Monkey’s Market Minute: April 23rd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- The US seized more ships, so Iran seized more ships. Iran has currently seized more ships than the US. Also, the top admiral of the Navy abruptly resigned, meaning Trump is probably planning on bringing the aircraft carriers closer to Iran, where they’ll be heavily seasoned with missiles, and the top admiral doesn’t want that blood on his hands. This is hard evidence that Trump is not going to seek an off-ramp and that the big offensive is still on, but the military brass know it’s doomed and are jumping ship.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-seizes-two-ships-hormuz-chokepoint-tehran-received-some-signs-us-ready-end , https://www.aol.com/articles/trump-navy-secretary-resigns-effective-223649714.html

- The Lebanese ceasefire appears to be collapsing, but it’ll probably hold until the weekend when the big offensive (probably) happens. Americans are being advised to depart Lebanon now while the ceasefire holds.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/embassy-tells-americans-still-lebanon-depart-now-while-flights-available-ceasefire

- Are the markets still fake and gay? Of course!
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-shrug-surging-oil-prices-bitcoin-rips-tehran-turbocharges-tensions-trump

- I’m sorry that this newsletter is so short. It’s just that everything hinges on the Iran War, which would have ended a long time ago if not for Israel, but like I said, this is the hill the Regime will die on because of Israel.

- The bottom line is that the rest of the week is likely to be quiet as the US and Israel prepare for a possible big offensive this weekend. Iran is fully prepared, so we’re waiting for the Regime to initiate the naval offensive that caused the head of the navy to resign in disgust today.

The Morning Constitutional: April 22nd, 2026
https://www.mgtow.tv/watch/the-morning-constitutional-april-22nd-2026_5rzl1YpPMPZHqCa.html
/watch/the-morning-constitutional-april-22nd-2026_5rzl1YpPMPZHqCa.html

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 21st, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- This is how the Iran War went today: Trump claimed Iran was agreeing to more negotiations to prop the markets up, Iran denied it, then the western media claimed that Iran was joking and cited two unnamed Pakistani sources that said Iran is totally going to agree to negotiations, and Iran denied it. At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words, and once the missiles start flying again, it’s going to be pretty obvious there aren’t going to be any more negotiations. I’m a bit surprised that Israel and America didn’t break the ceasefire first, especially Israel, since that’s kind of their signature move. Anyway, the ceasefire expires tomorrow, so let’s get this over with.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-says-no-plans-talks-after-us-seizure-cargo-ship-pakistanis-contradict-oil-prices , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-says-no-plans-talks-after-us-seizure-cargo-ship-pakistanis-contradict-oil-prices , https://x.com/DanielLDavis1/status/2046395846757953595

- The markets are as fake and gay as they ever were. We’ll see what happens tomorrow. If Iran agrees to a ceasefire extension, stocks will go to new all-time highs and oil will fall again. If Iran starts launching missiles again, then the opposite will happen. There is no point speculating or analyzing anything because the Iran War is driving the market, followed closely by Trump’s endless market manipulation.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/oil-jumps-tech-dumps-gold-slumps-blockade-booms-ceasefire-looms , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-finished-mixed-geopolitics-dominated-headlines-and-conflicting-reports-about-us

- It’s worth pointing out that the damage in the Middle East will already cause a global recession in a few months. Even if the war ended tomorrow with a deal, it’s fucked. Another round of fighting, especially if Iran makes the Middle East uninhabitable and there is a failed ground offensive by the United States, will just add gasoline to the fire that’s already burning under the surface. I’m not losing any sleep missing out on the stock market right now, and you shouldn’t either. The only people making money are the insiders who are illegally trading using insider information and manipulating the market.

- The bottom line is that we’ll see what happens tomorrow. Nothing else to say.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 20th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Trump proposed another round of negotiations in Pakistan with Iran, but Iran said they’re not interested in more meetings until the US is willing to agree with the 10-point conditions. Trump then seized an Iranian cargo carrier that was returning from China (which had left before the blockade towards China and was returning home). The US Navy attacked and seized the merchant vessel, and Iran said that the US has violated the ceasefire and that they are preparing a response. Since there will be no ceasefire extension and the US violated the ceasefire, we’re waiting to see what Iran’s response will be. The US Navy is sitting out of range of Iranian missiles, and its blockade is only effective because merchant ships are so painfully slow that anyone can catch up with them if they want. I predict that Iranian ships will shortly become Chinese or Russian ships, but nothing will otherwise change. The Iranians can’t attack the US Navy directly, and since Navy ships are mobile, they’re not ideal targets for long-range missiles anyway. If I were Iran, I would simply change my merchant vessels from Iran to China or Russia and let them deal with the blockade however they want. Meanwhile, I would hit Israel. That’ll bring the US running back to Israel’s defense to provide missile support, which will put them in range of Iran’s missiles: Bait the trap, lure the prey, spring the trap.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/no-more-mr-nice-guy-trump-sends-witkoff-pakistan-us-iran-talks-hormuz-traffic-freezes

- In a bit of random news, Palantir posted its manifesto, called “The Technological Republic,” on X. Alex Karp is Jewish and supports Israel, but you can read the post and see that he isn’t a death cultist who wants mass sacrifice to fulfill some bullshit prophecy of the Messiah and Greater Israel. Again, the Technocracy is NOT the good guys, but between the death cult Zionists and literal Communists, they’re the least shitty bad guys.
source: https://x.com/PalantirTech/status/2045574398573453312

- The markets are pulling back as the commodities markets open, but I expect Trump to say some bullshit about Iran begging for a ceasefire and agreeing to finger Netanyahu’s asshole as Trump sucks him off, and for stocks to go to new all-time highs. The only thing that will cause markets to realize Trump is obviously lying again is if Iran starts launching missiles again. No missiles means the war is over, and whatever Trump says is close enough to true to bet your life savings on.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/jpmorgans-top-commodity-analyst-shocked-prices-are-falling-nothing-has-improved , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/hartnett-its-bull-trap

- So the bottom line is that the fireworks might restart a day earlier than expected, but it ultimately doesn’t make a difference. The outcome is already fixed. Enjoy the show.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 17th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- Nothing is happening with Iran. As I said, things are going to be quiet and boring until the ceasefire ends next week, then things are going to explode (literally).
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/hegseth-vows-hormuz-blockade-continue-long-it-takes-ships-now-subject-search-outright , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trumps-blockade-breaking-iran-and-european-elites-are-angry , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-boasts-it-fast-rebuilding-bridges-rail-lines-after-us-wrought-destruction

- The markets are still fake and gay, breaking new all-time high records even as oil falls more. Paper crude futures are $93 while actual crude oil in Singapore and Sri Lanka is over $200.
source: https://oilprice.com/Energy/Oil-Prices/Whats-Next-for-Oil-Prices44114.html , https://x.com/CheburekiMan/status/2044840486901522833

- The only thing worth mentioning is that there was a meeting in China today between Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov and his Chinese counterpart, Wang Yi, and one interesting statement was that Russia and China are “interested in ensuring” that the West fails to maintain/renew its hegemony. This isn’t a huge deal because it’s just talk, but it confirms the obvious, which is that Russia and China aren’t going to sit on their hands and let the US destroy Iran, Cuba, etc.
source: https://www.facebook.com/MIDRussia/posts/-statement-and-answers-to-media-questions-by-russias-foreign-minister-sergey-lav/1301015472221510/ , https://us.china-embassy.gov.cn/eng/zgyw/202604/t20260416_11893219.htm , https://x.com/Amockx2022/status/2044932854799647078

