means Iran can be quietly memory-holed and Russia and China can take center-stage.

Finally, China has directed its oil refinery companies to ignore all threats from the US regarding sanctions. This is a big move and means China is fully prepared to completely de-dollarize now, or else they wouldn't be doing this. The Chinese are patient and never make a move unless they know with absolute certainty that it's going to end in their favor, no matter what.

The bottom line is that we will see what Iran does and how "Project Freedom" goes. If I were Iran, I'd sink the ships, but I know the goal is to help America save face as they admit defeat. It's all fake and gay. Everything is just pro wrestling with boomers who can't even throw a punch any longer, the worst kind of pro wrestling.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 30th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- News has gotten out that Iran can move oil by train, and that the blockade is a joke. Trump is now threatening to attack Iran again. However, I believe the action by the UAE is strong evidence that they will not. If they attack Iran, Iran will destroy the UAE, and they won’t be able to increase oil supplies and will have left OPEC for nothing. The Regime is saying one thing but doing another, and I always follow what someone does rather than what they say.

- The markets are shitting the bed today because not only is the war back on (for now), and commodities are spiking, but the FED kept interest rates at the current level and didn’t cut them. Looks like that Trump insider who went long on oil over the weekend was right. You gotta love the rigged casino.

There isn’t much to talk about. The tech companies lost money because of higher costs and lower revenue, but again, I believe Trump won’t attack Iran because Iran will destroy the UAE and oil will go much higher, negating the benefit of the UAE leaving OPEC in order to increase production. I predict Trump will calm the markets down by the end of the week only to reignite fears over the weekend and then calm them on Monday when the markets reopen. Get used to this happening every week until the midterms are over and Trump is impeached.

- Sorry this newsletter is so short. The markets are fake and gay, and it’s up to Israel whether or not the war enters a new phase, so we’re just waiting for them to do something stupid.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 28th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Nothing is really happening in Iran. Iran has offered to make a deal with America regarding the Strait of Hormuz only and putting the nuclear issue aside, which is probably a good deal for Trump, and he’s currently “thinking about it.” Iran also met with Putin, which could mean that Iran will bring in Russia as a guarantor of peace with America and Israel.
source: https://x.com/MyLordBebo/status/2048928186554110422 , https://x.com/RT_com/status/2048893570979872894 , https://x.com/StealthQE4/status/2048932784245195086

- Speaking of Israel, they broke the ceasefire (nooooo, really?) and bombed deep into Lebanon, and the government of Lebanon blamed Hezbollah for “dragging the nation into war” instead of Israel for bombing innocent people. I get it, the government of Lebanon is weak and cannot defend itself from Israel. The irony is that Israel did it to them. They wanted a weak neighbor that they could bully, so the government of Lebanon has a shit military by design, which is why they can’t do anything about Hezbollah. If the government could deal with Hezbollah, it would have the strength to resist Israel, which Israel doesn’t want. They just keep making their own problems and blaming everyone but themselves.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/israel-bombs-deep-lebanon-first-time-3-week-ceasefire

- None of this means anything unless Trump takes Iran’s deal, which Israel won’t let him do. Either something happens now, or something happens later when the situation becomes more desperate, and the government’s manipulation begins to break down, and the economic situation falls apart.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-offers-new-proposal-reopen-strait-trump-open-sealing-deal-phone , https://www.zerohedge.com/energy/goldman-goes-code-red-global-petrochemical-shock

- In the markets, OpenAI missed its revenue and user targets as they’re worried that they won’t be able to come up with the $1.5T they promised to fund the AI circle jerk. *yawn* Nothing to see here. AI bubble to the moon. New all-time highs based on nothing coming soon!
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/openai-misses-revenue-user-targets-cfo-fears-15-trillion-commitments-cant-be-paid

- This Wednesday is the big tech companies' (Mag7) quarterly earnings reports, but even if they miss their targets like OpenAI, nothing will happen. The government is nowhere near the point where it will actually allow the markets to crash. There might be a small pullback of 10% of so, which will recover quickly once the world doesn’t end after a day or two and the normies pour back into the same tech stocks that are losing money.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/ahead-wednesdays-mag-7-earnings-juggernaut-why-600-billion-capex-may-not-be-enough , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/calm-storm-markets-go-nowhere-ahead-event-risk-heavy-week , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/semis-have-completely-dislocated-ism-readings-gap-always-closes-one-way-or-another

