Monkey’s Market Minute: March 10th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, consider reinforcing your front door so that it can’t be kicked open or broken into with basic hand tools like a hammer or axe. Make them blow their way in if they want to break into your house. This won’t just protect your house from crack heads and criminals, but if hockey mask time occurs, and you’re being served a no-knock warrant at midnight, having a reinforced door could be the difference between giving yourself a fighting chance or getting shot to death in your bed with your dick in your hands. It’s not illegal to reinforce your door, and it only costs about $100 in materials. However, if you’re a renter, make sure you have your landlord’s permission, and check the HOA rules ahead of time. Here is a link: https://www.amazon.com/Door-Armor-MAX-Complete-Reinforcement/dp/B00E9ZGWH2

- So what was the big thing that happened today? Trump did announce that the war was ending, causing oil prices to plunge from $120 to $80 in a single day, and everyone began celebrating, but the funny thing is that nothing happened. Trump’s big plan isn’t to drop nukes, but to just gaslight everyone and tell them the war is over while the war is very much ongoing and Iran is winning. I guess his plan “worked” in the sense that the markets reversed, but people are going to find out very quickly that the war isn’t over when the Strait of Hormuz remains closed, and bombs continue to fall on Israel. Is his plan really just to lie and rely on his alpha male frame bullshit? Apparently so.
source: https://x.com/DD_Geopolitics/status/2031137548970692717 , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-says-no-room-talks-us-seeks-partition-country-take-oil-new-hardline-ayatollah

- Meanwhile, I’m getting reports that US personnel are abandoning the Middle East and flying home en masse, which means the US is abandoning the Middle East. I’m also seeing reports that Iran is offering to let other Middle Eastern countries use the Strait of Hormuz if they kick out all the US and Israeli diplomatic personnel and essentially stop doing business with them altogether. Trump has said that the US is going to use its navy to seize the Strait of Hormuz, and the French are sending a small fleet as well to force the re-opening of the Strait because the US believes that Iran can’t sink a warship. Iran has been telling people that they are saving their “good shit” for the appropriate time, and have made good on that promise lately. They weren’t bluffing and coping, but … we’ll see, I guess.

- Also, they’re talking about lifting oil sanctions on Russia because with the Middle East shut down, Europe is fucked, but Putin is twisting the knife and saying that he may not sell oil to Europe because he has new friends that appreciate him.
source: https://x.com/RT_com/status/2031131958965657904

- So it’ll be interesting to see how long Trump's lying to people’s faces is going to work to keep oil prices low, probably not long, and once the market realizes that Trump is talking shit, the government will lose that tool permanently, as all trust will have been lost.

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Crypto
o 2. Information Technology
o 3. Bonds
o 4. Bitcoin
o 5. Healthcare
o 6. S&P 500 Index
o 7. Industrials

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Brent Crude Oil
o 4. Broad Commodities
o 5. Agriculture Commodities
o 6. Financials
o 7. Energy

- Do you see now why I just stay in cash in times like these? Who wants the stress of trying to guess the next move in this rigged casino based on fraud and bullshit? Everything that caused the market to move today was based on lies, so does that mean that the market will reverse, or that the normies will believe the same lies tomorrow? Who can say?

- So the bottom line is that I’m genuinely curious what Trump’s next move is. Iran isn’t going to agree to a ceasefire, and he’s checkmated and can’t win, and just lying isn’t going to work very long, so now what? We’re truly in uncharted waters.

MMM March 9th, 2026 Audio
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Monkey’s Market Minute: March 6th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, make sure you have a manual can opener. They cost a few bucks, so maybe get 2, but if you are reliant on an electric can opener and the power goes out, your electric can opener becomes a paperweight. In fact, you should make sure you have manual cooking tools that don’t rely on batteries or electronics, including thermometers and scales. Being able to do things manually without electricity or batteries means you can do those things when they matter most. If you’re used to using hand blenders, they have a semi-auto whisk that spins by pushing down on the whisk with mechanical force. Consider picking up tools like these. https://www.amazon.com/Digead-Stainless-Versatile-Blending-Whisking/dp/B088TH4QDV

- Let’s return to our normal analysis:

- The US and Israel appear to be out of air defense missiles. Videos show missiles hitting Tel Aviv with nothing being launched to intercept them. Since the air defenses are depleted, Iran has launched a brand new missile that splits into 80 missiles in the air and rains death. There is a video of the rocket splitting in the air, but no video of the damage because of heavy Israeli censorship of damage on the ground. The US is staging its ground invasion from Iraq, and I expected Iran to bomb the shit out of them, but they’re not. The Foreign Minister said that they’re awaiting them, which means they have something special planned for them.

- The Regime has convinced Azerbaijan to join with the Kurds and Americans to invade Iran. Azerbaijan was being a little asshole against Russia and trying to cozy up to NATO anyway, so Iran dealing with them is doing Russia a favor.
source: https://carnegieendowment.org/russia-eurasia/politika/2025/07/azerbaijan-russia-arguments , https://eadaily.com/en/news/2026/03/05/azerbaijani-army-will-invade-iran-if-it-starts-losing-mardan

- So that’s the next shoe to drop. We’re waiting to see how the big ground invasion goes for the Regime. They are supposed to be sending in 50,000 troops along with whatever troops Azerbaijan and the Kurds provide. To put everything in perspective, the force that invaded Iraq in 2003 was 175,000. Iran also has about twice the population that Iraq has, and about 3X the landmass of Iraq. Also, Iran has the direct military support of Russia and China, which Iraq didn’t have, and even if they did, Russia and China are vastly more advanced than they would have been in 2003. It’s also worth repeating that the US does NOT have total air supremacy in Iran, which they had in Iraq. Finally, if those 50,000 troops are killed, that’s it. There won’t be a second chance. Pulling this shit during an election year practically gift-wrapped Trump’s impeachment, not that the Democrats aren’t pro-Israel, but Trump will be taking the fall for this failed war.

- In the markets, all you have to know is that we have 3 days before commodities explode. They were supposed to have the Strait of Hormuz open in 4 days. They said that the Iranian navy was destroyed and that America had absolute air supremacy, and the markets believed them. Now that it’s clear they were lying, the countdown has begun.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/jpmorgans-new-hormuz-closure-math-just-3-days-until-total-commodity-chaos

- Also, the US government is openly admitting that it’s going to engage in commodities futures manipulation to keep prices down. All you motherfuckers who said I was coping because I lost money on natural gas can lick my fucking butthole.
source: https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/us-weighs-oil-futures-market-action-combat-rising-energy-prices-wh-official-2026-03-05/

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Brent Crude Oil
o 4. Natural Gas
o 5. Broad Commodities
o 6. Agriculture Commodities
o 7. Energy

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Industrials
o 3. Materials
o 4. Consumer Staples
o 5. Healthcare
o 6. Crypto
o 7. Gold

- Gold shouldn’t be going down, but whatever. The markets still don’t know what to believe. They typically follow the government and never bet against the government, but the government is clearly lying, so what do you do?
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-slammed-below-key-support-oil-yields-soar

- The bottom line is that this will all get hashed out on the battlefield. The government can lie and manipulate oil prices for a while, but when Iran destroys their army, the world will see it, and nothing else will matter. An empire can paper over inflation and even lie to people’s face, but losing a war is unforgivable. Then the only question will be whether the US launches nukes out of spite or not. We’ll see.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 5th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I have something unusual that I want you to consider: the next time you go to the store, instead of buying frozen foods, buy the canned equivalents and see how you like them. If you don’t like them, try preparing them in different ways to see if you can make them work. Not only are canned foods more shelf stable, but they’re often cheaper because they can be shipped without being frozen, so they can be imported from cheaper markets. IF you don’t like pickled foods because they’re too acidic, prepare them with sugar and salt. The importance of this is not only to save money and encourage you to stock up on canned goods, but also to remind you that you should stock the food you actually eat, and actually eat the food you stock, otherwise you’re just taking up space with “prepper food” that will rot on your shelf and never get used.

- Let’s now return to our regular analysis:

- Two major incidents happened today involving Iran. Firstly, there was an Iranian ceremonial ship that was attending exercises with India when the war broke out. This lone Iranian ship was unarmed and staffed with ceremonial personnel and was India’s guest. The US used a submarine and blew up the ship, and when the crew was calling for help, the Indians did nothing. The nearby Sri Lankan navy saved about 40% of the crew; the rest perished. Secondly, the US was using the Kurdish invasion from the West as a distraction to send US special forces via parachute into Iran to seize a nuclear facility. The special forces were ambushed and either all killed or perhaps some were captured. There is a strict media blackout on the incident.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/military/world-war-iranian-warship-reportedly-sunk-sri-lanka-submarine-attack , https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116175117619382812

- The US is completely out of air defenses. Israel is also burning through air defenses quickly. They carpet-bombed Tehran, so Iran sent hypersonic cluster missiles into Tel Aviv.

- We’re still waiting on the Kurds to throw themselves at Iran. The Arabs have also threatened to join the fight, but Iran and the Houthis said that if they did, all of their oil infrastructure would be targeted. Did I mention the US is out of air defenses? There is nothing the US can do to protect the oil from Iran, so my hunch is the Arabs shake their fist in the air and do nothing.

- In the markets, the government is stabilizing not only the US market but also the global markets, too. Everything is fine. In fact, the US has already announced that Iran is totally defeated and the Strait of Hormuz will be open. That’s not true, but the normies are buying it for now, so it worked, but for how long? Eventually, the US is actually going to have to defeat Iran instead of just claiming to while Israel eats missiles with no air defenses. Goldman Sachs expects the Strait of Hormuz to be opened in 5 days. Tick Tock.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/political/watch-bessent-teases-series-announcements-stabilize-oil-says-trumps-15-tariff-will-kick , https://www.zerohedge.com/commodities/crude-stocks-rise-35-million-highest-may-2025 , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-software-soar-oil-snores-traders-forget-about-war , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/goldman-expects-strait-hormuz-flows-restart-after-5-days-fully-normalize-4-weeks

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Crypto
o 3. Consumer Discretionary
o 4. WTI Crude Oil
o 5. Information Technology
o 6. Communications Technology
o 7. Gold

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Natural Gas
o 3. Consumer Staples
o 4. Bonds
o 5. The US Dollar
o Everything else was up.

- Of all the fake and gay markets I’ve witnessed, this is by far the fakest and the gayest market. This is basically the opposite of COVID. Instead of propaganda to scare everyone over a sore throat, they’re using propaganda to tell everyone we’re winning and Iran has been defeated. How many more days of this before people start to question the narrative? It could be a long time if COVID is the baseline.

- So the bottom line is that it’s day 5. When the US invaded Iraq in 2003, the Iraqi military was quickly defeated, and the capital was taken in 6 days. Israel lasted 12 days last year against Iran. Let’s see what tomorrow brings.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 3rd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I’m going to strongly recommend the Stanley FatMax 1200 Amp Jump Starter, 120 PSI Air Compressor, USB Power Bank, and Lamp. I personally own this (although it's an older model), and it’s paid for itself many times over. It’s less than $100 and allows you to instantly jump your car yourself in an emergency and refill a flat tire, but since it also has USB outlets and a lamp, it’s also an effective emergency power bank. If you have a Sam’s Club membership, I strongly recommend this unit for your car. https://www.samsclub.com/ip/STANLEY-FATMAX-1200-Amp-Jump-Starter-120-PSI-Air-Compressor-USB-Power/15188023565 However, if you don’t have a Sam’s Club membership, I have a similar unit to recommend that has more features, but costs a little more ($150 versus $100). This unite have AC power, not just USB power ad a built-in solar panel so that you can leave this in your car where the sun will hit it and keep it topped off indefinitely. If you get the Stanley from Sam’s Club, you do have to bring it inside to recharge it every couple of months because the battery will slowly drain, but if you have the one with the built-in solar panel, you won’t have to worry about it. The unit I’m recommending is currently 20%off, normally $200, but on sale for $160. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B872ZR99/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_1?smid=A11FPJAW36YQTD I still think the Stanley is the better deal if you have a Sam’s Club membership, though.

- Let’s return to our financial and geopolitical analysis:

- Day 3 of the Iran War, and it’s going much worse than I anticipated. I knew Iran would win because they won the 12-day war last year and are much stronger now with the direct help of Russia and China (whom Iran originally didn’t accept help from, believing they would repair relations with America, underestimating Israel’s influence). However, even I am shocked at just how badly the Regime is getting its ass kicked. The few unknown variables have fallen into place, and all of it is bad for the Regime, fatally so:

o The new Ayotollah of Iran, whom I knew nothing about and was waiting to see if he was a hawk or a dove, is apparently very hawkish, and has been a voice advocating for nuclear weapons, believing that the fatwa against them was wrong and that only Israel’s destruction would bring peace. Well, Israel killed the Ayatollah, who was against nukes, and his successor wants to wipe out Israel with nukes, so three guesses how this is going to go. In his first public statement, he declared that the time for negotiations was over, that Israel uses their nukes like a scarecrow, that they have no idea what Iran is going to unleash, and that every crime, every suffering Israel has inflicted will be returned. There were rumors that Israel killed him shortly after being made the new leader, but those were fake. https://x.com/sahelbrut3/status/2028590136644993466

o In fact, the regime has had no real success in Iran at all aside from the initial strike and the sinking of their navy, which the Iranians never bothered to defend. The Iranian navy is a regional navy and had no chance against the US Navy, so they just abandoned the ships at port to their fate to spare the lives of the crews. Aside from those victories, the Regime has been totally ineffective against Iran. Iran’s missile facilities are all deep underground and in the mountains and totally protected from air strikes, as the US should have remembered from when they tried to defeat the Houthis with airstrikes.

o The Shia Muslims have finally begun rioting and risen to overthrow their government … in Bahrain. US and Arab forces are currently trying to put down rioters in Bahrain, trying to overthrow the government and drive the US out of their country. Iran also destroyed the US embassy in Saudi Arabia, as well as destroyed the US bases (and the hotels that the US personnel were hiding in). The Arabs are pissed because the US abandoned them to defend Israel, and the Regime’s air defenses are totally worthless. The only Arab country that Iran hasn’t attacked is Oman, which is not home to any US bases and acted as a mediator with Iran and the US before the war. https://x.com/Partisangirl/status/2028647253460807892

o The Regime is already beginning to run out of air defense missiles. Israel lasted almost 2 weeks last year against Iran, but now the Regime is running out of air defense missiles after 3 days. Also, the Iranian missiles are now equipped with upgrades thanks to Russia and China, and the air defenses aren’t even working anyway.

o Supposedly, Israel has a new “laser dome” that can shoot down missiles instantly using lasers, and there is a video of them instantly shooting down Hezbollah rockets from Lebanon, but if you have a laser gun that can instantly shoot down rockets from Lebanon, why can’t it shoot down the Iranian drones and missiles? Did you only put this amazing laser gun weapon on the Lebanese border and forget to defend your main cities, or is the whole “laser dome” AI-generated horse shit?

o The US is considering removing missile defenses from Asia (South Korea, Japan, etc.) to protect its REAL greatest ally, Israel. It’s the “China: do nothing, win” meme. The US has already said it isn’t sending any stock to the Arabs, who have complained that they’ve exhausted several years of production in the last few days.
source: https://x.com/Megatron_ron/status/2028670620922257520

o I’ve seen questionable reports of possible nuclear testing, and with the blood moon happening, there is a lot of speculation that a nuclear weapon will be used in Iran. If that happens, it’s WW3, and it’s not going to be particularly long. With the US using negotiations to launch attacks twice in a row, there’s simply nothing to discuss. Either Russia and China nuke Israel and/or the US, or they’ll be nuked themselves. This is the corner that Israel has painted the Regime into. There will be no winners.