- So the bottom line is that nothing is likely to happen until the ceasefire expires, so enjoy a peaceful, quiet week and touch grass or something. It’s Spring. Enjoy some warm weather and pollen allergies.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 16th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- The markets are still fake and gay.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/deal-or-no-deal-risk-roller-coasters-deal-hope-trumps-hormuz-dead-end , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/whats-behind-meltup-complete-hedge-fund-institutional-and-retail-flow-and-positiong , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-steadily-rebounded-us-and-iran-talks-remain-ongoing-newsquawk-asia-pac-market , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/goldman-stocks-face-final-battle-hormuz-outcome-decides-game

- Regarding Iran, the Western media is reporting that Iran has agreed to let the US use the Strait of Hormuz for literally nothing as a “face-saving measure” based on literally nothing. Total bullshit.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/war-very-close-over-trump-says-iran-ceasefire-extension-reportedly-advances-more-us

- All the sources I’m seeing are saying that Iran is using the last week of the ceasefire to dig out the collapsed tunnels in its missile cities and prepare for the next phase of the war. They are also excited about the ground invasion because they can do math. Meanwhile, I was right that the US is preparing one massive bombing campaign with all the bombs they’ve pulled from Asia to replenish their supplies to try and accomplish in one day what they couldn’t in 40. My guess (although this isn’t mentioned) is that this will be done to soften defenses against the ground invasion because that’s the only card America can play.
source: https://x.com/RT_com/status/2044598182198616450

- So the bottom line is that the next week is likely to be boring as the Regime manipulates the markets to Hell and back and makes up stories about Iran cucking. I’ll keep my eyes open for updates, but nothing is likely to happen until the ceasefire expires. Maybe Israel will start the party early because they never found a ceasefire they didn’t violate.

The Morning Constitutional: April 15th, 2026
https://www.mgtow.tv/watch/the-morning-constitutional-april-8th-2026_AsUOl7nCeO9Zr6w.html
/watch/the-morning-constitutional-april-8th-2026_AsUOl7nCeO9Zr6w.html

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 14th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- I’m going to keep things short because, aside from developments in the war with Iran, nothing else matters, but we’re still technically in a ceasefire as Trump imposes his blockade of Iran to make double-sure than the oil markets crash (that’ll show em’). So here is the update for today:

- The blockade has begun, and so far, nothing has happened in terms of missiles or explosions. Iran is surely taking this time to repair everything and get their launchers ready to cause another round of “laundry fires” on these ships when the time comes.

- China has said that they are sending its ships to Iran, and they expect America to allow them to pass. They didn’t threaten America, which Trump will take as a sign of weakness. Two Chinese ships were forced to turn around today by the Americans, so the ball is in China’s court to respond. I don’t expect China to attack the blockade with their navy or anything. They’ll most likely impose additional export restrictions on America as a quid pro quo for the US blocking their oil.
source: https://www.reuters.com/world/china/us-military-enforce-blockade-gulf-oman-arabian-sea-note-seafarers-2026-04-13/ , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/oil-tanker-going-china-forced-reverse-course-crossing-hormuz-under-us-blockade

- So that’s the update. The blockade is on. They’ve interfered with China’s trade, and China is being too subtle in their response, which Trump will perceive as weakness and aggress further. Iran has shown the way. If you try diplomacy, you get aggression and war crimes committed against you. If you fuck their shit up, Trump cucks out and begs for a ceasefire. For some reason, Russia and China are still being diplomatic.

- In the markets, the blockade and imminent economic crash have been deemed bullish by Wall Street, causing the S&P 500 to become positive and for oil to fall below $100. How does that make sense? The narrative is that there is “deal hope”, but no, there isn’t. They’re just going to keep manipulating the markets without even the pretext of plausible deniability. If you’re still investing at this point, you already knew the markets were fake and gay.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/deal-or-no-deal-risk-roller-coasters-deal-hope-trumps-hormuz-dead-end , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/whats-behind-meltup-complete-hedge-fund-institutional-and-retail-flow-and-positiong

- So the bottom line is that Iran’s plan to cause an energy crisis to bring down the western economies is being countered by Trump, causing an energy crisis and bringing down the western economies, but the trick is that he’s going to lie about it and manipulate the markets and pretend that manipulating futures prices will make oil supply magically appear from nowhere. It’s a pretty ballsy plan, some might even call it delusional and insane. One might even go as far as to say that this is completely retarded and doesn’t even make sense on paper, but this is what we’re doing, and it’s up to Iran and China to deal with it, or not. Maybe Iran just chills out and lets Trump take credit for causing the energy crisis. Who knows? The ceasefire supposedly ends automatically next week, but I expect things to heat up before then.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 13th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- The ceasefire negotiations failed because JD Vance was constantly getting phone calls from Netanyahu, and the negotiations shifted from peace to recognizing Israel, at which point the Iranians walked away, refusing to negotiate with Israel.
source: https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/middle-east/how-a-netanyahu-phone-call-to-jd-vance-shifted-focus-in-iran-us-negotiations/articleshow/130216264.cms

- The plan now is so retarded that I’m shocked. Trump is going to blockade the Strait of Hormuz and shut down all oil traffic himself. How does this help? It doesn’t, in fact, it does exactly what Iran was trying to do, which is cause a financial crisis and bring down the economies of America and Europe. What does Trump think he’s doing? The MAGAtards are coping and saying that the blockade is a good thing because it means countries will have to buy American oil. If that was true, why was Trump trying to reopen the Stait or Hormuz for the last 2 months, you copium addicted retard? I think the only way Trump can claim a win is to side with Iran and claim that bringing down the global economy was his idea, since that’s what’s going to happen anyway.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/energy/uae-oil-chief-warns-world-cant-allow-hormuz-closure-2-tankers-u-turn-and-us-emerges-last

- The idea that blockading Middle Eastern oil will benefit Americans is based on American oil companies making more money due to higher prices, but prices will skyrocket for EVERYONE, including Americans, and the economy will crash. We can’t afford $200 oil even if we’re selling it on the other side. Why do you think Trump was lifting sanctions on Russia and manipulating oil for weeks if skyrocketing oil was a good thing for America? These people are so high on copium that they don’t even hear how stupid they sound to everyone else.

- I hope you guys have been taking my advice and preparing your disaster prep because you’re going to see massive shortages, followed by massive price increases in the next few weeks and into the rest of the year for the foreseeable future. There is no way out of this unless we cut Israel loose and leave it to its fate.

- In the markets, now that the commodities markets are open after the weekend, oil is back above $100. Soon, $100 is going to seem cheap.

- So the bottom line is that I don’t know what Trump’s next move is. I can’t predict stupidity. Blockading Iran and reinforcing their closure of Hormuz was not on the Bingo Card. Either launch the ground invasion and exhaust the missiles you’ve taken from Asia so we can get this over with, or remove Trump and have JD Vance do something.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 10th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- I was genuinely worried yesterday when Iran went forward with the negotiations after Israel attacked Lebanon and Trump lied about what he agreed to. I thought for sure Iran would just cancel everything and go back to bombing the shit out of the gathering troops in the region (now up to 50,000). It looked like Iran was making the same mistake as the last two times and cucking. There were rumors of some liberal politicians who were intentionally spared from assassination by the Regime, orchestrating a soft coup and surrendering to the Regime. It looks like those fears weren’t realized. The negotiations were cancelled due to Israel, but Iran hasn’t returned to attacking US forces in the region yet. They are telling the US to control Israel and that any negotiations will involve the entire Axis of Resistance, not just Iran. We’ll know the negotiations have truly ended once the US and Iran begin bombing each other again. Iran is allowing the US to gather their ground invasion forces without attacking them, but Iran must have a plan for that, perhaps luring them into a trap.