- So the bottom line is that nothing is happening because Trump hasn’t decided to take Iran’s deal. After all, Israel doesn’t want him to, but he has no other choice but to move forward with the doomed ground offensive or launch a false flag to justify a larger ground offensive and a draft. Just enjoy the quiet and do something enjoyable this week. If the war reignites or if Trump takes the deal, it doesn’t really matter. The economy is fucked either way.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 27th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- There isn’t much to say. As the week begins, Trump is threatening Iran again and surely will announce that Iran is begging for a deal, which will be scheduled for Friday after the markets close. Iran will say Trump is lying, the markets will hit new all-time highs, and on Friday, Trump will cancel the meeting because there was never a meeting to begin with. Lather – Rinse – Repeat until the energy crisis strikes in full force later this year.
source: https://x.com/MarioNawfal/status/2048543395451191486

- However, there is a rumor that a Trump insider has put a $28M long on oil, which means he’s betting oil is about to spike, which could mean an escalation will happen this week. We’ll see. Iran is fully prepared. Let’s start this party already. It’s telling that the best indicator for what is really happening is based on watching gambling markets for corrupt insider trading.
source: https://x.com/VladTheInflator/status/2048581227708588245

- In the markets and economy, Goldman Sachs is warning investors about a market pullback, and Scott Bessent is defending the swap lines with the UAE and confirming that the swap lines are extended to both the Middle East and Asia, which means that it’s everyone who uses the dollar and not just Europe.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/goldman-desk-braces-market-pullback-five-warning-signs-are-flashing , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/bessent-defends-us-dollar-swap-lines-uae-considers-formal-funding-request

- So the bottom line is that I don’t see anything that makes this week special or more likely than last week for the Regime to launch their attack against Iran, but the insider trading indicates that this might be the week they do something, and the fireworks begin. We’ll just have to see. Iran isn’t going to strike first since they’re in the winning position.

- Breaking News: As I was writing this newsletter, Axios, which lies all the time and spreads obvious propaganda, reported that Iran is going to open the Strait of Hormuz for literally no reason, and this is being reported everywhere as if it’s serious and real. I can’t anymore with this shit. I just can’t.
source: https://x.com/Polymarket/status/2048584959481254399 , https://x.com/MarioNawfal/status/2048575859246924278 , https://x.com/RT_com/status/2048580098966852059

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 24th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Today Iran’s air defenses shot down several Israeli drones over Iranian airspace originating from Kurdistan in Iraq. Iran launched missile strikes against the Kurds in response. Is this an isolated incident, or the opening moves in the new phase of the war ahead of the main offensive this weekend?
source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkum993Yx_U

- Israel has agreed to a 3-week extended ceasefire in Lebanon as they are presumably going to focus on Iran.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/us-intercepts-iranian-tankers-tehran-keeps-hormuz-chokepoint-shut , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/israel-waiting-us-greenlight-renew-iran-war-new-targets-marked-says-katz

- The markets dipped today with the war imminent and all, but I fully expect some retarded bullshit tomorrow. Trump will announce that he won the war again and the markets will go to all-time highs, and then the shooting will start after the markets closed.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-hit-and-crude-gains-choppy-geopolitics-driven-trade-newsquawk-us-market-wrap , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-slide-oil-surges-iran-war-fears-semi-honey-badger-higher-17th-straight-day

- There’s more to discuss like the Middle East being given swap lines and more money printing, but all of that will manifest as an after effect of losing the war in Iran, so it doesn’t really matter. If Trump wasn’t an Israeli puppet, he would pull out and take the “L” but he won’t because he is.

- The bottom line is that we’re just waiting for the fireworks to (re)start. Let’s get this over with, shall we?

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 23rd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- The US seized more ships, so Iran seized more ships. Iran has currently seized more ships than the US. Also, the top admiral of the Navy abruptly resigned, meaning Trump is probably planning on bringing the aircraft carriers closer to Iran, where they’ll be heavily seasoned with missiles, and the top admiral doesn’t want that blood on his hands. This is hard evidence that Trump is not going to seek an off-ramp and that the big offensive is still on, but the military brass know it’s doomed and are jumping ship.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-seizes-two-ships-hormuz-chokepoint-tehran-received-some-signs-us-ready-end , https://www.aol.com/articles/trump-navy-secretary-resigns-effective-223649714.html

- The Lebanese ceasefire appears to be collapsing, but it’ll probably hold until the weekend when the big offensive (probably) happens. Americans are being advised to depart Lebanon now while the ceasefire holds.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/embassy-tells-americans-still-lebanon-depart-now-while-flights-available-ceasefire

- Are the markets still fake and gay? Of course!
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-shrug-surging-oil-prices-bitcoin-rips-tehran-turbocharges-tensions-trump

- I’m sorry that this newsletter is so short. It’s just that everything hinges on the Iran War, which would have ended a long time ago if not for Israel, but like I said, this is the hill the Regime will die on because of Israel.