- That’s about it for now. Like I’ve said, take a lot of this with a grain of salt because it’s based on social media. I try to follow reliable sources and look for confirmation, but I’ve been fooled before, so if any of the above isn’t accurate, I apologize.

- The markets are a total joke. Everything was positive, and the Israeli stock market made a new all-time high as the missiles were falling. You can’t make this shit up. Meanwhile, gas prices in Europe are up 50% in a day, but not in America; nope, everything is fine. My hunch is that the insiders were caught with their pants down and need time to sell their bags to the normies, but there is no way to prop this shit up long term. They are likely only buying themselves a few days for the elites to make off with their ill-gotten gains.

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Bitcoin
o 4. Natural Gas
o 5. Energy
o 6. Crypto
o 7. Gold

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Consumer Staples
o 2. Bonds
o 3. Consumer Discretionary
o 4. Healthcare
o 5. Utilities
o 6. Materals
o 7. Agriculture Commodities

- You’d be forgiven for being confused by the market today, but that confusion is quickly alleviated once you realize how fake and gay the market is.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-were-choppy-and-energy-prices-surged-amid-iran-conflict-newsquawk-asia-pac-market

- The bottom line is that day 3 has been another W for Iran, but the blood moon is today, and maybe nukes get used. Who knows? Maybe some crazy antichrist shit happens today! We’ll just have to wait and see together. So far, the fact that the Regime is doing so badly so quickly compared to the 12-day war last year is shocking even for me. It appears Trump really didn’t have a plan and just trusted his Jewish advisors unquestioningly. What a dumbass.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 2nd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I’m just going to recommend cast-iron cookware and point out that you can season your cast-iron with coconut oil. You can use any oil, including lard or bacon grease, if you want, but the professional cast iron conditioner you buy in the store (and costs $15) is essentially just coconut oil, which you can just buy in bulk. I use coconut oil in my candles and soap; it’s really a wonderful material, and it has the longest shelf life of any cooking oil (5+ years). Just remember to get virgin coconut oil.

- Let’s return to our financial and geopolitical analysis:

- You’ll have to forgive me when it comes to the Iran War. I have been paying attention to social media off and on, but I didn’t copy/past the exact links because a lot of it is based on social media, and I don’t feel like tracking down those individual posts again, so you’ll just have to “trust me, bro” about some of these, but I’ll post sources when I can:

o Iran shut down the internet again due to the Regime hacking a prayer app in Iran to track targets. There is also a brand-new drone based on Iran’s own drone technology called LUCAS, which the Regime is using, which is equipped with Starlink, so it can’t be jammed, but turning off the internet allows Iran to track Starlink more easily, as they proved in January.

o The Regime is claiming that they have air supremacy and they are bombing Iran into submission, and that all the leaders have been killed, but also that Iran is begging to resume talks and end the war. There is no proof for any of this.

o Iran is attacking ships, but not the warships; they’re targeting the supply ships that rearm the warships. This, in combination with their attacks on US bases throughout the region, indicates that Iran plans to cut off the Regime’s ability to rearm locally, which means they’ll have to withdraw once they exhaust their current inventory of missiles.
o There are already concerns that the Regime is running out of air defense missiles, and it’s only been 2 days. The Regime is still bragging about killing the Ayolottah and hasn’t mentioned any breakthroughs, which is telling.

o Israel is getting their shit rocked much worse than during the 12 Day war last year, which Iran won if you’ll recall. Let’s see what Day 3 brings tomorrow.

o There are a LOT of questionable claims that are unverified, so things could be going better or worse depending on how things pan out.
- Source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/israel-suffers-significant-casualties-iran-war-retaliation

- Regarding the markets, they opened, and as expected, gold and oil spiked and then quickly sold off. I guess nothing is happening that could affect oil or gold prices. The Straight of Hormuz is closed, but I guess that doesn’t matter. The casino is as rigged as ever, just in case you thought otherwise.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/futures-slide-oil-and-gold-jump-no-panic , https://x.com/KobeissiLetter/status/2028281926398648587

- So that’s about it. The Regime’s answer to the Iran War and the oil prices is to just manipulate the price down and hope for the best. There is no obvious plan, but the boomers won’t take the “L” so I expect Trump to escalate somehow. How? I don’t know, but they’re not going to admit defeat, so they’ll do something stupid.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 27th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment item is “contractor bags,” which are triple-thick garbage bags. While normal garbage bags are 1-2mm thick, contractor bags are 3-6mm thick. Look for ones that are 5mm thick or more. The ones I’m linking to are 7mm thick and have woven reinforcement. They are 10X stronger than even normal contractor bags. They are listed as being able to hold 110 lbs in a single bag and are reusable due to their durability. They cost about $1 per bag, $20 for a pack of 16. Not only are these incredibly useful simply as bags, but they can be cut up or taped together using ductape in order to make whatever you need. Need a tarp? A makeshift shelter? A poncho? A sandbag? A post-apocalyptic duffel bag? You’re limited only by imagination and ingenuity. https://www.amazon.com/DURASACK-Contractor-40-Gallon-Reusable-Polypropylene/dp/B0DXM6BCRY

- Let’s return to our normal analysis because we have some breaking news!

- Pakistan and Afghanistan have gone to war, but it’s a pretty one-sided war. Afghanistan doesn’t have the patronage of major military suppliers like Russia and China. Their patron was Pakistan, and whatever equipment they had from America. The Taliban had been allowing anti-Pakistan insurgents to set up bases in Afghanistan, similar to how the Taliban allowed Al-Qaeda to set up bases in Afghanistan. Being a former spook, I can actually tell you why they do this. It’s part of their culture to accept guests and to protect guests. They did it with Al Qaeda, which brought the US to declare war on them, and apparently, they were doing the same thing with anti-Pakistan groups, which brought Pakistan to bomb them and kill a bunch of their leaders. Like I said before, Afghanistan’s patron was Pakistan, so there isn’t a lot that they can do in response. They really need to stop allowing terrorists to set up bases in their country. I get that it’s part of their culture, but it clearly hasn’t been working out, and maybe it’s time to reassess this cultural practice, especially when it comes to the countries you’re allied with and dependent on.
source: https://x.com/ME_Observer_/status/2027191593413820617 , https://x.com/real_lord_miles/status/2027187286018851294 , https://x.com/visegrad24/status/2027168861280141582

- Very sad to see the Taliban go down like this, especially since they were the first country to take women’s rights away, and I had hopes for them, but their habit of giving haven to terrorists is apparently their undoing. Pakistan and Afghanistan aren’t geopolitically important, so it’s whatever. I hope that a reformed Taliban retains control of the country, and after they make peace with Pakistan and stop giving haven to terrorists, they don’t give women their rights back, but it’s whatever. At least they proved that taking women’s rights away was possible, even if they fumbled the ball.

- Before we talk about Iran, we have to talk about Ukraine briefly. Ukraine has been given NATO long-range missiles, which Russia warned would lead to Russia striking NATO. These are NATO “kits” being assembled in Ukraine to give NATO plausible deniability while giving Ukraine the same capability as giving them long-range missiles directly. There is also intelligence that they’re going to give Ukraine nuclear material to create a “dirty bomb” to use against Russia. Russia has to respond forcefully to these aggressions by NATO. If only there were some way to strike out at the United States and militarily humiliate it through some kind of proxy, which would deflate NATO’s belief that the US is invincible and that it can keep aggressing against Russia with impunity. If only…
source: https://www.rt.com/news/633096-ukraine-nukes-france-uk-russia/ , https://www.rt.com/news/633087-thomas-penn-franco-british-nuke-plot-ukraine/ , https://www.businessinsider.com/ukraine-zelenskyy-homegrown-missiles-900-miles-hit-russian-factory-2026-2

- Everything circles back to Iran. The Regime is under pressure from Israel to attack because, as I’ve said, from Israel’s perspective, it’s now or never. The Regime is only getting weaker, and if the “Greater Israel Project” is going to happen, they need Iran gone. The above issue involving Russia and the long-range missiles given to Ukraine despite Russia’s warnings simply makes this issue that much more decisive. If the US is defeated, all the wars will end, ALL OF THEM. The US shouldn’t attack, but they might simply because the Jews are demanding it, because to back off now would be seen as a loss, and the Regime NEVER takes “L”s, they ONLY double-down when they lose.

- If Israel wasn’t involved, there would be no war in Iran, but Israel is continuously pushing for war, and Trump is owned by Jews, so it may happen despite what a bad idea it is, which may ultimately be for the best because once the military is defeated similarly to how the NATO-Ukraine army was defeated in 2023, then maybe, just MAYBE, the Regime will actually realize that it needs to stop and admit its empire is crumbling, stop with the money printing and market manipulation, stop with the “great reset” bullshit, and work out a new global security arrangement with Russia and China. Freedom is found only in the tension between equals, but the US (and Israel by extension) must be humbled before they can acceptthat they aren’t in charge any longer and allow freedom to thrive.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-advisers-want-israel-attack-iran-first-better-optics-politico , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/us-demands-iran-dismantle-its-3-main-nuclear-sites-hours-long-talks https://x.com/ME_Observer_/status/2027205929763053774

- As far as the markets go, everything is crashing again, so the war is back on, maybe? NVIDIA pumped and dumped, but retail (i.e., normies) bought the dip. But why were the insiders selling so aggressively in the first place? It all points back to Iran. If the war is on and it goes badly, the market is going to crash simply because everything is about propping up the empire. If the empire is defeated, the fact that it’s broke and being propped up with fraud no longer matters. An empire that’s broke and fraudulent, but winning on the battlefield is one thing; losing on the battlefield can’t be papered over or solved with tariffs and interest rate cuts.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/its-not-retail-thats-selling-tech-stocks , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/momentum-and-nvidia-crashing-goldmans-tech-trader-responds-panicking-hedge-funds , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/futures-flat-despite-blowout-nvidia-earnings

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Gold
o 3. Real Estate
o 4. Industrials
o 5. Bonds
o 6. Brent Crude Oil
o 7. Energy

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Natural Gas
o 3. Information Technology
o 4. S&P 500 Index
o 5. Utilities
o 6. Crypto
o 7. Agriculture Commodities

- A stunning reversal in only 24 hours! Yesterday, the war was canceled, and today it isn’t. The Jews must be very confident. Let’s see how this plays out.

- There is a video from RT that the US will use the sinking of an aircraft carrier as a “Pearl Harbor” moment to begin WW3, but it’s been WW3. They’re launching long-range missiles into Russia right now. The only reason Russia isn’t dropping nukes is that they’re hoping they don’t have to and they can win without them. Sinking an aircraft carrier via Iran is possibly the only way to AVOID WW3, although realistically, if WW3 is to be avoided, Israel must be destroyed, which Iran can also do, so let’s see what Iran can do. They have the fate of millions, possibly billions, on their shoulders. They can end this once and for all.
source: https://x.com/RT_com/status/2027207316517351518

- So the bottom line is that this could finally be the day that the “nothing ever happens” finally ends. With Ukraine launching long-range missiles into Russia, BRICS needs to understand that they need to defeat the US, and Iran is the place to do it since the Jews won’t allow Trump to back down, even if it doesn't make strategic sense. The only way I see the Regime defeating Iran is by using nukes, which means we’re all dead, and there’s nothing left to worry about.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 26th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, let’s talk about meat preservation. You need two basic ingredients: salt and sodium nitrate. You’ll need a cool, dry place like a root cellar (or practice using the fridge for now). The sodium nitrate preserves the color and taste of the meat, but it’s dangerous to consume. It’s not to be used like salt; it’s a chemical that causes a reaction in the meat over several days to preserve it. Another thing about sodium nitrate is that when you combine it with charcoal and sulphur, you make gunpowder. Isn’t chemistry fun? Anyway, cured meats last for several months at room temperature. Do you like foods like salami, pepperoni, ham, and even bacon? All of those foods are either partially or fully cured. While store-bought bacon only lasts 2 hours at room temperature, dry-cured and smoked bacon can last 10-20 days at room temperature. Salt is also one of those essential supplies that you’ll want plenty of anyway. Think about what you enjoy eating, and learn how to make it yourself so that you’re less dependent on the supply chain in an emergency. Here is a video about meat curing to get you started. You don’t need special tools for this, other than scales for accurate measuring, just materials and patience. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlCnxWUOaAw

- Now let’s return to our regularly scheduled analysis:

- There’s nothing to discuss regarding the markets. The AI bubble persists with Nvidia pumping and dumping. Metals are dumped too. There are no fundamentals at work. It’s just insiders pumping and dumping to line their own pockets. With no growth, the only way the casino can make money is to prey on investors, especially with so many people out of work and hoping to turn trading into their job.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/nvidia-smashes-estimates-record-revenue-and-blowout-guidance-stock-jumps , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/private-credit-rocked-ubs-shock-outlook-surge-cascading-defaults-and-widespread-contagion

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Crypto
o 3. Information Technology
o 4. Financials
o 5. Natural Gas
o 6. S&P 500 Index
o 7. Communications Technology

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Brent Crude Oil
o 4. Consumer Staples
o 5. Industrials
o 6. Materials
o 7. Energy

- The market is confirming that the Iran war is cancelled despite what the media is signalling.

- The only update regarding Iran is that Israel is supposedly going to attack Iran first, and then, after Iran retaliates, the US will come to Israel’s defense, and that’s supposedly better from a political standpoint than attacking Iran directly. The media is openly contradicting Trump’s claims that Iran is developing nuclear weapons, and the Pentagon is leaking memos against the plan to attack Iran. The war is cancelled, hence the market action.
source: https://www.politico.com/news/2026/02/25/white-house-politics-israel-strikes-iran-00799456 , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-claims-iran-developing-missiles-hit-us-contradicting-intel-reports , https://www.meforum.org/mef-observer/iran-seizes-on-u-s-joint-chiefs-leak-to-suggest-military-action-wont-achieve-goals , https://www.cnn.com/2026/02/25/politics/caine-iran-hegseth-trump

- We’ll see if Israel attacks Iran. I don’t see any momentum. Nobody is buying that Iran is making nuclear weapons or that Iran is a threat to the US. Maybe Israel will launch a false-flag terrorist attack and blame it on Iran to gin up support for the war. That’s about the only card Israel couldpossibly play. The Regime is checkmated, and they truly don’t know what to do at this point. You love to see it.