- The US is rearming using massive airlifts during the ceasefire, as expected. The only scenario that makes sense is that Iran wants the US to launch the ground invasion so they can defeat and embarrass them. We’re only talking 50,000 troops. To put that in perspective, nearly 200,000 troops participated on D-Day during WW2 against 50,000 Germans. This time, it will be 50,000 Americans against hundreds of thousands of Iranians fighting defensively. If you know anything about warfare, the side on the offense takes triple the casualties of the defenders, which is why it took 200,000 Allied troops to defeat 50,000 Germans on D-Day. You literally need 4X the number to realistically win. The only way the US wins with a force of 50,000 is if Iran only has 12,500 soldiers or so to fight them. The IRGC alone (not to mention the Iranian military, just the IRGC) has 10X that number.

- One final note regarding Iran. The new Supreme Leader (the son of the previous one) had made no appearances and only one written statement since the beginning of the war, and a lot of people speculated that he was dead because he wasn’t saying or doing anything, but it turns out that he was in a 40-day religious mourning period. You know how in the Bible people would fast and pray for 40 days, and it had deep religious significance. Well, apparently, that’s where he’s been. He’s been mourning his father and family and preparing himself spiritually to lead his people, which is actually kind of wholesome. The 40-day mourning period just ended.

- So the bottom line regarding the war is that Iran isn’t cucking (much to my relief) but does seem to be deliberately allowing the US to prepare their ground invasion without resistance by playing along with the ceasefire. This does appear to be planned and intentional because Iran has no reason to cuck and beg for peace.

- Moving onto the markets:

- The markets soared based on “Hormuz Hope” despite nothing happening and the negotiations going nowhere. Like I said before, normies don’t respond to reality, only the TV. Only when the TV reports on it does it become real, so as long as the normies are being told Trump won and Iran is negotiating, they’re going to take that as a positive regardless of what’s really happening.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/hormuz-hope-sparks-stocks-longest-win-streak-6-months-bonds-bullion-bitcoin-bid , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-extended-ceasefire-gains-israel-and-lebanon-said-hold-negotiations-next-week

- Oil is back below $100, with all blends of oil crashing 11-19% in a single day. Won’t they be surprised when the obvious and telegraphed thing happens?

- Not much else to talk about. The markets are at the mercy of the Iran war, and the war is in an intermission at the moment as the Regime rearms and Iran prepares for the ground invasion. I also heard a rumor that this was all China’s idea, and China encouraged Iran to go along with the ceasefire. Why? Because all the weapons that the Regime is using to rearm for the ground invasion are coming from Asia. These were the weapons that America was planning to use against China. The Regime has to consolidate all the weapons it still has to have a chance against Iran, so it makes sense for China to want Iran to allow it to happen. Iran is a nation of mountain fortresses that are impervious to air strikes, whereas China is full of vulnerable cities and delicate industrial infrastructure, which is highly vulnerable to missiles and airstrikes. Nothing would make China happier than for Iran to absorb these missile strikes and exhaust the United States into submission. It’s literally the best possible theater that BRICS could ask for.

- The bottom line is that the ground invasion has been postponed for a week or two, but it’s happening. The Technocrats are accusing Trump of having dementia and calling for him to be impeached and replaced by JD Vance, all according to plan. I’m glad to see my fears of Iran being betrayed and cucking were misplaced, and I’m excited to see what the new leader does now that his 40-day mourning period is done, since I know nothing about him, so getting into his head and adding him to my internal mental model will be fun and interesting.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 9th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- The ceasefire is basically over. The Strait of Hormuz is closed again, and Trump said the 10 points he agreed to are trash. The US tricked Iran into agreeing to a ceasefire so they can rearm, and Iran is playing along while only attacking Israel for some reason. The UAE attacked Iran, so the fighting didn’t stop. I’m concerned about Iran still moving forward with the planned negotiations in Pakistan despite the obvious bad faith of the US. I guess they need to be betrayed a third time in a row for some reason. I don’t think they’re cucking though, at least not yet.
source: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/apr/08/pakistan-us-israel-iran-ceasefire

- In Technocrat news, Tucker Carlson and Joe Kent are warning that Israel is controlling Trump and that Trump is leaving NATO to attack Turkey on behalf of Israel. Also, Trump threatened the Pope, like the actual Pope of the Catholic church. This is significant because, according to Kash Patel’s Mossad-assigned girlfriend, the Catholic church is somehow involved with the Technocrats in ways that I don’t fully understand, other than that they aren’t Zionists. Anyway, threatening the Pope wasn’t on my Bingo card. JD Vance is a Catholic, BTW, so the plot thickens regarding the Technocrats.

- There isn’t much else to talk about. I’m unsure what Iran is doing playing along with the negotiations. The markets rallied on the ceasefire for obvious reasons and are optimistic that the war is over, despite the missiles flying. The reason is simple: the markets don’t follow reality; they follow the TV. The TV says Trump won and Iran surrendered, so that’s why the market reacted. If the TV notifies the normies that Trump lied, then the markets will reverse. It’s actually shocking how blindly the markets continue to trust Trump after so many lies, but c’est la vie.

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Crypto
o 2. Industrials
o 3. Materials
o 4. Bitcoin
o 5. Information Technology
o 6. Consumer Discretionary
o 7. Financials

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Brent Crude Oil
o 3. WTI Crude Oil
o 4. Natural Gas
o 5. Broad Commodities
o 6. Energy
o 7. The US Dollar

- I’m not sure why I’m even mentioning the markets since they’re just being manipulated by Trump’s lies and bullshit.

- So the bottom line is that Trump lied and tricked Iran into agreeing to a ceasefire, and he’s not doing anything he promised, so I don’t know what Iran is waiting for. Why are they playing along with this? They’re giving the impression that they’re cucking, but why would they do that when they were winning? Am I missing something? I’m seeing a lot of theories floating around social media, ranging from a tactical consideration to betrayal by government insiders. We’ll just have to see what happens.

The Morning Constitutional: April 8th, 2026
https://www.mgtow.tv/watch/2026-04-08-08-00-46_nI7CVTGYBl1lzRF.html
/watch/2026-04-08-08-00-46_nI7CVTGYBl1lzRF.html

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 7th, 2026

Tonight’s the night. The Regime is running out of missiles globally, and they’re launching their big attack. The ground invasion will almost certainly coincide with the bombing campaign. If the dust settles and Iran stands, I expect nukes to be used. No point talking about anything else, including the markets, because everything will be decided on the battlefield.

However, since I don’t want you to feel like I’m being lazy tonight, let’s talk about MeshCore/Meshtastic. These are technologies that allow you to use your smartphone to send and receive text messages without a network. Each device acts as a repeater, so the more people on the network, the faster and longer the range it is. It can’t be shut down by the government because there is no central hub; the entire network is distributed. The Regime promoted this technology for Iranian protestors earlier this year to get around Iran shutting the internet down during the coup attempt. That’s how powerful this technology is, and it’s not expensive. The apps are free, just search for “MeshCore” or “Meshtastic” in the app store. Those are two different networks with pros and cons, but we’ll talk about that later.

As far as hardware, a basic unit costs about $20 if you want to DIY it yourself and flash the drive. If you want a ready-made solution that works out of the box, it’s about $30. The unit I’m linking to is a two-pack for $65. Why two units? Well, you can keep one in your house and one in your car, or you could flash one for MeshCore and one for Meshtastic so that you have access to both networks. It’s up to you.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0F1CYWVLC

MeshCore/Meshtastic has its own community similar to ham radio operators, but they’re great not only for disaster preparation but if you’re an outdoor guy and like to camp in places where your cellphone doesn’t get good service, MeshCore/Meshtastic can be more reliable than a cellphone provider, and unlike something like Starlink, the units are small, cheap, and have no fees. You are the network.