- The bottom line is that the rest of the week is likely to be quiet as the US and Israel prepare for a possible big offensive this weekend. Iran is fully prepared, so we’re waiting for the Regime to initiate the naval offensive that caused the head of the navy to resign in disgust today.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 21st, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- This is how the Iran War went today: Trump claimed Iran was agreeing to more negotiations to prop the markets up, Iran denied it, then the western media claimed that Iran was joking and cited two unnamed Pakistani sources that said Iran is totally going to agree to negotiations, and Iran denied it. At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words, and once the missiles start flying again, it’s going to be pretty obvious there aren’t going to be any more negotiations. I’m a bit surprised that Israel and America didn’t break the ceasefire first, especially Israel, since that’s kind of their signature move. Anyway, the ceasefire expires tomorrow, so let’s get this over with.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-says-no-plans-talks-after-us-seizure-cargo-ship-pakistanis-contradict-oil-prices , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-says-no-plans-talks-after-us-seizure-cargo-ship-pakistanis-contradict-oil-prices , https://x.com/DanielLDavis1/status/2046395846757953595

- The markets are as fake and gay as they ever were. We’ll see what happens tomorrow. If Iran agrees to a ceasefire extension, stocks will go to new all-time highs and oil will fall again. If Iran starts launching missiles again, then the opposite will happen. There is no point speculating or analyzing anything because the Iran War is driving the market, followed closely by Trump’s endless market manipulation.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/oil-jumps-tech-dumps-gold-slumps-blockade-booms-ceasefire-looms , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-finished-mixed-geopolitics-dominated-headlines-and-conflicting-reports-about-us

- It’s worth pointing out that the damage in the Middle East will already cause a global recession in a few months. Even if the war ended tomorrow with a deal, it’s fucked. Another round of fighting, especially if Iran makes the Middle East uninhabitable and there is a failed ground offensive by the United States, will just add gasoline to the fire that’s already burning under the surface. I’m not losing any sleep missing out on the stock market right now, and you shouldn’t either. The only people making money are the insiders who are illegally trading using insider information and manipulating the market.

- The bottom line is that we’ll see what happens tomorrow. Nothing else to say.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 20th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Trump proposed another round of negotiations in Pakistan with Iran, but Iran said they’re not interested in more meetings until the US is willing to agree with the 10-point conditions. Trump then seized an Iranian cargo carrier that was returning from China (which had left before the blockade towards China and was returning home). The US Navy attacked and seized the merchant vessel, and Iran said that the US has violated the ceasefire and that they are preparing a response. Since there will be no ceasefire extension and the US violated the ceasefire, we’re waiting to see what Iran’s response will be. The US Navy is sitting out of range of Iranian missiles, and its blockade is only effective because merchant ships are so painfully slow that anyone can catch up with them if they want. I predict that Iranian ships will shortly become Chinese or Russian ships, but nothing will otherwise change. The Iranians can’t attack the US Navy directly, and since Navy ships are mobile, they’re not ideal targets for long-range missiles anyway. If I were Iran, I would simply change my merchant vessels from Iran to China or Russia and let them deal with the blockade however they want. Meanwhile, I would hit Israel. That’ll bring the US running back to Israel’s defense to provide missile support, which will put them in range of Iran’s missiles: Bait the trap, lure the prey, spring the trap.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/no-more-mr-nice-guy-trump-sends-witkoff-pakistan-us-iran-talks-hormuz-traffic-freezes

- In a bit of random news, Palantir posted its manifesto, called “The Technological Republic,” on X. Alex Karp is Jewish and supports Israel, but you can read the post and see that he isn’t a death cultist who wants mass sacrifice to fulfill some bullshit prophecy of the Messiah and Greater Israel. Again, the Technocracy is NOT the good guys, but between the death cult Zionists and literal Communists, they’re the least shitty bad guys.
source: https://x.com/PalantirTech/status/2045574398573453312

- The markets are pulling back as the commodities markets open, but I expect Trump to say some bullshit about Iran begging for a ceasefire and agreeing to finger Netanyahu’s asshole as Trump sucks him off, and for stocks to go to new all-time highs. The only thing that will cause markets to realize Trump is obviously lying again is if Iran starts launching missiles again. No missiles means the war is over, and whatever Trump says is close enough to true to bet your life savings on.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/jpmorgans-top-commodity-analyst-shocked-prices-are-falling-nothing-has-improved , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/hartnett-its-bull-trap

- So the bottom line is that the fireworks might restart a day earlier than expected, but it ultimately doesn’t make a difference. The outcome is already fixed. Enjoy the show.