- The bottom line is that we’re still waiting for something to happen with Iran. Today, the markets seem to indicate that the war is cancelled, and that’s my conclusion as well, but the media is talking like there is going to be an attack soon. I don’t know how long they can keep this going. Iran isn’t cucking, so either fuck or put your clothes back on and get out.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 24th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Today’s prepper tip is uninsulated stainless steel watertight drinking bottles. They can hold boiling water, and because they’re uninsulated, they will warm a sleeping bag for 4-6 hours, or hold the bottle underneath insulated clothing for extra warmth. A stainless steel container can also be boiled directly by heating the bottle itself with fire, which isn’t true of a plastic bottle, even a high-quality bottle like a Nalgene bottle. You need a water bottle anyway, so why not one that doubles as a mobile heater and a boiling water container? For our purposes, it’s better to get an uninsulated metal bottle because if the bottle is insulated, it will be harder to use it to boil water or as a heater, but it’ll be hotter to the touch if the liquid inside is hot, so be aware of the tradeoffs. Here’s an Amazon link to a two-pack of uninsulated steel sports bottles for under $20. https://www.amazon.com/Yopay-Stainless-Bottles-Uninsulate-Cyclists/dp/B0CSYGJFG1 These can be used as regular drinking bottles and don’t have to be hoarded for an emergency, but if an emergency happens, these bottles have additional uses that most bottles don’t because they’re either made of plastic or insulated.

- Let’s return to our normal financial and geopolitical analysis:

- No updates regarding Iran yet. There are rumors that the attack is going to happen in the next 48 hours, but if that were true, they wouldn’t announce it like that. Netanyahu came and went, and nothing happened. They’re going to cut a deal with Iran, but don’t know how to spin it so that it doesn’t look like they lost, like they did when they lost the trade wars with China. Just pivot to attacking the cartels in Mexico, my dude. They’re right fucking there, just go.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/president-trump-curious-why-iran-hasnt-capitulated , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/us-intel-aided-mexican-special-forces-el-mencho-kill-spillover-risks-rise , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/mexicos-cjng-decapitation-strike-fallout-not-end-just-beginning

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Gold
o 3. Consumer Staples
o 4. Healthcare
o 5. Utilities
o 6. Broad Commodities
o 7. Bonds

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Financials
o 3. Consumer Discretionary
o 4. Crypto
o 5. Communications Technology
o 6. Information Technology
o 7. Industrials

- The market got hammered today with many tech companies crashing due to …. *checks notes* Claude AI being able to write code, which it could do since 2024.

- So yeah, Anthropic, the company behind Claude AI, is apparently going to put the traditional tech sector out of business because normies are realizing in 2026 that AI can write code, which has been happening since 2024, but NOW it’s a big deal for no reason whatsoever. Is Anthropic profitable? No, it’s not. It’s projected to turn its first profit by 2028 if the AI bubble continues at the current pace (hint: it won’t). It’s very strange seeing the market panicking over AI in 2026, but the normies follow the media, and the media is indicating that this is a big deal in 2026.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/tariffs-tehran-spark-bonds-bullion-gains-big-tech-bitcoin-pain , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-declined-amid-trade-uncertainty-and-ai-disruption-concerns-newsquawk-asia-pac , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/ibm-plunges-after-anthropics-latest-update-takes-cobol

- I’m not sure what the plan is here. The need to keep the AI bubble going because that’s the only thing propping up the markets, thus the economy, thus the empire. These AI companies aren’t public or profitable, so there’s no way to “invest” in them to keep Wall Street propped up. What’s the plan here? Is everyone distracted with Iran, and whoever’s job it was to keep this circus going on break? I guess we’ll see what the plan is after whatever happens in Iran happens. If we end up going to war, everything will be fucked anyway, so maybe it doesn’t matter.

- So the bottom line is that the Iran War is still kinda sorta maybe happening, but probably not. Also, AI writing code for 2 years suddenly matters, and it's hurting tech companies. We’ll just have to see what the government does with all of this because the economic fundamentals certainly aren’t driving the market in any way right now.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 23, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, let’s tackle a big one that I’ve been researching for a while, and that’s antibiotics. You can’t grow antibiotics. You can’t scavenge antibiotics, and you will die if you don’t have antibiotics. Before they were discovered in 1928, the mortality rate of infections was up to 48%, and up to 90% in children. Today, the mortality rate is about 13%, all thanks to antibiotics. Preppers used to buy fish antibiotics, but based on my research, the government started cracking down on preppers buying fish medications in 2023 after COVID (remember when Trump recommended hydroxychloroquine and the news called it fish medicine?). Thanks to the Democrats wanting to stop people from using “fish medicine” instead of injecting themselves with heart-attack-causing gene therapies, I can’t find an easy way to get fish antibiotics. It’s definitely possible, but it’s a huge pain in the ass, not to mention that you have to look up how to convert the dosage for humans. Luckily, the free market provides! There is a company that offers emergency antibiotic kits for humans with 10 different common medications, all using human dosages, and only for about $100 more in total than the fish antibiotics would have cost. You will need a prescription, but it can be done via telemedicine. The price is about $300, which sounds like a lot of money, except remember that you’re getting 10 different medicines. It’s called the Jase Case: https://trueprepper.com/antibiotics-preppers-emergency-supply/

- Now let’s return to our regularly scheduled imperial collapse, already in progress:

- In Mexico, a cartel leader was killed by Mexican Special Forces, and the cartels are attacking across multiple cities. Call me cynical, but the timing of this seems awfully convenient. If Trump cucks on Iran, the Regime needs to start a new war so that the news cycle will quickly move on from the failed war to the new war, and at the moment, the Regime needs a new war; the Mexican cartels provide the Regime with a new (easy) war to flex their muscle.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/mexican-forces-kill-cjng-kingpin-sparks-cartel-chaos-across-guadalajara

- Nothing is happening in Iran. I’m calling it. The Regime is backing down because Iran didn’t cuck and that’s all folks. If the Regime is smart, they’ll quietly drop the blockade against Cuba and go shoot some Mexicans and hope the world forgets about their bullshit.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-floats-joint-oil-investment-sanctions-rollback-wish-list-ahead-next-us-talks , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/white-house-ready-offer-iran-token-nuclear-enrichment-instead-all-out-war

- Bitcoin crashed today out of nowhere, and I saw reports earlier about an account on Polymarket rumored to be a Trump insider who trades things before they happen with 100% accuracy, shorting the Iranian War, which also backs up my belief that the Iran War is cancelled.

- With the Iran War not happening, what is Israel going to do? They’re forming a regional alliance with Regime puppets to “counter” Iran and BRICS. The nations joining Israel are: India, Greece, Cyprus, and unnamed Arab, African, and Asian countries. LOL, LMAO!
source: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/2/22/netanyahu-says-israel-will-forge-regional-alliance-to-rival-radical-axis

- Lastly, Israel is marshalling its last allies in Iran, the Kurds, to challenge the government. I genuinely feel bad for the Kurds because they’re being sacrificed for nothing. I guess Baal doesn’t care from whom the blood flows.
source: https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/article-887527 , https://www.timesofisrael.com/liveblog_entry/iraq-based-kurdish-iranian-parties-unite-to-defy-islamic-republic/

- As far as Israel is concerned, this is the end of the Greater Israel Project. You’re done. You lose. You get nothing. Good day, Sir! This alliance of Israel, led by India, will only unite the Middle East behind BRICS. Pakistan will counter India, Turkey will counter Greece, and Cyprus, and Iran just beat Israel again, so what are they going to do? They have nothing left. It’s over. The Kurds are likely to be expelled from Iran for working with Israel, similarly to how the Afghans and Indians were earlier. They backed the wrong horse, sucks to be them, but this is good news for Turkey, which hates the Kurds, and with Israel allying with Greece and Cyprus, Turkey will likely side entirely with BRICS, which is good for BRICS, although they shouldn’t trust Turkey.

- So the smart move for the Regime is to pivot to Mexico and fight the cartels and memory hole Iran as quickly as possible. We’ll see what happens together.

- In the markets, oil is going to fall when the Iran war is officially cancelled, but nothing has fundamentally changed. The economy is still being propped up with the AI bubble, the COMEX is still fake and gay, but metals will likely recover soon now that the Chinese New Year winds down and the Chinese start going back to work. It’s an election year, so all the government numbers will be manipulated to hell, so there’s nothing to do except watch the show unless you want to participate in the bubble yourself, in which case, have fun.

- Lastly, I want to briefly elaborate on what happened at the end of the show yesterday, where someone was telling me I should be investing in value stocks instead of sitting in cash, and that I’m. “timing the market” by not putting my money in stocks. I was tired and annoyed, and didn’t want to deal with normies, but you guys are different, so I’ll explain things to you here: interest rates are high, and inflation is high, the labor market is weak, and the AI companies are unprofitable. We’re due for a major crash, but the government is lying and manipulating things. So what do you do? Do you invest in the markets and trust the government can spin these plates forever, or do you trust the laws of economics? You’re essentially betting on the future either way, but you should never invest in an obvious bubble, even if the government is blessing it. It will eventually break, despite the government’s bullshit. You’ll likely see the government lose control of the metals market this year despite blatant manipulation. There simply isn’t a way for the US to win the war against economics, and I am not betting my life savings on a bubble. Do you know what the year-to-date return of the S&P 500 is so far? 1%! Do you know what money markets are paying right now? Around 3.5% to 4% risk free with full liquidity.

- The bottom line is that we’ll be waiting for confirmation of the “deal” with Iran and the pivoting to Mexico this coming week, and I’ll be paying attention to the metals markets. It doesn’t look like I’ll be getting my junk silver dimes, though, c’est la vie.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 20th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Today I discovered something while testing my candles. I figured out the optimal wax/oil ratio for an optimal burn and started experimenting with different wick types. The most surprising wick that turned out shockingly well was cotton clothesline cord. Make sure you get 100% cotton clothesline, not cotton cord with a synthetic core, because if you burn synthetic fibers, you’ll create harmful gases that you don’t want to breathe, but cotton cord is an excellent wick. It creates big consistant flames, even in a high oil candle, and would be excellent for a lantern (which can run on pure oil). Comparing my cotton cord wick candle to my string wick candle didn’t show a difference in the rate of burn, so the larger flame did not burn through the candle noticeably quicker than a standard string wick. Not only that, but cotton cord is just useful for a basic rope. It’s not going to be as strong as parachute cord or anything, but it’s listed as suitable for camping, and camping is just another way of saying disaster preparation. Rope has infinite uses, and I just gave you another one; it’s a great wick for a slow burn high oil candle or stove. Remember to check and make sure the cord doesn’t contain synthetic fibers before you burn it, though. Your lungs will thank me. https://www.amazon.com/PerkHomy-Purpose-Natural-Crafting-White/dp/B0DBV59TPM

- Let’s return to our regularly scheduled analysis:

- No update on Iran. Trump has indicated that something might happen within the next 10 days, but who knows? Israel has also threatened that if the US doesn’t attack Iran, Israel will do it themselves, and then force the US to come to their rescue and enter the war themselves anyway. The eternal “we’ll see” is still activated, but … who knows?
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/window-closing-iran-diplomacy-iaeas-grossi-issues-pessimistic-outlook , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/watch-iran-russia-china-joint-drills-kick-crowded-waters-notam-issued , https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/2026-02-20/ty-article/.premium/as-war-with-iran-looms-israel-is-not-watching-the-u-s-from-the-bleachers/0000019c-77cf-d618-a19d-77efe7c80000 , https://www.facebook.com/WIONews/videos/breaking-israels-chilling-warning-to-iranisraeli-prime-minister-netanyahu-says-i/917365414011986/

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Brent Crude Oil
o 4. Bitcoin
o 5. Utilities
o 6. Energy
o 7. Broad Commodities

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Financials
o 2. Consumer Discretionary
o 3. Natural Gas
o 4. Information Technology
o 5. Consumer Staples
o 6. S&P 500 Index
o 7. Real Estate

- I guess we’re going to war with Iran again, everyone, panic!

- In precious metals, they’re still hammering gold to keep it below $5,000 even as China buys it. How long will this last? Who can say? It may take a few months for the metal supply to flow to China, especially wit Chinese New Year ongoing. I don’t know what they hope to accomplish unless all of this is just to buy more time for Israel and their retarded war with Iran, which wouldn’t even surprise me at this point.
source: https://x.com/TFMetals/status/2024552007902573013

- Also, Russia has officially denied the report from the media that Russia is making a deal with the US to go back to the dollar, and calling it “fake news”. It was obviously bullshit because it made no sense, but now it’s officially confirmed bullshit, so we can all move on now.
source: https://www.rt.com/russia/632798-russia-us-deal-economist-fake/

- The bottom line is that we’re still waiting on this whole thing with Iran and the COMEX to play out. The Regime is fucked, and even with the Chinese New Year happening, gold and silver aren’t being as suppressed as I’d like. An ounce of junk silver dimes is currently $60, and it’s only 90% silver! Absolutely disgraceful. The one time I WANT the government to manipulate the markets more, and they let me down.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 19th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s survival prep section, instead of talking about something new, I want to give an update about some stuff I’ve learned on my candle-making journey. I make wax and coconut oil candles, but the ratio of wax and oil affects the burn rate and strength. The more oil, the smaller the flame, but the longer the candle lasts. However, if the flame isn’t hot enough, the melted wax/oil puts out the candle itself. For a basic candle, use a roughly 75/25 wax/oil ratio. A 25/75 wax-to-oil candle works, but the flame is very small and can go out. As a bonus fact, woodwicks are useless unless the candle is 100% wax, but then the candle burns extremely quickly. It’s not worth messing with woodwicks. I was hoping the woodwicks would work out because I like the flickering flames for meditation, but c'est la vie.

- Let’s return to our market and geopolitical analysis:

- The markets don’t know if we’re going to war with Iran or not. Some people are saying that the war will happen this week. Other people are saying that it’s going to be next month, as the second aircraft carrier needs time to enter the region. The normies are jumping back into tech stocks, but also buying oil and gold. If war breaks out, gold and oil will moon. If nothing happens, tech will likely benefit as everyone pours back into the AI bubble.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/oil-gold-rip-retail-dip-buyers-rescue-software-stocks-amid-very-quiet-session , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-finished-higher-following-firm-data-and-strength-energy-and-tech-newsquawk-asia , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/crude-rallies-reports-trump-close-major-war-iran-newsquawk-us-market-wrap

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. WTI Crude Oil
o 2. Brent Crude Oil
o 3. Gold
o 4. Broad Commodities
o 5. Materials
o 6. Consumer Discretionary
o 7. Information Technology

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Bitcoin
o 3. Utilities
o 4. Real Estate
o 5. Bonds
o 6. Consumer Staples
o 7. Natural Gas

- Please note that nobody is betting on recession, only the status quo (tech) or massive inflation due to money printing and war (oil and gold).