The main difference between Meshtastic and MeshCore is how the traffic is forwarded. MeshCore is a newer and more reliable technology, so if you’re starting a network from scratch, go with MeshCore. However, Meshtastic has a lot of large established networks due to it being an older protocol, so if you’re looking to join a larger and more established network so that your devices have a longer range, Meshtastic might be better. Again, you can have both if you get the two-pack and install MeshCore on one device and Meshtastic on the other. Then you can switch between the two apps on your phone and use the one that works for you at that time.

MeshCore and Meshtastic may not be appropriate for everyone. If you’re going to be a wasteland warlord or operate in only a small group, a walkie-talkie might be all you need. However, walkie-talkies don’t scale well to larger organizations, which is where these other technologies fit in. There are lots of YouTube channels dedicated to the MeshCore/Meshtasic hobby and community, but you don’t have to become an expert to get started and have your communications infrastructure in place. Being able to communicate with your loved ones in an emergency when cell service is offline is priceless.

That’s all I’m going to talk about tonight. There’s no point talking about the markets or anything because it’s all going to be decided on the battlefield. See you tomorrow!

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 6th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- I’ll be taking a break from the prep segment until I see something worth sharing. It won’t be a daily segment any longer, but more of a “here’s something I found that’s interesting that I haven’t mentioned before” thing.

- Supposedly Trump is going to destroy all the energy infrastructure in Iran in 24 hours, after which Iran will make the Middle East uninhabitable, even for Israel. I fully expect Trump to declare another round of negotiations and delay the promised attack until Friday, but we’ll see.
source: https://x.com/Phoxotic/status/2040960218071285799

- The plane that was shot down was resolved. According to western media, the pilot was saved and the planes that were destroyed weren’t shot down but were “stuck in sand” and the US blew them up themselves to prevent them from being captured. However, Iran has pictures of bodies in the planes, which wouldn’t make sense if they were stuck in sand and abandoned. It doesn’t really matter as the details of the rescue change literally nothing.
source: https://x.com/visionergeo/status/2040851407742660616 , https://x.com/MaxtheCrowhouse/status/2040937538970402979

- Iran released a video showing the new supreme leader in front of a monitor in an operations room with an image of Israel’s Demona nuclear facility and its coordinates, obviously as a warning that if Trump attacks their energy, they’re going to take out Demona.
source: https://x.com/realgerhardtvdm/status/2040967513471844629

- Ground invasion soon maybe? We’ll see.

- As far as the markets go, oil is around $110 The markets will likely be down as Trump seems to have given up trying to lie about the war being over since nobody believes him anyway.

- The bottom line is we’re still waiting on the ground invasion.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 3rd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I am actually running out of stuff to recommend that we haven’t already covered. Like I’ve said, it doesn’t take THAT much money to have a full disaster prep kit. The big ticket items like generators are obvious, but most disaster prep isn’t about having a $1,000 generator; it’s about having a little extra and knowing how to make it last and function without electricity. So in the spirit of that, for today I want to recommend the jar opener I use, which may be interesting to you because I have arthritis and have wasted more money than I want to admit buying jar openers that don’t work. This is the jar opening I use, and no, it doesn’t use electricity. It screws underneath a cabinet, and you just stick the jar into the teeth and turn it with both hands. It works way better than any other jar opener I’ve tried, and it’s not expensive. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09R8HBFQ9

- Let’s return to our regular analysis:

- Not much happened today in the Iran War. Pete Hegseth is firing a bunch of top generals who are warning him not to launch a ground invasion of Iran. He’s fired the Army Chief of Staff, two additional top generals, and the Army Chaplain of all people. It’s a really bad sign when your generals are telling you not to do something and that it’s suicide, and instead of listening to them, you fire them. I’m sure this is going to work out swimmingly.
source: https://x.com/OCOCReport/status/2039840624048828713 , https://x.com/disclosetv/status/2039866517311955062 , https://x.com/RT_com/status/2039881185556394027

- Still no idea when the ground invasion is going to happen. The smart money is this weekend, but who knows? With generals being fired, the military might be on the verge of mutiny. This is a very good sign for America’s future. It means that when the “moment of truth” happens, perhaps the military will actually do the right thing. I’m not saying the odds are favorable, but it’s possible.

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. WTI Crude Oil
o 2. Brent Crude Oil
o 3. Broad Commodities
o 4. Real Estate
o 5. Bonds
o 6. Information Technology
o 7. Energy

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Gold
o 3. Bitcoin
o 4. Consumer Discretionary
o 5. Natural Gas
o 6. Healthcare
o 7. Industrials

- Trump didn’t even try to prop the markets up today. They’re preparing for the ground invasion, and Trump is even saying that he’s going to cut welfare spending next year to increase the military budget, pretty much writing the Democrats’ campaign ads for them. He sacrificed everything for Israel and still lost. I hope the underage girls you fucked on that island were worth it.

- So the bottom line is that nothing happened today, and we’re still waiting on the big ground offensive to happen so we can move on to see if Israel launches nukes or if Trump is removed and JD Vance becomes President. Those are the two most likely scenarios based on my estimation. Be aware that I can’t see the future, and maybe they do something stupid that I didn’t consider, so don’t go betting on Polymarket and be mad at me if you lose money.

- Everyone got their nickels? You might want to get your nickels.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 2nd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I have an accessory for your mason jars, and that’s an electric vacuum sealer. If you use a vacuum sealer, you can use mason jars to dry pack things without using oxygen absorbers, which allows you to store dry goods long-term. This unit is electric, and while there are manual vacuum sealers, they cost 4X as much, and it’s not really worth it. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0GQ96RFN1

- Let’s return to our regular analysis:

- Not much to talk about since the show, unfortunately. Trump’s big announcement was that he’s going to send Iran “back to the stone age” over the next couple of weeks and essentially destroy everything, and Iran will do the same to Israel, so what’s changed? Nothing. No update regarding the ground offensive. Some people were expecting Trump to announce the war is over and call it quits, but he just continued to make threats and pout. This was after he lied his ass off about Iran begging for a ceasefire this morning. The markets crashed over Trump’s comments because they apparently thought Trump was finally going to TACO and end the war.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/uae-poised-join-anti-iran-operations-trump-rips-nato-paper-tiger-says-exit-beyond

- So we’re back to “we’ll see” apparently. While Trump decides when he’s going to launch the ground invasion, Iran will continue to spit-roast Israel with Hezbollah and the Houthis, so it’s not all bad.

- The markets are still fake and gay and will continue to be so until the government comes clean. The normies will just follow the TV, and the numbers will move based on whatever lie Trump says that day. It’s not even worth following until the war becomes more obvious to the average investor.

- Lastly, the Claude AI leak I reported on the show was apparently an elaborate April Fools' joke, and the code wasn’t leaked. The AI bubble is still fucked, and the RAM story involving OpenAI was real, but the Claude story wasn’t. I apologize for misleading you. I do my best, but nobody’s perfect.

- The bottom line is that nothing has changed. We’re waiting for the ground invasion and watching Iran and Israel fire missiles at each other. Fun times.