- In geopolitics, Russia and China have announced more “naval drills” off the coast of Iran. Also, there is a scheduled meeting in April between Trump and Xi, and apparently, an arms deal to Taiwan is being put on hold to use as leverage with China. I think whatever happens in Iran will determine how the April meeting with Xi goes, for what it's worth.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/record-taiwan-arms-deal-limbo-white-house-vacillates-amid-xi-pressure-report , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/escalation-iran-russia-china-hold-naval-drill-flashpoint-strait-hormuz

- None of the other wars matters right now. I know the US is supremely cocky, but they were cocky in 2023 when they launched the Ukrainian counteroffensive, which proceeded to get destroyed, and that was 3 years ago. Russia and China have become stronger since then, they’ve shared their military tech with Iran beause hey have every incentive to. This is Russia and China’s chance to use a proxy (Iran) to directly damage the US, the way the US has used proxies (Ukraine/Taiwan) to damage Russia and China. It’s the perfect opportunity for Russia/China to test their systems directly against the US for which they were created for.

- If Iran fucks America’s shit up, all the wars around the world will fizzle out, and it’ll be over. For anyone thinking that Iran is doomed, Iran WON the 12-day war against Israel last year, and simply played along with the US to get a ceasefire hoping that it would be the end of “regime change” bullshit, but now that it’s clear that Israel will never leave them alone, Iran has no reason to make a deal or agree to another ceasefire.

- The US will use its stealth bombers first. If those are shot down due to China’s new radar technology, the US may use “tactical nukes”. The US has stated today that there is no “gentlemen’s agreement” with Russia to comply with nuclear treaties now that they’ve been allowed to expire. I know Halsey scoffed at the US using nukes, but if the stealth bombers don’t work, nukes are the only card they have to play; they have to admit defeat, and not just against Iran, but EVERYWHERE.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/no-gentlemens-agreement-russia-continue-compliance-new-start-treaty-top-official

- Lastly, Trump does not have Congress’s permission to go to war with Iran. If Iran fucks the US military up, it’s the end of Trump. They’ll throw him under the bus and blame him for everything, and not unjustifiably so. A disappointing end to a disappointing orange.

- So the bottom line is that we’re still in the eternal “we’ll see” mode as we wait for the deciding battle between the Regime and BRICS. There are a lot of scenarios that could play out, but there’s no point really analyzing them because they more or less lead to the exact same outcome, which is hyperinflation and civil war.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 17th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s survival segment, I’m going to revisit a product I mentioned before because it’s 38% off on Amazon right now, currently under $30, and normally $45. This is a “tabletop fire pit” rocket stove that can be used to burn twigs, trash, or whatever to produce heat and cooking fuel. It’s small and portable, and nearly 40% off right now. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CLNY6LTG

- Let’s now return to our empire collapsing, already in progress:

- There are only two issues worth paying attention to: Iran and Silver.
- Iran: The US is bringing over 1/3rd of its Navy to the Middle East to threaten Iran, and Iran’s IRGC claims that the US has staged nuclear weapons in Saudi Arabia. The message is clear: surrender or die, but this is ALWAYS what the Regime was going to do. If Iran cucks, then the exact same “surrender or die” scenario will play out all over BRICS until it's Russia and China’s turn to “surrender or die”. The US (and Israel) are starting these wars, and then threatening BRICS countries with nukes if they don’t let them win. Iran has been attacked multiple times by both the US and Israel, and BRICS will have to draw a line in the sand somewhere, and if that line isn’t drawn in Iran, BRICS will get weaker as its allies abandon it to avoid suffering the same fate as Iran, which will leave Russia and China isolated and vulnerable. I’ve been saying this was the plan since 2023, and nothing has changed.
source: https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/videos/international/saudi-nuclear-armed-state-ex-irgc-officials-shocking-claim-amid-iran-us-nuke-talks/videoshow/128188331.cms , https://gulfnews.com/world/mena/us-navy-makes-staggering-mideast-force-buildup-one-third-of-deployed-fleet-now-aimed-at-iran-1.500445245

- The plan appears to be to seize Iran’s oil tankers and try to disrupt their ability to trade and economically isolate them, similarly to what happened in Venezuela, but Iran isn’t going to tolerate that. However, the Regime is going to test Iran and see if they will actually attack because, remember, their goal isn’t to destroy Iran, but for them to “make a deal” and cuck. The US will need to be militarily defeated and embarrassed, or the wars will only spread and escalate. BRICS knows what they have to do, no excuses.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/venezuelan-oil-blockade-against-iran-could-enable-us-divide-and-rule-ric , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/venezuelan-oil-blockade-against-iran-could-enable-us-divide-and-rule-ric

- The markets were closed today due to Presidents’ Day
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/markets-quiet-us-closed-presidents-day-and-china-away-new-year-newsquawk-eu-market-open

- Silver: Due to the Chinese New Year, silver is down to $76, which is a long way from $50, but we’ll see what happens after President’s Day. I’m hoping the Regime really crushes silver while China is on vacation, but if they don’t… oh well.
source: https://www.fxstreet.com/news/silver-price-forecast-xag-usd-declines-to-near-75-at-the-start-of-the-week-202602160318 , https://www.fxstreet.com/news/silver-edges-lower-as-fed-rate-cut-hopes-fade-geopolitical-tensions-persist-202602161652 , https://www.livemint.com/market/commodities/silver-inventories-on-shanghai-exchange-rise-above-350-tonnes-still-down-88-from-record-high-11771212962579.html

- The bottom line is that Iran isn’t going to surrender. Iran is willing to make a deal over their nuclear energy program, but it’s not disarming so that Israel can continue to attack it every 6 months. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens. It’s up to Trump whether he wants to push the button or not.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 16th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Today’s disaster/survival preparation equipment is a hand crank, a solar charging radio, flash light, a USB charger, and a lamp, all for less than $25. A lot of hand-crank radios are box-shaped (like radios) and have flashlights added on. The one I’m linking to is flashlight-shaped, with a radio added on. You need a flashlight for your car in case you break down at night, right? So why not get a flashlight that’s also a hand crank solar powered USB charging reading lamp and radio too? Other units are slightly cheaper, but they’re radio-shaped boxes, and I think the flashlight shape is more practical, but it doesn’t really matter which one you get. You should get this for the crank and solar charging alone, as you can use this to keep your smartphone alive in an emergency. https://www.amazon.com/Weather-3000mAh-Flashlight-Portable-Emergencies/dp/B0BC1G451Y

- Let’s return to our regular analysis:

- The Iran war is happening. There was some brief kayfabe where Trump pretended to stand up to Netanyahu and offer Iran a deal, but as I said on the show, this was the same fake deal he pulled with Hamas last year. Iran didn’t fall for it, and that plan was quickly memory-holed. Now the US and Israel are preparing to attack Iran again. The Pentagon is gaming out a “weeks-long” campaign to destroy Iran. No backing down now. Juden Vult!
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/pentagon-gaming-out-sustained-weeks-long-military-campaign-against-iran-which-could , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-regime-change-would-be-best-thing-trump-signals

- In the Ukraine War (remember that one?) Russia has taken over a dozen villages, which amounts to over 200 KM during February alone, but who cares? The Regime is about to die for Israel.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/russia-seized-dozen-ukrainian-villages-february-expanding-security-zone , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/moscow-repels-another-large-scale-ukrainian-drone-attack-flights-briefly-grounded

- The markets are closed tomorrow due to Presidents’ Day, but with the Chinese New Year happening, and Shanghai closed, the precious metals markets are getting hammered down, but still a long way from $50, but a monkey can dream, can’t he?
source: https://x.com/silvertrade/status/2023172404160201011

- Happy Chinese New Year, Valentine’s Day, International MGTOW Day, 50% Off Chocolate Day, Friday the 13th, and Die for Israel Day.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 13th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Today’s survival/emergency preparedness segment is mylar, specifically a mylar poncho. Mylar is a foil-lined plastic that retains 80% of body heat and is waterproof and windproof, and it costs $5. Mylar bags are the gold standard for keeping food dry and protected, and because the ponchos are lined with aluminum, the electronic devices you’re carrying are protected from EMFs through Feraday technology. Stay warm, dry, and potentially protect your electronic devices from electromagnetic fields, and all for $5. The only downside is that the material does not breathe, so it can get sweaty, which is why a poncho is recommended over something like a jacket. The poncho will allow air flow to carry sweat away while still retaining your body heat and keeping you dry. Here is a link where you can get 4 of them for $20, and they come in camo-green! https://www.amazon.com/Emergency-Blanket-Poncho-Survival-Equipment/dp/B0BKH8BJ3Q

- Let’s return to the financial and geopolitical analysis:

- The markets were an absolute bloodbath today, with everything selling off across the board, on a Thursday, for seemingly no reason. My hunch is that we’re about to attack Iran and all hell is going to break loose, and the insiders are being given advanced notice to sell before the crash. I could be wrong, though. We’ll see. The media is blaming this sell-off on “AI disruption”.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/commodities-crypto-crushed-tech-wreck-rolls-goldman-sees-complete-lack-willingness-btfd , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/extremely-fragile-market-traders-stunned-over-40-sp-names-tumble-3-sigma-move-today

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Bonds
o 3. Utilities
o 4. Consumer Staples
o 5. Natural Gas
o 6. Agriculture Commodities
o Everything else was down.

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Gold
o 2. Bitcoin
o 3. WTI Crude Oil
o 4. Crypto
o 5. Brent Crude Oil
o 6. Information Technology
o 7. Energy

- Gold and silver fell hard today, with the Shanghai Exchange closed for Chinese New Year. Let’s see how cheap they can make silver over the next two weeks while the Chinese party. The narrative that this crash is being caused by AI is absurd because the tech stocks are down, too.

- In geopolitics, there’s nothing new to report regarding Iran. If I were going to attack, I’d do it tomorrow (Friday) after the markets closed to give the energy markets the weekend to settle before the markets panic on Monday.

- Overexuberant analysts are claiming that Russia is about to leave BRICS and return to the US and begin using the dollar again to end the war in Ukraine. I shit you not. Russia is proposing a broad joint venture with the US involving energy in a post-Ukraine world, and Russia agreed that this joint venture would be settled in US dollars. This doesn’t mean Russia is leaving BRICS or going back to using dollars for everything. That is insane and retarded.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/dollar-detente-kremlin-memo-explores-rejoining-us-led-financial-system

- Meanwhile, back in reality, China and Russia are supporting Cuba. Since Cuba is being blockaded by the US and suffering from an energy crisis, China is expediting solar projects in Cuba that were already under construction last year to help alleviate its energy needs. Russia is sending oil with a military escort to ensure that the US doesn’t try to pirate the tankers. If I were Russia and China, I would keep my warships in the Caribbean and counter the US’s piracy, and “liberate” Venezuela.
source: https://www.reuters.com/business/environment/china-is-quietly-supplanting-russia-cubas-main-benefactor-2025-06-30/ , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/russia-send-oil-cuba-amid-us-imposed-blockade

- The bottom line is that we may attack Iran tomorrow, or maybe the Regime will continue to stall. There is a rumor that Trump wants to move another air craft carrier battle group into the region, which will take several weeks, but it could all be a feint. Iran isn’t negotiating, and the Regime isn’t going to back down. Based on the market activity, I think Iran is getting attacked tomorrow, and then the fun begins.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 12th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s survival/disaster prep segment, let’s keep things simple and obvious. You need three hand tools: a knife, an axe, and a shovel. Do not get one of those “survival knives” that have a hollow handle with some fishing line and matches in it. It sounds like a good idea, but you need a full-tang knife where the blade and handle are one piece of metal. If you get one of these hollow-handle knives, the blade will snap at the connection point of the storage handle. A regular shovel works; don’t go for fancy stuff. You need tools that are sturdy and reliable. You can replace the axe with a hatchet and the shovel with an entrenchment tool if you want to stay light and mobile, or just pack a regular ass axe and shovel if you’re staying put, but a good knife is a necessity. Don’t get a giant scary knife. Get a well-balanced full-tang knife that is comfortable in your hands. Lighter is better as long as it’s sturdy. Lastly, have tools to keep your blades sharp and to repair tools. A blunted knife or axe is useless. Here is a link to a basic camping kit of a camping axe (hatchet), entrenchment tool, and full tang knife (and flint to keep it sharp), all for $80: https://www.amazon.com/SOG-Ultimate-Camping-Kit-Entrenching/dp/B0F74P54C8

- Let’s return to our market and geopolitical analysis, such as it is:

- There isn’t much in the way of updates. We already talked about the jobs numbers on the show, and the markets are responding negatively because it could mean that the FED doesn’t cut rates because the job numbers are so good, so there’s no reason to stimulate. Of course, this is nonsense. The job numbers are fake, and the government needs rate cuts, so they will happen, but the day traders don’t understand what’s going on behind the scenes. They’re just responding to “indicators” and following charts.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/good-jobs-news-bad-news-bonds-big-tech-bitcoin-gold-gains , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-were-choppy-after-better-expected-jobs-data-pared-fed-rate-cut-bets-newsquawk , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/markets-see-two-way-action-strong-jobs-report-newsquawk-us-market-wrap , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-unexpectedly-adds-130k-jobs-january-most-2024-amid-massive-negative-revisions

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Energy
o 2. Natural Gas
o 3. Consumer Staples
o 4. Materials
o 5. Gold
o 6. WTI Crude Oil
o 7. Brent Crude Oil

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Crypto
o 2. Bitcoin
o 3. Financials
o 4. Communications Technology
o 5. The VIX
o 6. Bonds
o 7. Real Estate

- The markets are completely reversed from yesterday based on jobs data and the increased likelihood of war with Iran, but if a war doesn’t happen in the next day or two, the normies will run back to tech stocks and crypto again.

- No updates geopolitically. We’re still waiting on the war with Iran to kick off.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-threatens-send-second-carrier-near-iran , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/hegseth-makes-clear-trump-favors-negotiated-deal-iran

- The bottom line is that nothing happened today. I don’t see Trump backing down against Iran, so we’re just waiting for the word to be given and the war to begin.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 10th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s survival/disaster prep segment, let’s assume that while we’re suffering under hyperinflation with limited (or no) power, there is a war going on outside. Maybe it’s a zombie apocalypse, or maybe your city is under siege during a civil war. Modern warfare means one thing: drones. Is there anything you can stock that could protect you from a drone attack that also has multiple uses? Yes … fishing nets. Fishing nets can be used to create a drone-proof barrier that causes the propellers of small FPV drones to be tangled up, but you can also use fishing net material for storage and organization. You can also use it as camouflage if you have enough of it. You can also use the net to construct a shelter in combination with a tarp or other materials. The fishing net material can serve as a screen to allow in a breeze while preventing animals from going into your shelter. Here is a video about how fishing nets are used to protect against drone attacks in Ukraine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jxoy5mbC3o

- Now let’s return to our market and geopolitical analysis:

- Markets were up today. The normies don’t think there will be a war with Iran because it hasn’t happened yet, so they’re piling back into tech stocks. The sad reality is that when you work on Wall Street, you have to do something. You’re not allowed to play “we’ll see”. If something might happen, you panic, but if it doesn’t happen within a day or two, you have to jump back in because if you aren’t making money, you’re fired. This is why there are so many record-breaking, violent swings in the market.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/its-market-more-noise-less-signal-goldman-macro-trader-warns-rate-change-accelerating , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-green-tech-rebound-continues-newsquawk-us-market-wrap , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-extended-gains-tech-recovery-remained-intact-newsquawk-asia-pac-market-open , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/seattle-takaichi-blowouts-spark-buy-everything-day-ahead-catalyst-heavy-week , https://www.rt.com/news/632208-china-us-treasury-holdings/

- In both financial and geopolitical news, China is taking further aggressive moves, both dumping dollars and banning US bonds after the US weaponized the financial system against Iran in December, causing their markets to seize up, which caused the initial protests that Mossad used to try to overthrow the government. China won’t be alone, and this will further speed up de-dollarization and cause demand for gold and silver to rise. Gold reclaimed $5,000 today as well. I was hoping they would keep pushing it down so I could buy more silver, but we’ll see. Gold and silver aren’t making major moves, so it’s possible the manipulation earlier did its job and scared the speculators away. If silver doesn’t go down again, it’s not the end of the world as I have enough, but if it does, even better.
source: https://seekingalpha.com/article/4867841-china-may-quietly-start-dumping-even-more-us-treasuries , https://www.bostonglobe.com/2026/02/09/business/treasuries-dollar-dip-as-china-warns-on-us-bonds/ , https://www.businessinsider.com/treasury-bonds-china-holdings-us-debt-sell-america-yields-dollar-2026-2 , https://telanganatoday.com/gold-silver-surge-on-weaker-dollar-and-geopolitical-tensions

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Crypto
o 2. Gold
o 3. Information Technology
o 4. Brent Crude Oil
o 5. Materials
o 6. WTI Crude Oil
o 7. Communications Technology

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Natural Gas
o 2. The VIX
o 3. Consumer Staples
o 4. The US Dollar
o 5. Healthcare
o 6. Financials
o 7. Consumer Discretionary

- The normies are pouring back in, assuming the war with Iran is cancelled, that’s all.

- In geopolitical news, the discussions with Iran aren’t going anywhere, to nobody’s surprise. The US is demanding that Iran surrender to Israel, and Iran is telling the US to go fuck itself. Analysts that I follow believe the US will attempt a massive “shock and awe” strike and attempt to knock Iran out in a single move by using everything it can muster short of nuclear weapons, and then (assuming that fails, and it will), Israel will nuke Iran to prevent it from retaliating. We’ll just have to see. I believe a lot of these analysts are boomers who haven’t internalized what has been demonstrated in Ukraine, Yemen, and Israel over the last 5 years.
source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wi1FD-GNSMA

- The idea that the US can knock out Iran quickly before it can retaliate hinges entirely on the B2 stealth bombers, which I believe aren’t going to be as stealthy as the US is counting on, thanks to China’s radar technology. Even if Israel launches their nukes at Iran, it’s not like those nukes will be undetected and instantly hit their target. They’ll have to travel a vast distance to reach their targets, and that will give Iran ample time to unleash its entire arsenal onto Israel and the US, not to mention that Israel will be nuked by either Pakistan or Russia. The idea that BRICS will allow the Regime to aggress against their allies, and nuke them when they lose, and BRICS won’t do anything, is absurd, but that is indeed the plan it seems. Netanyahu is meeting with Trump this Wednesday, so the show may begin this week.
source: https://www.rt.com/news/632204-middle-east-on-brink-of-war/ , https://www.rt.com/news/632228-iran-nuclear-enrichment-proposal/

- The bottom line is that nothing has changed from yesterday. I’m still watching developments in Iran and the silver market, but so far nothing has happened; the week is young.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 9th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s emergency/survival equipment section, let’s begin talking about medical supplies. Obviously you will need a first aid kid, preferably a trauma kit, and know what you’re doing so you can stabilize a wound. However, since I want to talk about resources with multiple uses, let’s talk about hand sanitizer, just plain old hand sanitizer. It was hard to find during COVID, and it will likely be hard to find again. Hand sanitizer will allow you to clean your hands and sterilize cuts and scrapes without water, but because hand sanitizer is mostly alcohol, you can use it as a fuel accelerant if you need to get a fire going quickly if you don’t have proper kindling, or if you’re trying to get a fire going in doors and don’t want a lot of smoke since alcohol burns clean. Similarly to how cooking oil can be fuel and food, hand sanitizer can be fuel and medical supplies, so stock a good amount for your emergency stash.

- Netanyahu has moved his planned trip to DC up to this Wednesday, so the war will likely begin shortly after that. Iran is prepared, so we’re just waiting for the show to begin.
source: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-02-07/netanyahu-to-meet-trump-next-week-as-iran-talks-set-to-continue , https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/israels-netanyahu-expected-meet-trump-us-wednesday-discuss-iran-2026-02-07/ , https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/2/9/iran-arrests-prominent-reformists-over-deadly-january-unrest

- In the markets, Bitcoin and silver are positive on the day, so that’s bullish. The markets think the war with Iran won’t happen because nothing happened for a couple of days, which means it’ll never happen. That’s just how normies are. If something doesn’t immediately happen, they pile back into risk and assume it was a false alarm.

- The bottom line is that I’m still focused on Iran and silver. We may attack Iran this week once Netanyahu meets with Trump, we’ll see.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 6th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.
- Today’s survival equipment is a DIY sand bucket filter for cleaning water. Distilling water is still important and removes things that filter won’t catch, like dissolved chemicals and metals, but a sand filter works as well as a disposable Brita filter and lasts forever. You can make a small one using a 5-gallon bucket for personal use, or scale it up for more people. Here is a tutorial video showing how to make it: https://youtu.be/QSJsK3Y5r2s , and a video explaining how and why they work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lU81mZRd8dc. This method of water filtration has been used since medieval times and continues to be used in third-world countries that aren’t retarded dirt-cookie eaters who throw trash in the shit river. These filters are shockingly cheap, and you can clean them by removing the top layer. You don’t need to hoard a ton of water filters if you’ve got this, and it takes up less room than a bunch of water bottles and filters.

- Let’s return to the financial markets and geopolitics.

- It was a bloodbath in the markets today. A lot of analysts are trying to explain things and panicking because everything is going down: stocks, crypto, and even metals are falling. People are asking what they’re supposed to buy in this environment, and the answer is … cash. When everything is going down, it means cash is going up. Don’t expect this to last. The casino may be rigged, but the laws of economics always win. In fact, if they successfully push silver below $50, load up if you missed the boat last time. It’ll probably be your last chance.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-declined-amid-continued-tech-woes-and-weak-labour-market-metrics-newsquawk-asia , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/amazon-plunges-after-forecasting-50-surge-capex-200bn , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-sold-tech-valuations-are-questioned-yields-fall-weak-jobs-data-newsquawk-us-market , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/broadly-good-dollar-citadels-macro-gurus-ultimate-guide-implications-fed-chair-warsh , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/futures-bitcoin-gold-all-tumble-momentum-liquidations-accelerate , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/quants-multi-strat-funds-crushed-worst-day-covid-selloff

- What is the Regime’s plan here? Aren’t they supposed to be propping up the market to keep the economy going? Yes, but the rotation into metals was a direct threat to the dollar, but what else is there: crypto and the AI bubble? They need to get people investing in stocks and other dollar-denominated assets, but not silver and gold, which are in competition with the dollar. I don’t know how they plan on doing this, but step one is to bring metals down and push people into cash, so mission accomplished. What’s the next step? I’m not sure, because we’ve left the realm of market fundamentals a long time ago.
source: https://unherd.com/watch-listen/trumps-fed-chair-pick-wont-save-the-dollar/

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Bonds
o 3. Natural Gas
o 4. The US Dollar
o 5. Utilities
o 6. Agriculture Commodities
o 7. Consumer Staples

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Crypto
o 3. Materials
o 4. Gold
o 5. Consumer Discretionary
o 6. Information Technology
o 7. WTI Crude Oil

- The market is signalling a recession, but there is no way Trump allows the market to crash and for a recession to trigger during an election year, after all the manipulation and bullshit he’s done since last year to prevent this exact scenario from happening.

- In geopolitics, the plan appears to still be on for a war with Iran, despite Iran not cucking and being fully prepared for war, the US is moving EVEN MORE weapons into the region. This may actually be the Regime’s final stand. Iran isn’t going to cuck because it wouldn’t change anything. Israel wants them gone, and Iran knows that they must either fight or surrender. Russia and China have Iran’s back, and neither of them gains anything by sitting on their hands as the US destroys Iran. In fact, they have every incentive to assist Iran and defeat the Regime once and for all. Once the US has been defeated, all the wars will end simultaneously. Ukraine, Taiwan, etc., are just proxies for the United States. The US has shown they will never admit defeat and can’t be trusted in negotiations. They must be defeated, and Iran will destroy Israel, which is the “head of the snake” within the Regime. I previously predicted that while the Regime lost its empire in Ukraine, it would be killed in Israel, and so it shall be. The current talks are a joke meant to buy time for the US to move more weapons into place, and Iran knows it, and they aren’t even pretending otherwise. With the US/Russian nuclear treaties officially expired, nukes could very well be used. Either way, it’ll be over soon.
source: https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116021211049897983 , https://www.rt.com/news/632077-trump-extending-new-start-treaty/ , https://www.rt.com/russia/632016-lavrov-iran-us-talks/ , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/uncharted-territory-us-russia-now-have-no-limits-nuclear-weapons

- The only other geopolitical news of note is that Panama used their Supreme Court to void a contract with China in order to allow the US to bid for the Panama Canal. I have no idea if the government of Panama caved due to the kidnapping of Moduro, or if they simply took a bribe, and it ultimately doesn’t matter. Panama doesn’t believe BRICS can defend them as they failed to defend Venezuela. If they turn things around in South America with Cuba, then maybe these countries will come back, but you can’t blame them for cutting a deal to prevent regime change. This is another reason Iran must win.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/billions-chinese-investment-flee-panama-beijing-livid-over-canal-ports-decision

- So the bottom line is that we’re waiting for the Regime’s last stand against Iran. It will likely go nuclear, and if it does, so be it. I applaud BRICS for attempting to avoid nuclear war, and we should hope for the best while preparing for the worst. As far as the markets go, the market is crying for a reset, but that won’t happen during an election year, especially not with Israel on the line. Use the opportunity to prepare, and if metals are pushed down enough, buy more, but stay out of the futures market. The futures market is AIDS.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 5th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Today, let’s talk about something everyone needs and can get right now for free, which are apps that allow you to access information if the internet goes down or if your phone loses its connection. Combine these apps with a solar recharger (https://www.amazon.com/FlexSolar-Ports-0-8lbs-Waterproof-dustproof-Compatible/dp/B0FMF64NV5), and you are good to go. I previously talked about using a durable laptop and a thumb drive, but a smartphone is much smaller and multifunctional. It’s something you’ll have on you anyway, so why use a redundant laptop?

- Here is a website listing some of the best prepper apps, including apps that have offline functionality, which include logistical management, emergency information, offline maps, first aid and medical references, foraging and plant identification apps, survival guides, etc.: https://mrsurvivalist.com/best-prepper-apps-mobile-tools-for-survival/

- Some other resources not listed on that prepper list are apps like Kiwix, which allows you to access Wikipedia offline. Yes, Wikipedia is woke, but its political nonsense is restricted to political topics, not medical information and other useful things that don’t have a political angle. Another app is Termux, which allows you to emulate Linux and download a lightweight version of Deepseek or Kimi to run on your phone via Ollama. There’s also Bitchat, which allows your phone to be Meshtastic compatible and communicate without a central network, although it uses Bluetooth and is nowhere near as good as Meshtastic itself.
o Kiwix: https://kiwix.org/en/applications/
o Termux and Ollama: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utWcC43Vjak
o Bitchat: https://bitchat.free/

- I haven’t personally messed around with these apps yet, but I’m very interested in setting up a local AI on a phone, but I don’t have a spare one at the moment. The next time I trade in my phone, I’ll keep my old phone and use it as my local AI phone, which will also have full Wikipedia as well as all the prepper apps. Make sure you get a durable case for it to keep it safe, and get a solar recharger so you can keep it powered if the grid goes down or even if you’re just camping with a bad signal.

- Alright, back to the news!

- Iran said it would negotiate the nuclear program, but their ballistic missile program and support for Hamas and Hezbollah are not up for discussion. The US said that it was “this or nothing”, and Iran said, “Ok, then nothing”. Iran just doesn’t care. They’ve truly reached “fuck it”, and it’s glorious. They’re not even humoring the US with useless talks that will go nowhere, like Russia is. I honestly don’t know what the Regime will do because they can’t win, but Iran isn’t playing along and letting them stall. We’re in uncharted waters here, folks. Update: The US cucked and agreed to Iran’s demands. Womp womp.
source: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/feb/04/us-iran-talks-risk-collapse-oman-move-rejected , https://www.iranintl.com/en/202602041548 , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/netanyahu-tells-us-envoys-iran-cannot-be-trusted-if-deal-reached , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-warns-bad-things-if-no-iran-deal-reached-venue-moves-oman

- In other geopolitical news, as the old Cold War nuclear treaties expire, Russia is reaching out to coordinate with China since the US doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to extend the treaties. The US is likely going to try to use nukes (or threaten to) to gain leverage since they literally have nothing else to turn to. Russia should put nukes in Cuba in case the US threatens Russia. I don’t see a scenario where the Regime accepts defeat, and with nukes being their only asset, nuclear treaties expiring tomorrow with no indication that the Regime wants to extend them, and it’s obvious they plan on leveraging nuclear weapons in some way to force BRICS to let them win, hence why Russia should stage nukes in Cuba as a countermeasure and bargaining chip. It’s literally how Russia got the US to remove nuclear weapons from Turkey during the Cold War.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/putin-notifies-xi-new-start-status-trump-ready-let-go-nuclear-arms-control-russia

- In the markets, the winners today were:
o 1. Natural Gas
o 2. The VIX
o 3. Energy
o 4. Materials
o 5. Real Estate
o 6. Consumer Staples
o 7. Healthcare

- The losers today were:
o 1. Crypto
o 2. Bitcoin
o 3. Information Technology
o 4. Communications Technology
o 5. Utilities
o 6. S&P 500 Index
o 7. Bonds

- Nothing is happening in the markets; it’s just the same old, same old.