The Morning Constitutional: April 1st, 2026
https://www.mgtow.tv/watch/2026-04-01-08-00-38_MC27BBd5hVJIJCr.html
/watch/2026-04-01-08-00-38_MC27BBd5hVJIJCr.html

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 31st, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I’m once again searching for stuff on sale during Amazon’s Spring Sale, and I found a medical toolbox. I haven’t mentioned first aid kits before because most of them just contain bandages and some basic medication. You can just take an old backpack and put medical supplies in it, and it’ll be better and cheaper than most commercial first aid kits. However, this thing is more like a toolbox with different compartments to keep different materials separate. In fact, you could probably use a toolbox or a crafting box, but this one is white and feels more like a first aid kit than a repurposed tool or craft box would, and it’s on sale. It’s a good idea to keep all your medical supplies together so that you know what you have and know what you’re low on. Keep your bandages in one section, your medicines in another, your ointments and gels in another. 25% off, normally $40, on sale for $30. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0FLN6D2FX

- Let’s return to our regular analysis:

- The US dropped a tactical nuke on Iran’s missile city in Isfahan. The explosion is massive, but it’s unclear if it penetrated the mountain and destroyed the missile city. The explosion could be the missiles exploding within the city or the tactical nuke itself. Now that the Regime has used nukes, things are going to get spicy. The Regime has signaled to Russia and China that if you checkmate them and they can’t win, they’ll use nukes, and that will simply not stand. This just happened, so there has been no response yet.
source: https://x.com/A_G_L_G/status/2038770320304148625

- The ground invasion is still being prepared. It’s looking like it’s only about 10,000 or so troops, not 50,000, but this is likely intentional misinformation/propaganda. I expect the actual force to be closer to 50,000

- Regarding the markets, I was wondering what Trump was going to do to prop the markets up for another week since nobody believes his bullshit any longer, and the answer is that he threatened to destroy Iran and kill everyone in it, which caused the market to dump. Obviously, Iran didn’t surrender, and now the US is dropping tactical nukes. I wasn’t expecting the nukes to drop until after the ground invasion failed, but I guess we’re going to lead with the nukes and hope that Russia and China don’t say anything.
source: https://x.com/JesseBWatters/status/2038773832002023826 , https://www.rt.com/news/636737-trump-iran-more-threats/

- Sorry, I don’t have more information, but the Isfahan explosion happened an hour ago, and there's nothing in the media right now about it. Those weren’t just bunker busters. We’ve been hitting the missile cities with bunker busters all month, and they haven’t done shit. It will actually be interesting to see if they actually destroyed the missile city, or if the massive explosion was just from the tactical nuke itself, and didn’t even penetrate deep enough. These missile cities are 200 meters deep into a solid mountain, which is more or less the length of two football fields, but again, this just happened, so we don’t know if the massive explosion was merely a surface explosion or not.

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. WTI Crude Oil
o 2. Brent Crude Oil
o 3. Bonds
o 4. Financials
o 5. Bitcoin
o 6. Broad Commodities
o 7. Utilities

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Natural Gas
o 2. Crypto
o 3. Information Technology
o 4. Industrials
o 5. The VIX
o 6. Energy
o 7. Agriculture Commodities

- The markets are excited by the prospect of more money printing and stimulus. They believe the crash is cancelled and we’re just going to “money printer go brrrr” straight into hyperinflation with no brakes. Maybe they’re right, who knows? With the Middle East on fire and oil heading to $200 a barrel, there’s no way in hell we avoid a recession, even with all the manipulation, so the markets can only bet based on whether or not the government allows a crash before they fire up the money printer, or if they go straight to the money printer, bypass the recession, and go straight to stimulus and bailouts. If that happens, there’s nothing to invest in, just buy commodities, and since the futures market is broken, that means metals, since they’re the only commodity you can physically hold, which isn’t subject to market manipulation. Then we just wait for the hyperinflation.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/just-another-manic-monday-narrative-shifts-stone-age-fears-stimmy-watch-cheers , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/key-correlation-snaps-bond-market-starts-sniffing-out-next-stimulus

- Anyway, the ground invasion will likely happen tomorrow. There have been over 1,000 strikes in the last 24 hours in Iran, which is the MO for preparation of a ground invasion. They’re hoping to hit as much as possible so that they’re too busy dealing with the damage to defend themselves from the ground invasion. There is also a big announcement scheduled for tomorrow at 8 am by the “Department of War”, so my hunch is that it’s happening now. So here we go.
source: https://x.com/FinanceLancelot/status/2038756241468436969

- So the bottom line is that a lot just happened and may be happening shortly, and we’re just going to have to wait and see how it plays out. Using tactical nukes was unexpected, but what does the Regime have to lose at this point? I don’t see Iran cucking, and the Regime can’t defeat Iran with the 50,000 troops they have gathered, so to those about to die, we salute you.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 30th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I want to revisit some stuff that’s on sale right now during Amazon’s Spring Sale. I’m linking to a pair of night vision goggles that also function as a camera. You can attach it to a tripod and set it up for perimeter defense, or hold it in your hands and use it like a normal pair of goggles that can see in the dark. It’s normally $90, but currently 44% and available for $50. https://www.amazon.com/Night-Vision-Goggles-Adults-Binoculars/dp/B0FVCTR45Y

- Let’s return to our normal analysis:

- The spit-roasting of Israel continued today. The ground invasion is being prepared, but the issue is that I don’t think they know how they’re going to get the troops to Iran without taking missile fire. Flying a bomber to blow up a school and moving thousands of troops into position for a ground invasion are not the same thing.

- The Marines are preparing for their assault on Iranian islands to supposedly “open the Strait of Hormuz”, but the reason the Strait is “closed” is because Iran can shoot missiles at ships that try to go through without permission. They aren’t physically blocking anything, so landing troops on some islands changes nothing unless you can stop the missile attacks, which would require a full invasion of Iran. I am certain that the Marines are a distraction. I originally thought the Regime would use the Arabs as a distraction, but the Arabs have cucked out, so the Marines will be the distraction while the 82nd airborne, Rangers, Delta Force, etc., are all parachuted into Iran to conquer or die. That will be the final battle. SOCOM has about 20,000 operators. The 82nd has around 15,000 to 18,000 paratroopers. The number will be about 50,000 total, which is more or less what the original estimate was. These soldiers will not be replaced once they are lost.

- Also, since the US/Israel have begun attacking Iranian civilians, Iran gave them 24 hours to condemn Israel and hold them accountable for attacking civilians, or else Iran would begin retaliations. The Regime ignored the warning, and so the IRGC said they would begin targeting the residences of politicians in the region, and not just military targets. I’m sure the media is going to play their violin about how Iran attacked these innocent people and ignore the part that they attacked Iranian civilians first.
source: https://x.com/DD_Geopolitics/status/2038350202604843252

- As far as the markets go, they’re going to continue to be propped up using whatever contrivances the government can come up with. Everyone knows they’re lying, but they can’t stop lying. The ground invasion will decide everything.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/green-dot-sunday-non-negotiable-oil-stocks-down-war-begins-2nd-month , https://x.com/MyLordBebo/status/2038360363406684595

- Finally, as per the New York Times, the US is going to allow Russia to break the American blockade of Cuba and bring oil to Cuba without any interference. The future of Cuba will also be determined by the outcome of the ground invasion of Iran.
source: https://x.com/nytimes/status/2038367992715559000

- So the bottom line is that we’re waiting on the big battle, which will decide everything. I don’t see how logistically the US defeats Iran, a country the size of Western Europe with a population 1/3rd that of the US, with a million-man army, with 50,000 special forces. Seizing an island won’t stop the missiles at all. This is suicide. After that, we’ll see what Israel’s next move is, which will probably be nukes.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 27th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, Amazon is having a Spring sale, and solar generators are on sale. The one I’m linking to is a Jackery unit with a 200W solar panel for under $700, normally $1,300. A solar generator is more of a “nice to have” instead of a “need to have, but they’re on sale right now, so if you’ve got the money, you can save several hundred dollars right now. https://www.amazon.com/Jackery-Generator-Portable-Off-Grid-Emergency/dp/B0D2L1G66J

- Let’s return to our normal analysis:

- TLDR: we’re still waiting on the ground offensive. The markets crashed, so Trump announced a 10-day pause due to “ongoing talks” that aren’t happening. The normies are finally realizing that Trump is full of shit and just making stuff up to prop the market up, and oil prices swiftly recovered despite Trump’s lies about a 10-day pause. Has the Orange Boy who cried wolf learned a valuable lesson about lying?