- Tech fell today, but promises of more CAPEX based on phantom money is lifting certain names like Google. The tech bubble continues.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-indices-finished-mostly-lower-continued-tech-woes-semiconductors-hit-newsquawk , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/google-goes-wild-after-hours-after-beating-estimates-projecting-mindblowing-capex , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/worst-day-momentum-2022-wall-streets-top-traders-explain-why-everything-suddenly-blew

- There is more volatility in precious metals, but nothing new to report.
source: https://www.bullionvault.com/gold-news/gold-price-news/gold-silver-china-020420261 , https://www.bullionvault.com/gold-news/gold-price-news/gold-silver-china-020420261

- The bottom line is that the markets are still in limbo with the AI bubble, and precious metals markets amount to so many plates the government is trying to keep spinning while they try to hold their empire together. However, with Iran standing up to them and calling their bluff, and the nuclear treaties from the Cold War expiring, the Regime probably has one more trick up its sleeve before they fall. I don’t know what the Regime is planning, but it’s going to involve nuclear weapons because that’s all they have at this point.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 3rd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- I was going to talk about meat curing today, but part of the curing process requires keeping the meat below 60 degrees during the curing process to prevent spoilage, and so I began researching how this was done in ancient times. Before refridgeration people used basements and root cellars to keep the temperature lower to keep food cool. However, not everyone has access to a basement or root cellar, and I learned about something really cool (literally) called a Zeer Pot, or a Pot-in-Pot Refrigerator.

- Remember when we turned two terra-cotta flower pots into a candle-powered heater? Well, the Zeer pot works based on similar but opposite principles and is ALSO made using two flower pots. You put the smaller pot inside the larger pot with sand in between them. Wet the sand, allowing the sand to soak in as much water as possible without getting any water into the innerpot. As the water in the sand evaporates, it will pull heat away from the inner pot, cooling it down better than a mini fridge, but it works best in dry environments and not humid ones. This energy-less refrigerator method has been used for thousands of years and goes back to ancient Egypt. It cools the inner pot 30-40 degrees compared to the ambient temperature, but only 5-15 degrees in high humidity. A basement or root cellar is best, but if those aren’t available, a Zeer Pot is better than nothing.

- You don’t need any special equipment, just some large flower pots and some sand. For foods that require ventilation, cover the inner pot with a wet cloth or towel rather than a lid. Here are some videos showing how they’re made and how they work, but they’re essentially glorified igloo coolers, and instead of ice packs, they’re powered by evaporating wet sand: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G03XdPvBe_E , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nctr9xJIxUs

- The only downside to Zeer pots is that they require large pots, and they’re very heavy. They’re more mobile than a basement or root cellar, but they’re made for homesteading, not mobility. They also use a lot of water since they work via evaporation, but the water doesn’t need to be drinkable, so even unfiltered water will work. There might even be a way to harness the evaporative effect during distillation to simultaneously purify your water and create a cooling effect for food preservation. Waste not, want not.

- Let’s return to our regularly scheduled market and geopolitical analysis:

- The most important thing is that now that Iran, Russia, and China called the Regime’s bluff and didn’t cuck, the Regime looks like it’s seriously going to negotiate a deal with Iran rather than nuke them (because Israel will be nuked back, either by Russia or Pakistan). This is good because it means the Regime has lost, and WW3 may have been avoided. I’m sure Mossad is looking for some angle to defeat Iran, but there isn’t one. Their only chance was for Iran, Russia, and China to continue to cooperate and cuck to avoid war. All they have to do to win is stand up to the Regime, which has now happened. The next shoe to drop will either be a false flag in order to attempt to gin up support for WW3, but this is a stupid plan, and wouldn’t work anyway. The only move the Regime really has is to finally take the L, sit down with Russia and China, and accept the multipolar world.
source: https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/iran-examines-diplomacy-with-us-hopes-results-coming-days-official-says-2026-02-02/ , https://www.timesofisrael.com/liveblog_entry/amid-reports-of-planned-direct-us-iran-talks-witkoff-to-arrive-in-israel-tomorrow-to-meet-pm-and-zamir/ , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-concedes-iran-seriously-talking-us-ayatollah-says-we-dont-seek-attack-any

- The Regime is still trying to get people not to buy Russian energy. The EU has issued a total ban on Russian gas, causing members of the EU to sue, and most surprisingly of all, India has agreed to stop buying Russian energy and import American energy from the other side of the world. Did Trump threaten to deport all the Indians if they didn’t comply? India is going to bankrupt their economy, and it’s in the middle of Asia, surrounded by Russia and China next door. India is most likely scamming the US, trying to set something, but won’t keep up their end of the bargain. I just don’t see how they expect to be dependent on US energy while being geographically in the heart of Asia. It makes zero logistical sense, but maybe we’ll learn more later.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/energy-suicide-slovak-pm-fico-sue-after-brussels-issues-total-ban-russian-gas , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/trump-lowers-india-tariffs-modi-stops-buying-russian-oil-will-cut-tariffs-zero-buy-american

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Consumer Staples
o 2. Industrials
o 3. Financials
o 4. Materials
o 5. Consumer Discretionary
o 6. Information Technology
o 7. Healthcare

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Natural Gas
o 2. Bitcoin
o 3. The VIX
o 4. WTI Crude Oil
o 5. Brent Crude Oil
o 6. Broad Commodities
o 7. Gold

- Since a massive regional war in the Middle East (and possibly WW3) is far less likely than it was a few days ago, markets are stabilizing.

- Economically, nothing has changed. The AI bubble is still a bubble. Metals are not going to stay low much longer because the fundamentals haven’t changed. The speculation about the new FED chair being a hawk who won’t cut rates is retarded and nonsensical when the government needs lower rates. The media is trying to combat the observable reality with propaganda to manipulate normie sentiment, but it’s like taking a thermometer and putting it in ice water to cover up the fact that you are sick with the flu with a temperature of 110 degrees. You’re still sick, but you’re lying because you don’t want people to know how sick you are. Some people will see your manipulated temperature and be relieved, but those who know can look at you and see you’re clearly seriously ill. Nothing has changed.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/private-credit-stocks-crash-after-shock-report-reveals-huge-exposure-collapsing-software , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/when-will-gold-and-silver-bounce-worlds-top-precious-metal-traders-share-their-views , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/crypto-stocks-rebound-all-glitters-sold-again

- So the bottom line is that as far as the markets are concerned, nothing has changed. We’re still waiting for the house of cards the government is propping up to tumble down. As far as the geopolitical situation, the Regime has been checkmated, and that’s a good thing. I’m sure the Jews are seething, and Netanyahu is making another trip to DC soon, so I’m sure if there will be an attack on Iran and WW3, it will be discussed then, but there is no path forward for the Regime. There is only accepting defeat graciously, or getting nuked because you couldn’t accept defeat. I’m curious about how this India deal is supposed to work because it makes no sense, even on paper. My gut tells me India is scamming America, which is pretty par for the course for their kind, so it tracks.

Monkey’s Market Minute: February 2nd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Before we talk about today’s survival preparation segment, I have seen people pointing out my “argument” with Revy, who has van life’d for years and who disagrees with me about what equipment to buy. He favors camping gear for mobility, while I favor homestead equipment for community. Some people said I was wrong, and I should defer to Revy, but it depends on your situation. I’m in my 40s, and I have arthritis. My dreams of being a Wasteland Warlord died, and I have to make peace with the fact that my best days are behind me. If you’re young and you want to be Billy Badass, by all means, prioritize mobility and personal utility by leaning heavily towards camping and tactical equipment, but I’m leaning towards community because I can’t be Billy Badass with rheumatoid arthritis in my 40s. Keep that in mind as I talk about these segments that I’m prioritizing homesteading/community and not mobility/badassery.

- So far, we’ve covered fuel, water, and heat. Now let’s talk about food, specifically how to preserve food without power or refrigeration, and that’s where canning comes in. You’re going to need mason jars … lots and lots of mason jars, and the good news is that mason jars are incredibly cheap and versatile. The basics of canning are pretty simple: You use acidity and heat to kill bacteria and preserve food at room temperature. Fruits become jams and jellies, vegetables become sauces and pickles, and you can even preserve meat with canning. You can combine canning with a garden or small farm, and you’ve got a renewable source of food and tradable goods that won’t just keep you alive for 6 months or a year, but can scale and feed an entire community.

- All the materials you need to learn are cheap and versatile. You can use mason jars for infinite storage solutions. If you need a container for literally anything, there’s a mason jar for that, and they’re stylish and practical. There are also a lot of lids with bespoke uses that are compatible with any mason jar of the same size, turning these simple jars into tools. There is an entire culture around canning and mason jars, and for good reason. If you eat any of the following foods, you should learn canning and make these yourself:

o Salsa
o Tomato Sauce
o Pickled vegetables
o Jams/Jellies
o Beef Stew
o Applesauce
o Canned meat (including chicken, fish, beef, and pork)
o Soups/Stocks

- not only to save money and hone your skills, but also because they’ll be fresher and more nutritious without all the chemicals and preservatives that industrial companies use. There is no downside. You need to learn these skills so you can maintain a steady food supply. It will save you money and pay for itself, and it will make you a valuable member of whatever community you find yourself in should the worst happen.

- In addition to pickling, there are kits for using mason jars for fermentation: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0714PZ8DL, which is a separate process, but be aware that fermented vegetables require refrigeration, so pickling is better for emergency supplies instead of fermentation, but you can do both, and as I said, mason jars are absurdly versatile. You will need to get some books with “recipes” so you know exactly how much water, salt, vinegar, etc. to use to make various dishes safetly, and you’ll need a scale to measure out these ingredients, but once you get the hang of it, you will never have to worry about surviving on your dehydrated beans and rice alone like a lot of preppers plan on doing. Here is a book from Ball, which is the mason jar brand I got from Walmart, with a complete guide for canning and preserving: https://www.amazon.com/Ball-Complete-Book-Home-Preserving/dp/0778805107

- As a final note, I know that the products you can make using canning and mason jars are not expensive at all, and you wouldn’t be saving THAT much money, but I strongly suggest you at least learn the ropes and make a few things that you regularly eat just to learn the process and be comfortable with it so that if there is an emergency, the supply chains are cut, the grocery stores are empty, and there is no power or refrigeration, you can make these staple foods yourself.

- Silver in Shanghai was selling for $135.73, a 67.29% premium over the paper price of the COMEX, and metal has begun moving from West to East, closing the arbitrage to less than $20 by the end of the day. As metals begin leaving Western markets for the Shanghai market, Western industries are going to scream until Trump imposes export controls, and he’ll have to increase mining output to meet domestic demand. Hang on to your butts.
source: https://x.com/wmiddelkoop/status/2018130848600515028 , https://x.com/TheMetalCharts/status/2018147817793929420 , https://x.com/profitsplusid/status/2018009235888730190

- Despite the volatility, Wall Street is bullish on metals, and so am I. The only thing that will reverse the inflation and prevent the stagflation is if the government stops printing money and ends the wars, which isn’t going to happen voluntarily.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/hartnett-great-gold-bull-markets-are-only-ended-even-greater-events

- Bitcoin shit the bed today, all crypto did. Everyone is shorting everything as if the world is ending because we’re about to attack Iran and trigger WW3 for Israel.
source: https://www.investing.com/news/cryptocurrency-news/bitcoin-price-today-slips-to-77k-near-10mth-low-amid-liquidations-fed-caution-4477764

- There is a rumor that Israel is preparing to nuke Iran since they can’t win any other way, but they’re worried that there might be consequences and that they might be nuked back (hint: they will). This is causing Israel to panic a bit because they never expected Iran and China/Russia to call their bluff. Their entire retarded plan was to just attack and overthrow, and they seriously expected everyone to do nothing and let it happen because they’re pussies. That cope should have already died with Iran, Russia, and China didn’t cuck, but I don’t see the Regime admitting it’s over and taking the L, so they will probably nuke Iran.
source: https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/115997695418448206

- So the bottom line is that, like I said on the show, Iran calling the Regime’s bluff, and Russia and China sending their navies, means the Regime has lost. Their only path to victory was for Russia and China to endlessly cuck and let them do what they wanted to avoid war. Now the Regime has one final choice to make: They can launch their nukes out of spite in an “If I can’t have it, no one can” final move, or they can accept that it’s over and stop. Right now, the Regime doesn’t want to accept that it’s over and will try to continue to stall rather than negotiate, but now that their bluff has been called, there are no roads that lead to victory, only defeat or mutual annihilation.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-concedes-iran-seriously-talking-us-ayatollah-says-we-dont-seek-attack-any

- If Israel nukes Iran, that might be the quickest solution to a lot of our problems. Israel will be destroyed, the Muslim world will be destroyed, and many major cities throughout the West will be nuked via the Samson Option, and all the shitlibs and immigrants will be killed because they all live in the cities. So no matter what, things are going to be alright.

Monkey’s Market Minute: January 30th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Today’s emergency preparedness item is related to food, medicine, and heat. I’m talking about … terra cotta flower pots. First, you need flower pots to grow medicinal herbs and small plants for food. Many plants may not be suitable for being outdoors based on your climate, so having some flower pots indoors will allow you to grow more varieties of plants than just from your garden alone. However, why did I mention heat? I’m building out these tips with things you need, but also things that have multiple uses and build on each other. You can use terra cotta flower pots to turn candles into radiant heaters. If you light a candle, it will provide light, but not much heat because heat rises, so all the heat from the candle will go straight ot the ceiling. However, if you put the candle under a terra cotta pot, it will heat the terra cotta to over 200 degrees in 30 minutes, and that heat will radiate throughout the room. If you own a ceramic heater, they work really well, and this is simply an electric-less version of a ceramic heater. You can buy a specialized ceramic candle heater for heating tea, but the whole point of this series is to give you simple products with multiple everyday uses that you can use right now instead of stocking them in your basement alongside those dehydrated meals you’ll never use. Coconut oil can be used for cooking, and to make candles and soap. The distiller/steam juicer can be used to purify water and preserve fruit without refrigeration, but it is also a double-boiler that you can just use right now to melt foods like chocolate and cheese without burning them. It’s not JUST an emergency supply product; it’s a product you can use today to save money, and it is essential in an emergency.

- Terra cotta flower pots are another such product. You need them anyway. You should have a garden and begin growing plants today, even just as a hobby. I grow fresh basil to use with my steaks, for example. I’ve tried planting other food crops, and most have failed, but I’m learning. Don’t wait until shit pops off to begin learning. You need to have a base level of skill in these now so that when your life depends on them, you’re ready, and in the meantime, you save money and could even sell the things you produce as a side hustle.

- Here is a link to a flower pot candle heater on Amazon which is selling for $50 and is obviously just a couple flower pots and some hardware that you can buy at the hardware store for half the price: https://www.amazon.com/Radiator-Creative-Double-Walled-Tealight-Candles/dp/B0C3B6PPQ9 However, you don’t actually need the hardware or anything fancy unles you want to paint it up and make it a product (which apparently people will pay $50 for). You can just prop up a couple of flower pots on anything. All you really need are candles and flower pots, and you have a radiant heater. Here is a video proving it works and how easy it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GV23gAO7F8E , and a video using a cooking oil candle, which claims to burn for 72 days: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnNHM4OLkvE

- So that’s it, just buy some terra cotta flower pots, use them to grow stuff, and if you need heating, you can repurpose them into radiant heaters, or use some hardware from the hardware store to turn them into $50 candle heaters and sell them to people.