- Supposedly, Trump needs more time to get another 10,000 troops, but another 10,000 troops isn’t going to make a difference, and with air defenses depleted, they need to act sooner rather than later, so I still expect the ground invasion to happen this weekend. Trump is trying to lazily misdirect his obviously telegraphed move by pretending to wait.

- The markets aren’t buying the lies any longer, but Trump made it to Thursday, so close and yet so far. Tomorrow is going to be a bloodbath financially, and the weekend is going to be a bloodbath literally. Again, Trump's delay of the ground operation makes no sense because the markets are crashing, and Israel is being hammered by missiles due to the lack of air defenses.

- As I said during the show, if the ground offensive goes as badly as I expect, I anticipate Israel to nuke Iran and for the US to call a global summit to avoid nuclear war. This allows the Regime to avoid admitting defeat by Iran while still settling things with Russia and China.

- Alternatively, if Trump tries to call a draft or double down on the war after the failed ground operation, I expect the Technocrats to have Trump removed and install JD Vance as President. They will throw Israel entirely under the bus (which is fully justified BTW) and take control of the Regime in an attempt to keep it from collapsing entirely.

- We’ll see what fresh lies Trump comes up with tomorrow to try to prop the markets up one more day. Today, the White House posted a bunch of digitized images just to distract people. They’re completely fucked and out of options.

- I’m not posting market rankings or articles because the media is in damage control mode, even Zero Hedge is running propaganda. The Regime is losing its shit right now. Next up is the ground invasion, and then the nukes; either way, it’ll be over soon, and then we can get back to the stagflationary depression, hyperinflation, and civil war.

- Here is the IRGC spokesman riding a skateboard with a selfie stick and drinking a beverage while missiles are launched at Israel: https://x.com/i/status/2037289422312419519

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 26th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- For today’s prep segment, I have an update regarding Project NOMAD. Several of you have confirmed that Linux on Android is a nightmare, so I took a closer look at Project NOMAD, and looked into the data sources that it uses and researched if I could access those sources using Android apps, and for the most part I could. I also researched some prepper sites and they recommended additional apps, so here is the list I came up with. You don’t need to worry about Project NOMAD and Linux, and most of these apps can be used offline if the internet goes down.

o KIWIX – This is the big one. It is an offline library app with an exhaustive list of books and documents you can download for later use. Here are some of the resources I downloaded.
 CD3WD Project – technical manuals for 3rd world developing countries to aid in sustainable development. Perfect for rebuilding society if needed. What’s good for shithole countries is even better for the post apocalypse.
 Medical Library – emergency medicine library
 Military Medicine – military medical manuals
 Project Gutenberg Library: Medicine – scanned digitized medical books
 USDA Guide to Home Canning
 WikEM – wiki for emergency medicine
 Wikipedia – an offline copy of Wikipedia

o OsmAnd – Offline maps with GPS functionality (if active)

o Seek by iNaturalist – Allows you to identify plants with your phone’s camera. Requires internet unfortunately.

o First Aid: American Red Cross

o Pet First Aid: American Red Cross

o Police Scanner 5.0: Allows you to listen in on the police scanner of your area

o Army Knots

o Llamao – This is another big one. The reason Project NOMAD required Linux is because Olama requires Linux. Llamao only has one free model, but you can unlock the others for $5, and frankly, having someone make these open source models compatible with Android so I don’t have to use Linux is worth $5. You get Llama 3.2 for free. There is even a version of Llama 3.2 with all the guardrails removed so it’s totally uncensored. You can even use Deepseek. These models all run locally on your phone privately and offline.

o Google Translate – You can use Google Translate offline, but you have to download the language packs ahead of time. This app is useful for obvious reasons.

o Bitchat/MeshCore/Meshtastic – I’ll talk more about these later, but all you need to know right now is that these allow you to text using your phone even if the cell network goes down with other people nearby who are on the same network (or mesh). Bitchat doesn’t require any additional hardware, but is short range (Wifi). MeshCore and Meshtastic have long range, and I’ll talk more about them another time. I’m just mentioning them here now because you’ll want these apps on your device.

o Kolibri – This was included in Project NOMAD as a learning resource. You can download educational material here, but it all has to be downloaded individually, so unless you have small kids and are planning to homeschool, this isn’t really worth it, but better than nothing. You’re better off just buying hardcopy versions of homeschool materials if you have kids, but I’m including the app here on this list because it was part of Project NOMAD.

o iHunt 750 – This app allows you to make animal sounds with your phone to assist with hunting, and has other useful tools for hunters to use.

o Finally there are two premium apps that cost $5, and are worth considering:
 SAS Survival Guide
 Smart Tools

- You can find all these apps just by searching for them, so I’m not providing any links. If you download these apps, you have all the functionality of Project NOMAD and then some without having to deal with LINUX at all. Hooray!

- Let’s return to today’s analysis

- There isn’t much to talk about that I didn’t already cover on the show. The ground invasion is happening this weekend, and everyone knows it, including Iran.

- With Iraq and Qatar siding with Iran, the Regime has recruited some Africans to be their disposable distraction fodder instead. Djibouti and Uganda has joined the fight for Israel. Die well, retards.

- We’ll see what happens this weekend. It’s going to be a disaster.

- The markets are just ignoring Trump’s constant lies about negotiations and just going along with it. The markets are rigged, what do you want me to say? It’s not going to matter once the ground invasion fails. A lot of Jews are expecting the war to be over in two weeks because its almost Passover, and they’re God’s chosen people, right? Surely they wouldn’t get their fucking asses kicked before Passover, would they?
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-bonds-shrug-oil-apprehension-about-peace-proposal-bitcoin-bullion-bid

- It’s not worth posting any market news, it’s all fake and gay.

- The bottom line is that this is it. It’s the countdown to the big final battle. Will the US take the Strait of Hormuz with a combination of marines, special forces, and airborne paratroopers alongside Arab and African mercenaries? Or will Iran blot out the sun with their drones and blow them all to hell? We’ll find out together this weekend. The markets will do whatever the government wants for the foreseeable future. We don’t have a market anymore, just a rigged casino.

The Morning Constitutional: March 25th, 2026
https://www.mgtow.tv/watch/the-morning-constitutional-march-25th-2026_R9D3h1u2g1YZsd3.html
/watch/the-morning-constitutional-march-25th-2026_R9D3h1u2g1YZsd3.html

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 24th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- I was busy all day trying to successfully put Linux on an old Samsung smartphone so I can have Project NOMAD on a phone, but it’s a nightmare. I hate Linux so much. The irony is that Android is based on Linux, so you’d think it would be easy, but you would be wrong. Once I figure it out, I’ll post a guide because I think having Project NOMAD on a phone is really important. I get why they need to have it on Linux. When shit goes down, you can only rely on open-source software, but it’s a pain in the ass. I’ll figure it out, though. If any of you have successfully put Linux on a phone or gotten Project NOMAD working, let me know.

- Let’s return to our normal analysis:

- What a crazy 24 hours. Apparently, the attack on Iran’s energy infrastructure was fake news (I do my best to find reliable sources, but nobody is perfect). In the morning, Trump announced that Iran is making a deal and that the Regime isn’t going to attack Iran’s energy, and they’ll give them 5 more days to work out the details of the deal. MAGA went nuts, the stock market rallied, oil futures crashed, and gold and silver crashed. Even Iran saying that it was bullshit repeatedly couldn’t darken people’s mood. I saw MAGAtards accusing Iran of lying about Trump lying and that they definitely made a deal because Trump 4D chess or some shit. Well, as soon as the markets closed, the Regime attacked Iran’s energy (it’s confirmed this time). Iran has already begun their counterattack. The UAE has no energy, and Iran is going to make the Middle East uninhabitable.
source: https://x.com/RickSanchezTV/status/2036100196031955328 , https://x.com/IRTruePromise/status/2036243051086283047

- So what the hell was all of this about? Why make up talks to pump up the markets for a single day? Well, it appears that it was just a ploy to make some money by manipulating stocks. They didn’t save the markets; they only bought themselves a single day, but insiders were able to buy right before the announcement and profit before the lie became obvious. I originally thought that Trump was trying to buy time for the ground invasion (which isn’t ready yet), but no, he was just trying to make some money through market manipulation and insider trading.
source: https://x.com/PeterLBrandt/status/2036219305000575417

- Anyway, let’s watch the fireworks together.

- I’m not even going to post the market movement today. It was all blatant market manipulation by Trump, knowingly lying about peace talks that he made up to manipulate the market for less than a day. I knew the casino was rigged, but goddamn, this is just criminal behavior.

- We’re going to see some serious shit this week. Anything could happen. The gloves are off, and Israel is doomed. I hope Demona gets destroyed quickly before they can launch the Samson Option, then we can do the YubYub dance.
source: https://x.com/IslanderWORLD/status/2036175700365889861

- The bottom line is that there’s too much going on to go over. Lots of unconfirmed reports that I’m not going to repot on until I know more and get confirmation that they aren’t bullshit. It’s going down, though, and the Regime is finished. Prepare for some serious shit. The economy and the markets will tank soon, especially as Iran reveals their hand and the Regime realizes how fucked they are.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 23rd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I have a huge update. There is a free project on GitHub called Project NOMAD, which is an all-in-one offline knowledge repository. It contains an information library, educational materials, maps, and a built-in AI to help with navigation, and it’s free. https://www.projectnomad.us/ The only catch is that it requires Linux, so if you want it for Android, you’ll need to install a Linux program and fiddle with it to make it work. I think that having an Android platform is important for power use purposes. A desktop is a power hog, but a smartphone isn’t. A smartphone is also much more mobile and can be taken with you and be handy when you need it most. However, while you’re fiddling with trying to get Linux working on your smartphone, get project NOMAD for your desktop right now and start familiarizing yourself with its features. It’s free, and it’s priceless. The biggest no-brainer I’ve ever mentioned in this newsletter.

- Back to “the happening” already in progress

- Trump didn’t wait the 48 hours and bombed Iran’s power grid less than an hour ago at the time of this writing. Iran published a list of everything they’ll hit if the US/Israel attack them, and they’ll make good on their promise shortly. The Middle East will soon become uninhabitable, especially for Israel and for the Arab countries that serve it. The ground invasion may be cancelled because it isn’t going to matter any longer. I guess Israel couldn’t tank another week of Iranian missile strikes to give the ground invasion time. Oh well, let’s get this over with.
source: https://x.com/apocalypseos/status/2035872887559835680 , https://x.com/WMX_MEDIA/status/2035873344071835702 , https://x.com/BinsaeedRashid/status/2035824085251285104 , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-threatens-region-wide-infrastructure-obliteration-trumps-48-hour-ultimatum-ticks

- The markets are going to puke, obviously. Oil is going to go to $200 once the laws of economics assert themselves. Oil is currently sitting at a mere $112.
source: https://x.com/CryptoNobler/status/2035826861343728035

- There’s no point speculating and talking about what happened on Friday or even today. This move by the Regime means the end of the Middle East. Now the only question is whether the Regime uses nukes on Iran once they retaliate. They have no other cards to play now. We’ve reached the end of the “escalation ladder”. We know what Iran will do, which is make good on their promise of retaliation, and then we will see if Trump actually nukes Iran. Do you want to know the best part of this, though? Iran’s mountain missile cities have been hit by dozens of bunker busters, and they keep shooting missiles. Even nukes can’t destroy a mountain, so even nuking Iran may not be enough. Sure, they can kill the civilian population, but they may not even be able to stop the missile attacks, and then what?

- The bottom line is that it’s happening this week. Nothing left to do but watch the fireworks. Depending on how this week shakes out, we could end up doing any number of things, so stay tuned and I’ll keep you updated as things develop.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 20th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, get a ferro rod to help with firestarting without any fuel. It makes sparks without electricity or fuel. You just need some kindling, and you can make fire. It makes a good backup firestarter solution. The one I’m linking to only costs $10. You can get cheaper ones, but they’re unreliable. Don’t overpay, but don’t necessarily buy the cheapest option either.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0DL4H1KF2

- Gold and silver are crashing. Some people are blaming the Arab Gulf states for selling their gold due to the Iran war to free up cash, but it's actually much more retarded than that. Normies believe the FED is going to jack rates up to 20% because that’s what they did in 1979 to fight stagflation. Long story short, during the stagflation of the 70s, oil and gold skyrocketed, and the FED raised rates to 20% in order to tame inflation, which ended the stagflation after a massive crash. Everyone is running to cash, expecting the FED to crash the market to fight inflation because that’s what they did in the 1970s. This is the ultimate chart-gazing move because it completely ignores the debt, the fact that the Regime can’t allow the market to crash or they lose their empire, etc. Their thought process simply involves looking for patterns and expecting them to repeat, and they’re using 1979 as confirmation that the FED is going to jack rates up, hence the crash in gold/silver and the dash to cash.
source: https://x.com/AlexMasonCrypto/status/2034723127671103902 , https://x.com/michaellebowitz/status/2034685248626098205 , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/new-funding-crisis-emerges-soaring-dollar-demand-slams-gold-drives-cross-currency-basis

- The government is also up to its old tricks and trying to suppress oil prices. Iran said it will stop attacking Arab energy infrastructure, but warned that if “Israel” attacks their energy again, they will wipe everything out. They’ve also warned that Israel is planning to false-flag Arab countries’ infrastructure and blame Iran, so this isn’t over, but the markets seem satisfied, and energy fell, and this has nothing to do with options expiring soon.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/oil-slides-us-supply-prospects-short-end-yields-rise-g10-central-banks-hold-firm-newsquawk

- I’m still watching silver and hoping to buy more. If the normies are so convinced that rates are going to 20%, good, I haven’t been able to take advantage of a free money truck in a while.

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Energy
o 2. Bonds
o 3. Information Technology
o 4. Agriculture Commodities
o 5. Financials
o Everything else was down.

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Gold
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Brent Crude Oil
o 4. Materials
o 5. Broad Commodities
o 6. Bitcoin
o 7. The US Dollar

- The FED jacking rates and intentionally crashing the market is absurd. This isn’t the 70s. The national debt in 1979 was less than $850B. Today it’s nearly $40T. About $8T in debt must be rolled over this year, or 20% of the entire national debt. Do these retards actually believe we’re going to jack up rates to 20% to fight inflation when the government is this broke?