- The US is apparently having second thoughts regarding Iran. The plan was to blockade and seize Iranian ships, or conduct limited strikes, and count on everyone making a deal to make it stop while avoiding total war, but Iran said they aren’t playing that. If the US attacks them in any way, they’re going to declare total war on the US and Israel, and they will destroy everything. Trump is now pivoting to Cuba, and the Iran thing may be quietly memory-holed since the US has no answer for this. They were counting on everyone just letting them do whatever they wanted and being too afraid of war to push back, but Iran didn’t cuck like they hoped, and there’s nobody they can bribe to turn off the air defenses and let them win because those people were already rounded up and killed. Either Trump cucks or Trump goes ahead with the strike, but I predict he’ll cuck because Israel will be destroyed if he moves ahead. Iran found the Regime’s weak spot, which is Israel. If you threaten to destroy Israel, and the Regime knows you’re serious, they’ll back down. I hope Russia and China are taking notes.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/erdogan-urges-trump-let-him-mediate-iran-crisis-amid-fears-refugee-explosion , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/saudi-israeli-officials-swarm-dc-trump-weighs-iran-strike-options , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/eu-poised-label-irgc-terror-org-boosting-potential-trump-strikes-iran

- Trump is bragging that he got Putin to stop attacking Kiev for a week because the people have no heat, and it’s the middle of winter, and Putin agreed. If I were him, I’d be a smart ass and attack other major cities and destroy other targets outside of Kiev, and then destroy the Kiev targets exactly one week from today, but that’s just me.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/unprecedented-trump-gets-putin-halt-strikes-kiev-1-week-call , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/kremlin-exasperated-key-nuclear-treaty-expires-next-week-crickets-us-side

- There are unconfirmed reports that Russia and China are sending their own fleets to Iran to “conduct live fire naval drills” with Iran (wink wink, nudge nudge). If this is true, Trump and Israel really fucked up.
source: https://x.com/DD_Geopolitics/status/2016898750631805229 , https://x.com/Megatron_ron/status/2016925768853475333

- In the markets, everything crashed, and then gold and silver recovered, and then fell again. The US is throwing trillions of dollars at trying to suppress commodity prices globally. The price of gold and silver isn’t set by the COMEX, it’s set in Shanghai. The COMEX contracts are just paper contracts for cash settlement anyway. There is no physical silver, and those who actually need silver are going to pay the actual market price for it, including in the US. Losing an empire is like falling in love: it happens slowly, then all at once.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/bitcoin-battered-everything-else-bounces-back-early-bloodbath , https://x.com/KobeissiLetter/status/2017007827731259426 , https://x.com/KobeissiLetter/status/2017057640900137085 , https://x.com/GlobalMktObserv/status/2016881521714450742

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Natural Gas
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. The VIX
o 4. Brent Crude Oil
o 5. Communications Technology
o 6. Broad Commodities
o 7. Real Estate

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Crypto
o 3. Information Technology
o 4. Consumer Discretionary
o 5. Healthcare
o 6. S&P 500 Index
o 7. The US Dollar
- Gold was positive too on the day, despite the volatility.

- So the bottom line is that we’ll see if Trump pulls the trigger or not on Iran. If the B2s don’t work, Israel will likely nuke Iran. On the off chance that Iran cucks, then this playbook will eventually be repeated against Russia and China. Even though BRICS has been winning, you can’t just sit around and let the US and Israel overthrow your allies while you back down because you’re afraid of war. This is the only way the Regime wins. I’ve been saying this since 2023. They can’t win until BRICS cucks. I see no evidence of Iran cucking, and once a single country calls their bluff, the Regime loses. Is today the day? We’ll see.

Monkey’s Market Minute: January 29th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Today’s disaster preparation segment is an important one: water. There are lots of ways to purify water using filters, tablets, boiling, etc. However, all of these have shortcomings; even boiling won’t remove metals or chemicals from water, but distillation works when all other methods fail. I did some research, and the distiller I recommend is actually a steam juicer, which can be used as a water distiller by removing the colander pot, putting the lid on top, and placing another pot full of cold water on top to aid in condensation. There is another (more expensive) distiller that has a condensation pot instead of a colander pot, but the colander pot allows you to make juice from literally anything. In fact, you can make essential oils from flowers and wood using the steam juicer, which will aid in your candle-making from the other day. You can use the juice to make drinkable juices like apple cider, homemade country jelly, and vinegar. There are specialized distiller kits to make alcohol, but those require temperature control and are more complicated, making alcohol a premium tradable good in a hyperinflationary scenario. You’ll need a basic distiller to purify water, and this can also make juice. Once you get the hang of it, you can get a separate alcohol distillation kit and make wine and whiskey. Plant grapes on your homestead, and harvest them for free, infinite juice, jelly, and wine that you can enjoy long out of season without refrigeration or power.

- Here is a link to the steam juicer I bought if you’re interested: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B2CJNNU?smid=A14WB5G0AJDLHQ , and here is a video tutorial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieJUuRXVHN0 Please note that you’ll need a canning tub and some mason jars if you want to preserve them without refrigeration, but I’m recommending all of this because you need a way to purify water reliably anyway, and having a solution that has multiple uses is much better than the alternatives. Being able to use your water purification solution to make juice, jelly, syrup, and wine is just a bonus. All of these not only preserve otherwise very perishable fruit, but they can be traded, especially the alcohol, and in a hyperinflation/collapse scenario, being the guy who can make alcohol makes you popular and valued in the community. Here is a video of someone distilling water using an alcohol distiller. You can use an alcohol distiller for everything, but it has many more moving parts, but they’re not expensive, so it’s better to get both a basic distillation kit and a separate alcohol one if you want to make alcohol, so that if the fancy parts fail, you can still make water: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ21fMMg2LM

- In the markets, the FED didn’t cut rates as expected. The market “shrugged” as gold hit new all-time highs.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/market-shrugs-fed-dollar-bounces-bessent-sp-stalls-gamma-wall-after-record-high , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/fomc-34

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Gold
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Brent Crude Oil
o 4. Broad Commodities
o 5. Information Technology
o 6. Energy
o 7. The US Dollar

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Natural Gas
o 2. Real Estate
o 3. Consumer Staples
o 4. Healthcare
o 5. Consumer Discretionary
o 6. Industrials
o 7. Bonds

- Nothing really to report since yesterday. We’re still waiting on Trump to begin the war with Iran and launch an energy crisis for no reason.

- In geopolitics, Marco Rubio is saying we must “preemptively prevent” Iran from attacking the US by attacking Iran first, but in a way that allows us to pretend that attacking first is defensive, because they’re “preemptively preventing” Iran from attacking. It’s just stupid at this point. Irah says there will be no talks and that they’re “200% ready” to defend themselves. It doesn’t sound like they’re going to cuck to me.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/war-drums-gulf-us-armada-patrols-saudi-arabia-uae-deny-airspace-access , https://www.rt.com/news/631668-iran-warns-us-response/

- So the bottom line is that we’re once again waiting for the US to start another war. Iran is extremely heavily armed with top-shelf weapons from Russia and China, who have every incentive to arm Iran because it allows them to test their weapons directly against the US with clean hands. Everyone is underestimating Iran, and they’re likely to rely heavily on B2 stealth bombers to bypass Iranian air defenses, but Iran has the Chinese quantum radar that is supposed to be able to detect stealth fighters, and if the B2 are destroyed, the Regime has no answer for that, as that was their “ace in the hole” wonder weapon.

- Well, we know they’re going to attack Iran because Israel wills it, but they’re hesitating. It’s very telling that Iran isn’t playing along with their false diplomacy anymore. They’re just telling them that they’re ready for them; there will be no talks, so the move is on Trump to signal the attack and see how the dice land.

Monkey’s Market Minute: January 27th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s survivalist prep section, I was going to talk about water, but I got asked about the cooking oil from yesterday. Some people were having trouble finding stoves that work with coconut oil, and they wanted help, as most stoves run on petroleum gas or wood. So here’s the deal: if you’re looking for a stove for home, get a basic wood-burning stove, which not only provides heat, but the top can be used to cook. Wood is cheaper and more plentiful than burning oil, but if you’re on the go or don’t have access to a wood-burning stove, you can use camping stove and a candle made out of any fuel you want (including cooking oil). You can make these as needed from literal trash, so you don't need to stock these. You can boil water by making enough candles to cover the bottom surface of the pot or kettle. Candles are surprisingly hot. To make a coconut oil candle, you just need a glass or metal container, a wick, and something to hold the wick in place. You can recycle some trash (i.e., used soda cans for the container and wick holder) for everything you need except the wick. The wick just has to be 100% cotton cord, so get some rope (which is handy to have anyway) or even butcher’s twine (which is handy to have anyway), and you have everything you need to make a candle for all your light, heat, and cooking needs. Here is a video of a very basic camping stove that can run on twigs or anything: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/GVzIwtsBVWw , https://www.amazon.com/Solo-Stove-Lite-Compact-Backpacking/dp/B007DBD3IU , and here is a tutorial about how to make a multi-wick stove candle using oil and a tuna fish can (i.e., literally trash): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EaA6xKacWY

- As you can see, you're not stocking a bunch of fancy prepper gear that’s going to rot in your basement for 20 years. This is all shit you can and should be using in your everyday life, and with a little creativity, can be used in an emergency to save your life. You should have cooking oil anyway. You should have cans of food anyway. You should have cotton cord or butcher’s twine anyway, and you can combine the things you have and make a candle to provide light, heat, and cooking fuel, and because it’s not wood, it’s not going to fill your house with smoke and carbon monoxide. Just remember that when cooking, you need multiple candles (or candles with multiple wicks) to spread the heat across the surface area of the pot or kettle in order to boil the water. Virgin coconut oil burns more slowly than refined coconut oil and has a pleasant coconut smell when it’s melted and burned. Bored housewives make craft candles out of coconut oil for this reason and sell them on Etsy. A 6-oz artisan coconut oil candle goes for about $11. So you can make these as a hobby and sell them for profit, or if you’re the kind of guy who buys scented candles or wax melts (no judgment, it’s not gay to enjoy smelling nice), you can make your own candles instead of buying them from the store for 10+ dollars a pop. BTW, the smoke from paraffin candles can cause cancer, whereas coconut oil does not, so if you’re a health nut, there you go. If you want fancy scents, you’ll have to source your own fragrance oils for your candles, though, but it could be a nice side hustle and a way to meet women, who knows? Bitches love scented candles.

- Alright, I think that covers everything. If you have more questions, let me know, but the rule of thumb is that camping and disaster survival are essentially the same thing, so most of the equipment you want is glorified camping gear, and it’s not expensive.
- Alright, let’s return to our market and geopolitical analysis d commentary:
- Silver crashed, losing all of it’s gains on Sunday, then swung back again after the markets closed in a face-melting $2 Trillion swing in 14 hours! This is what you call a government-engineered crash, and the markets are going “nope” and reversing it. There will likely be another crash tomorrow, and the government has infinite money, so if the government successfully causes silver to crash, it might be time to load up if you haven’t already. Tomorrow is COMEX OPEX (commodities exchange options expiration), so they’re going to desperately try to crash the price, but it will very likely roar back shortly thereafter.
source: https://x.com/KobeissiLetter/status/2015992070272630965 , https://x.com/TFMetals/status/2015873941081125140

- There is also a rumor that the US is going to bail out Japan, which will severely weaken the dollar and make metals go up even more, and this is why a lot of insiders who aren’t known to speculate on foreign currencies have all started buying Yen recently. However, it’s not confirmed yet, so maybe it doesn’t happen, or maybe they’re worried about the consequences of this during an election year. It’s almost like everything is fucked, and all you can do is stall as the fires begin to multiply.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/rate-check-and-yen-heres-how-trade-coordinated-global-currency-intervention , https://www.ft.com/content/ff87c253-7d99-4789-9a58-5dda25089805 , https://www.forbes.com/sites/johnhyatt/2026/01/21/japanese-market-turbulence-yields-an-unexpected-winner-warren-buffett/

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Natural Gas
o 2. Gold
o 3. Broad Commodities
o 4. Bonds
o 5. Information Technology
o 6. Utilities
o 7. Communications Technology

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Crypto
o 3. Consumer Discretionary
o 4. WTI Crude Oil
o 5. The US Dollar
o 6. Brent Crude Oil
o 7. Materials

- I just want to point out that I’ve noticed, and I hope you’ve noticed, that the gold bugs have been far more gracious and less obnoxious than the cryptards ever were. I want to believe crypto is on its way out, but the government is counting on stablecoins to bail out the bond market, so I expect the government is going to breathe new life into the bubble again somehow.

- Nothing new to report geopolitically. Trump cucked against the Left in Minneapolis, blaming ICE and Border Patrol and throwing them under the bus. Iran was making fun of the riots and shootings happening in Minneapolis after the failed Iranian riots a few weeks ago, so maybe Trump wanted to end the growing crisis so he could focus on Iran. Serving Israel is more important than domestic issues.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/irgc-has-finger-trigger-us-carrier-strike-group-enters-waters-near-iran , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iranian-state-tv-urges-americans-rise-lauds-minneapolis-protests-instant-karma

- The bottom line is that nothing is really happening that we haven’t already talked about. We’re still waiting on the Iran war to kick off, and we’re still headed towards a Stagflationary depression, hyperinflation, and civil war. The markets are going nuts because of a COMEX OPEX, and Trump cucked to Antifa. You can collect your “Fell for it Again” awards at the door.

Monkey’s Market Minute: January 26th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- I’m going to start a new segment of the newsletter going forward. With gold and silver breaking records, we need to start “investing” in survival supplies and skills because in the next couple of years, you’re going to need them. I’ll be highlighting a material or product in each newsletter that I think you should consider based on my personal research. I’m in the same boat you are, BTW. We all need to knuckle down and prepare for the worst, so let’s talk about today’s subject: Cooking oil.

- The best cooking oil, based on versatility and shelf life, is virgin (unprocessed) coconut oil. You use it with food, make candles with it for light, burn it for heat, and it smells good when you burn it too, but coconut oil can also be used for:

o Moisturizer, aftershave, conditioner, dandruff remedy, detangler, makeup remover, toothpaste (mixed with baking soda), hemorrhoid relief, lotion for burns/scrapes/sunburns/insect bites, natural deodorant, insect repellent, and … last but not least … sexual lubricant. You can also use it to polish wood, clean stainless steel, condition cutting boards, and remove gum and sticker residue from surfaces.

o Virgin coconut oil can be obtained at Costco for less than $25 for 84 fl oz. or $0.30 per fl oz. It can be stored for far longer than any other oil (5+ years). For example, Ghee (which I personally use for cooking due to my carnivore diet) is $0.80 per fl oz. and only lasts for 1-2 years, but it’s an animal fat, so it’s better for me.

o If you process a lot of meat, you can render the fat into lard as a renewable source of cooking oil, but lard only keeps for 6-12 months without refrigeration (which you can’t rely on), so virgin coconut oil is hands-down the cooking oil you want to stock. Its only downside is that it’s not a liquid at room temperature, which means it might take a little work to transfer between containers, but that’s literally it. It’s an essential fuel with 100 uses that you can use for yourself or barter when things go to shit. Get some. According to my research, the average person needs about 1.5 oz of fuel per day, so 84 fl oz. of coconut oil will last about 2 months, and 6 cans should get you through the year at a cost of only $150, but this is the bare minimum. Stocking some extra supplies will give you wiggle room and provide a source of valuable tradeable goods.

- Alright, now let’s return to our regularly scheduled market and geopolitical commentary:

- Gold is now officially over $5,000, and silver gained 8% immediately when the commodities markets opened.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/maybe-truflation-something , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/goldman-macro-mavens-discuss-us-resilience-eu-shakeout-uk-politics-japans-wild-west , https://www.forbes.com/sites/digital-assets/2026/01/25/bitcoin-will-take-the-place-of-gold-fed-suddenly-braced-for-a-34-trillion-blackrock-price-surprise/

- Bitcoin is up on the day, but it’s down over the past 5 days. A lot of normies are losing faith in Bitcoin, especially with silver’s gains. I said before that what will finally kill Bitcoin isn’t a sudden understanding of economic fundamentals, but a new “get rich quick” scheme. 2026 is looking like it might officially be the “TFM was right about everything” year.
- In geopolitical news, the US is squeezing Cuba the same way it squeezes Venezuela, by pirating their shipping and establishing a blockade. This is an act of war, and Russia COULD do something since Cuba is a long-time ally of Russia, but will they? Perhaps. If nobody comes to Cuba’s aid, it’s only a matter of time before someone in the government cuts a deal like what happened in Venezuela.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/cuba-charges-us-imposing-marine-siege-piracy-its-oil-imports , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/blockade-infiltrate-overthrow-latin-american-nations-next-trumps-list

- Speaking of traitors and cutting deals, the Chinese general who was being investigated for corruption is being reported to have leaked nuclear secrets to the US, and I’m seeing rumors on social media that there was a planned coup attempt within China by the military, but that insiders exposed the plot. The coup narrative doesn’t seem to be backed up anywhere, but the leaking of nuclear secrets is confirmed, and could be propaganda. It’s hard to say with state control of the media as it is. If the coup attempt was real, then the US just lost a major asset in China, and China may decide to take more direct action against the Regime going forward, rather than just offer material and moral support to its allies, but again, we’ll have to see what’s real and what’s clickbait in the coming days.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/chinas-sacked-top-general-accused-leaking-nuclear-secrets-us , https://x.com/KobeissiLetter/status/2015527595975033161 , https://x.com/RLHeinrichs/status/2015527429213766036

- No updates regarding Iran or Russia at this time. The fleet is in theater and could attack at any time, and Iran is fully prepared. My hunch is that the US will try to use B2 stealth bombers to destroy Iran’s command and control and air defenses, and we’ll find out if the Chinese quantum radar that can supposedly detect stealth aircraft works or not. If the B2s fail and the quantum radar works as advertised, that was America’s last “wonder weapon”, and they’re finished in Asia. Maybe they hold onto the Americas if Russia and China abandon their allies, but based on the Regime’s behavior, I wouldn’t, especially after the assassination attempt against Putin.
source: https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/iran-mural-threatens-us-sow-033237340.html , https://interestingengineering.com/military/china-quantum-radar-us-stealth-jet , https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/donald-trumps-armada-nears-middle-36612931

- So the bottom line is that we’re still in the “we’ll see” phase. America hasn’t attacked Iran yet, and the developments in China could be huge if true, but nothing has changed. The Regime is fucked, and they have nobody to blame but themselves. I hope Netanyahu’s dick tasted like candy, or Trump destroyed the empire for nothing.

Monkey’s Market Minute: January 23rd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Israel is telegraphing that the attack on Iran could happen at any minute. The aircraft carrier has arrived in the Middle East, and Israel is reporting that all preparations are complete for the attack to begin. This is extremely strange behavior from Israel. They’ve always relied on the element of surprise before. They launched the attack on Iran 7 months ago under the guise of diplomacy, killing several VIPs in a surprise attack. Then they launched a coordinated attack on the Iranian currency in December, and infilatrated he protests to kick off a coup attempt, claiming that the US military would respond, only for nothing ot happen after Iran killed their agent’s Starlink access. Now, with all their assets terminated, and with no element of surprise, Israel is simply announcing that it’s going to attack Iran right in the open. Are they hoping for Iran to beg for negotiations or cuck? Are they trying to get Iran to shoot first so they can claim to be acting in self-defence?
source: https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/why-israel-may-move-first-in-the-iran-u-s-crisis/ , https://x.com/Megatron_ron/status/2014459160251826523 , https://x.com/Megatron_ron/status/2014488632745247215 , https://x.com/warsurveillance/status/2014257296256401621

- Nothing is happening in the markets. The Greenland “deal” has lifted market sentiment, but metals are still going up.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-rebound-continues-geopolitical-woes-ease-newsquawk-us-market-wrap , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-refocus-growth-re-acceleration-tariff-fears-fade , https://x.com/KobeissiLetter/status/2014512048521032112

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Communications Technology
o 2. Gold
o 3. Materials
o 4. Consumer Discretionary
o 5. Bonds
o 6. Information Technology
o 7. Financials

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Brent Crude Oil
o 4. Natural Gas
o 5. Real Estate
o 6. Bitcoin
o 7. The US Dollar

- The normies think that the only risk was tariffs on Europe over Greenland, the poor fools.

- So the bottom line is that Iran has the full backing of Russia and China, and they have every incentive to give Iran their full support to fuck up the US as much as possible because it allows them to test their best weapons against the US with clean hands. The idea that nobody cares about Iran, Russia, and China is scared of the US is a cope. However, the US will attack Iran because “Juden Vult!” This could easily be where the Regime truly dies. Everything will be decided on the battlefield. Let’s watch the invincible US military in action against an enemy that won’t take a bribe to let them win. If Trump calls for negotiations, it’s a feint for a surprise attack, and Iran knows this. They’re just waiting for the shooting to start.

Monkey’s Market Minute: January 22nd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- The markets rallied today on Trump ruling out war with Europe over Greenland, as if that was ever a real possibility.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-rose-wednesday-after-president-trump-ruled-out-military-action-acquire-greenland , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/trump-sparks-pump-greenland-triggers-dump-markets-see-saw-geopol-gerrymandering , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/did-greenland-expose-greenback

- There was an article today on ZeroHedge about the stock market not being a market anymore, but a political control mechanism. Good to see the mainstream media catching up to what I’ve been saying for several years now.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stock-market-isnt-market-anymore-its-political-control-mechanism

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Natural Gas
o 2. Energy
o 3. Brent Crude Oil
o 4. WTI Crude Oil
o 6. Materials
o 7. Consumer Discretionary

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o Everything else was up
- A solid day with everything up, especially commodities. Very rare.

- In geopolitical news, the details of Trump’s Greenland deal are apparently coming in, and it’s not a full annexation, but simply the US being given some land to build military bases on, which they already had permission to do under NATO, so Trump cucked. The Europeans having the US bond market by the balls worked. This could also strongly imply that the US is going to continue to fund NATO and keep Europe from having to pay for its own military for the foreseeable future because Trump can’t afford for the Europeans to dump their bonds and crash the financial system. This is good and bad depending on how you look at it. Trump SHOULD abandon NATO and consolidate in the Americas, but Europe’s control of the bond market is forcing Trump to keep the Regime spread out, where it is vulnerable. The story of Rome playing out again before our eyes.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/political/trump-arrives-davos-after-air-force-one-electrical-issue-sparked-brief-delay , https://www.zerohedge.com/political/trump-arrives-davos-after-air-force-one-electrical-issue-sparked-brief-delay

- No updates regarding Iran at this time. The media is still trying to keep the “Iranian Holocaust” narrative alive with stories of the government killing innocent protestors to justify a war to stop the latest reincarnation of Hitler. It’s just further proof that we’re going to attack Iran, and despite underestimating Iran twice, they’re going to go for it again, and of course, Russia and China will just sit back and do nothing because they’re pussies. The same brilliant minds behind that plan were confident that their terrorist cells were going to overthrow the government a week or so ago.
source: https://www.reuters.com/world/iran-deaths-went-beyond-protesters-hitting-bystanders-too-witnesses-say-2026-01-21/ , https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/21/world/middleeast/iran-protests-crushed.html , https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c0r4957rq8ro

- So the bottom line is that Trump cucking on Greenland and caving to the EU is good for Europe, but bad for the Regime in the long run, as they’re forced to remain spread out and vulnerable. They will also be going to war with Iran in the near future for no reason other than Israel wills it. There’s no point speculating about the outcome as we’ll just have to wait and see what happens when the missiles start flying. Will Halsey be right, and Iran will be crushed easily, while nobody does anything or cares? The eternal “we’ll see” is once again invoked. However, Russia is already preparing for war with NATO, so the idea that they would do nothing and let a major ally fall would only weaken them and strengthen the Regime. The idea that Russia and China are afraid of the US is cope. They know they’re winning and would prefer to avoid a direct war and “run out the clock”, but they’re not going to sit around as the US attacks their allies, especially in Asia, in their own backyard. Since Iran isn’t going to take a bribe and let the US win, it’s probably going to go very badly for the US, but again, we’ll see.

Monkey’s Market Minute: January 20th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- The markets were closed today, but Bitcoin was flat, losing a bit, but gaining a bit and closing flat. With silver making headlines, Bitcoin needs to do something soon, or the normies will begin the final crash. I warned you that what would kill Bitcoin isn’t economic fundamentals or understanding of intrinsic value, but a newer “get rich quick scheme”.
source: https://ambcrypto.com/evaluating-the-8-trillion-risk-why-bitcoin-price-is-no-longer-a-safe-haven/ , https://bitcoinworld.co.in/bitcoin-price-dip-bearish-market-trend/

- The only geopolitical news to report is that Canada is thinking about joining Europe and defending Greenland from the US, but it’s all performative. Europe is dependent on the US, and Canada even moreso than Europe. They will do whatever the US says, but liked to pretend they are partners instead of vassals. Trump is simply pulling back the curtain and exposing them as the powerless vassals they are. Nobody is going to stop Trump from taking Greenland. The only thing Europe and Canada can do is crash the US bond market out of spite.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/canada-weighs-token-troop-deployment-greenland-fears-trump-wrath , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-norway-no-nobel-no-greenland-letter-has-shocked-europe , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-norway-no-nobel-no-greenland-letter-has-shocked-europe , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-norway-no-nobel-no-greenland-letter-has-shocked-europe ,

- Perhaps related to Greenland, the end of NATO, and the end of their global power, European leaders are suddenly talking about diplomacy with Russia. All of a sudden, Russia isn’t so bad now that America is invading and stealing their land. Funny how that works, huh? I don’t think Europe will join BRICS or anything. They might try to remain neutral and do business with both, but they’ll be globally irrelevant soon, regardless.
source: https://www.rt.com/news/631075-eu-russia-about-turn/ , https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2026/01/15/putin-says-russia-is-ready-to-restore-relations-with-europe-a91691

- The bottom line is that nothing has changed since yesterday, and the markets were closed due to MLK Day, so it’s whatever. We’re still waiting for the next shoe to drop, either in Iran, Greenland, or the Caribbean.

Monkey’s Market Minute: January 19th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- As the markets reopened after the weekend, crypto dumped and silver rallied to new all-time highs.
source: https://x.com/GodsBurnt/status/2013064967734354429 , https://x.com/KobeissiLetter/status/2013042848183325071

- Meanwhile, Europe is threatening the US bond market over Trump's annexation of Greenland. Will Europe pull the trigger? They honestly might because this signals the intentional dumping of Europe and NATO by the US, which means Europe is finished, and their only move could be to take the US down with them out of spite.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/deutsche-banks-thoughts-greenland-europe-owns-8-trillion-us-bonds-and-equities , https://www.rt.com/news/631112-trump-taking-greenland-would-be-nail-nato-coffin/

- If you thought the Iran thing was over, nope. Trump is still talking about regime change in Iran, the Shah’s son is still in the news cycle, and a carrier battle group is heading to the Middle East right now. As I explained on the show, Israel launching this offensive was caused by desperation, which hasn’t changed, and they can’t afford to take the L. They’re going to attack Iran.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-first-suggests-iran-regime-change-time-look-new-leadership , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/irans-khamenei-says-us-israel-linked-deadly-protest-violence-thousands-killed , https://thehill.com/policy/defense/5691421-defense-department-carrier-strike-group-iran-tensions/ , https://www.nysun.com/article/hackers-force-former-shahs-son-onto-iranian-television-with-one-more-resistance-message-as-regime-curbs-protests-reopens-internet-access

- In other news, remember Somaliland, that breakaway country the US and Israel created out of part of Somalia, that they want to build bases on to counter the Houthis on the other side of the sea? Apparently, the government of Somalia isn’t happy with this, and they’re asking Saudi Arabia attack them like they attacked the UAE in southern Yemen. I know I asked Halsey about this, and he said that Saudi Arabia and the UAE fighting each other meant nothing, but Saudi Arabia appears to be being called upon because Somaliland also has ties to the UAE. It looks like Saudi Arabia and the UAE are vying for dominance in the Gulf, with the UAE being the Regime-favored agent, but Saudi Arabia is countering them despite being neutral between the Regime and BRICS (although OPEC did join BRICS). They’re calling this an “Islamic NATO” consisting of Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, and Qatar, which will counter Regime attempts to take over the region. Egypt may also join this alliance. It’s unclear how these countries expect to remain neutral while fighting against the Regime, but that is what appears to be happening. This may be why Jews keep accusing Tucker Carlson of working for Qatar and keep bringing up Qatar for no reason.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/nascent-islamic-nato-might-soon-set-its-sights-somaliland

- So the bottom line is that we’ll have to see what happens with Iran. With two wins under their belt, I don’t see what the Regime plans to do at this point other than a nuclear strike, and maybe they’re THAT stupid, we’ll see. Once the Regime is defeated by Iran again, this new “Islamic NATO” may begin making moves against the Regime’s puppets in the region, further isolating Israel. We also don’t know what’s happening in the Caribbean. Trump is keeping the naval assets in place, but Russia and China are sending their own to end America’s piracy of their oil trade, and we’ll see what happens with that. Regarding Greenland, will Europe accept its fate graciously or take the US bond market down with it? The die is cast, and these questions will have answers in the not-too-distant future. The era of “nothing ever happens” is over. The era of “finding out” has begun.