- I talked about markets first instead of geopolitics because nothing really happened today. The Regime is back to ignoring reality and declaring that they won. Netanyahu (who isn’t AI) has declared that Iran’s nuclear program and missile production have been destroyed.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-threatens-blow-worlds-largest-gas-field-distances-us-israeli-actions-macron

- The US is also bypassing Congress to conduct emergency sales of weapons to the Arabs, presumably to go to war with Iran for them, but what weapons? Do these weapons exist, or are they promising to give them weapons down the road? Between Ukraine and Israel, everything is gone. The only thing I think they can do is sell their active inventory to the Arabs so that they can fight their wars for them, thus disarming themselves.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/us-fast-tracks-billions-emergency-arms-sales-gulf-bypassing-congress

- The missiles are still flying, but no new developments other than the Iranians shot down an F35, which is a first. The US is apparently out of stand-off missiles and tried using the F35 to bomb Iran, and it turns out the air defenses are still intact, contrary to what you’ve been told. Who knew? We’re still waiting for the ground invasion by the Marines, which is estimated to take place on the 25th at the earliest. The outcome of that ground invasion will determine the next move by the Regime. The Iranians claim that they are fully prepared and waiting for them, so we’ll see what surprises they have in store.
source: https://www.twz.com/air/usaf-f-35-makes-emergency-landing-after-allegedly-being-hit-by-iranian-fire

- The bottom line is that we’re in a lull at the moment. The big push will be when the ground invasion happens, which will be next week at the earliest. The Regime is doing its best to make the Arabs do the fighting for them, which is ironic since they’re tired of fighting, which is why they surrendered and allowed the Regime to rule over them, and now the Regime is making them fight anyway. Do you see now why freedom is worth dying for? Surrendering to avoid war just means you fight a different war as their conquered slave.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 19th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, consider communications equipment if you’re in a group. If the grid goes down, you’ll lose cell service. Meshtastic is ideal for a large group, but if you’re only worried about your family, some mid-level walkie-talkies with earpieces are sufficient. Why earpieces? So you can be quiet. Without earpieces, you have to have your volume turned up to hear incoming transmissions, and you’ll be easy to track. If you’re using an earpiece, you can communicate without announcing your position, but you can always remove the earpiece if you want. The ones I’m linking to are $10 each. These are not expensive at all, and you can get ones based on toys and cartoons if you have small children in your group. These will allow you to communicate over short to medium distances, but they’ll need to be recharged using a generator if the grid is down. https://www.amazon.com/pxton-Rechargeable-400-470Mhz-Transceiver-Flashlight/dp/B08HK5SXH1

- Let’s return to our regular analysis:

- As explained on the show today, Iran’s gas fields were attacked by Israel, and Iran attacked all the gas fields in the Gulf. The US told Israel not to attack Iran’s energy infrastructure again, hoping to de-escalate since their land invasion won’t be prepared until the 25th. Saudi Arabia threatened to go to war with Iran, and the Houthis entered the chat and said that they have their finger on the trigger and are waiting for orders. It’s worth noting that because the Strait of Hormuz is closed, all traffic has been redirected to the Red Sea, right where the Houthis are set up. My strong prediction is that the Arabs back off and STFU. If they try to attack Iran, they would be decimated. Their militaries are based on the US, made up of hand-me-down aircraft and reliant on airfields and nonexistent air defenses. It would be easy for Iran to cripple Saudi Arabia militarily in a single day by destroying its airfields, and then the Houthis can cripple Saudi Arabia economically and militarily from the South. The Iranians were keeping the Houthis back to keep the Arabs from being forced to join the Regime’s slave army, and probably saved their honor in the process. Hopefully, they’ll use this opportunity to think about their position. We had that Iraqi guy on the show talking about how the Arabs are tired of fighting, but when you surrender to the Regime to avoid fighting, they just force you to fight for them as their slaves.
source: https://x.com/Events_inYemen/status/2034413086883414210 , https://x.com/RT_com/status/2034433078077300901 , https://x.com/DD_Geopolitics/status/2034445508983320894

- So not much has changed. The ground invasion is still coming, and that will decide the next steps. Iran will just continue to bomb everyone while the US fires missiles at mountains uselessly until then. The US and Arabs will back down until then.
source: https://x.com/MyLordBebo/status/2034458082957197520 , https://x.com/MyLordBebo/status/2034459044950184151

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Brent Crude Oil
o 3. Natural Gas
o 4. WTI Crude Oil
o 5. Broad Commodities
o 6. Agriculture Commodities
o 7. The US Dollar

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Gold
o 3. Crypto
o 4. Materials
o 5. Consumer Staples
o 6. Consumer Discretionary
o 7. Healthcare

- So much for bullish stability, huh? Attacking the Iranian energy infrastructure was retarded, and Iran is showing that they’ll hold all the cards and have planned multiple moves. We’re just waiting for the ground invasion to watch this colossal fuck up enter its next phase.
- The markets are predictably fucked. High energy means high inflation, which means no rate cuts, which means recession. The AI bubble also relies on cheap energy and Middle Eastern investment, both of which are gone. It’s fucked.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/economics/greatest-risk-global-economy-stagflation-driven-governments-not-oil

- A ray of hope is that gold and silver are falling because if the FED raises rates to fight energy inflation, that means no money printing, and that’s bullish for the dollar and bearish for metals, but those analysts are stupid. The government has to cut rates because there are trillions of dollars in bonds due this year. It doesn’t matter what energy does. Silver is currently $76 on the futures market, finally breaking below $80. Speculators seem to be pivoting from silver to oil for obvious reasons, and the physical price is heading down (finally). It’s still a little high, but if it continues to go down, I’ll buy more silver.

- The bottom line is that the 25th is the estimated date of the ground invasion, where somewhere between 2,000 and 5,000 marines are going to die for Israel, and then we’ll see what Trump does after that. The only card they’ll have to play after that is to use nukes.

The Morning Constitutional: March 18th, 2026
https://www.mgtow.tv/watch/2026-03-18-08-00-27_3mBUN3jNS2zwA5J.html
/watch/2026-03-18-08-00-27_3mBUN3jNS2zwA5J.html

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 17th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, you can make your own toothpaste with coconut oil and baking soda. It’s super easy, and you should be stocking coconut oil and baking soda anyway because coconut oil has a 5+ year shelf life and a pleasant smell. I use it for candles and soap, as well as conditioning my cast-iron cookware. You can even use it as a lubricant. Coconut oil is awesome, but I’ve talked about coconut oil before. Baking soda is also an important product on its own. It’s used in baking (duh) but is also the main ingredient in Tums because it neutralizes acid. You can use it to put out grease fires and as a deodorizer. I’m sure you have some in your house right now. So the next time you’re low on toothpaste, instead of buying the latest platinum whitening paste with a hologram on the box that costs $10, make some toothpaste yourself for pennies. Here’s the recipe:

o Mix portions of coconut oil and baking soda 1:1 (for a chalky, gritty paste) or 2:1 (for a smoother paste). You can also add 10-20 drops of mint essential oil for flavor if you want, but it’s optional.
o Mix everything and put it in a container or a piping bag. That’s it, you made toothpaste. It’s that simple, two ingredients with optional flavoring. Be aware that this toothpaste does NOT contain any fluoride.

- Let’s return to our regular analysis:

- Trump is trying to get other countries to join him against Iran, and nobody is joining. Iran is telling the Arabs to stop cooperating with America and Israel and to join them as fellow Muslims. There was a report that Saudi Arabia is telling the US to hit Iran harder, but Saudi Arabia is denying it. There was also an EU delegation in Dubai that was killed using a drone that hit a hotel, but why would Iran kill an EU delegation? They don’t benefit from that at all, but America does since they’re trying to get Europe to enter the war, and the US has its own knock-off Iranian drones called LUCAS. The US has also attacked Arab countries to get them to enter the war against Iran as well, but so far, it hasn’t worked, thanks to Russian/Chinese satellites tracking the battlefield. Trump is so desperate that he sounds insane. He is having a nervous breakdown and doesn’t know what to do. This is what happens when a boomer realizes that doubling down endlessly wasn’t the right call after all.

- Regarding the Marine land invasion, the number has gone from 2,500 to 5,000, but now it’s only 2,000. The goal appears to be Kharg Island, which is Iran’s natural gas hub. The idea is that Iran’s economy relies on its energy exports, and seizing (or destroying) Kharg Island will cause the government to collapse or something. This is retarded because Iran has been sanctioned for so many years that they’ve become self-sufficient. Yes, they do export energy, but being sanctioned for so long has forced them to provide for their own needs domestically. They don’t rely on trade. They are self-sufficient, which is ideal for a war, and we’ve ironically made Iran much more resilient due to our years of sanctions against it. Destroying Kharg Island will not end the war, but it will cause Iran to destroy the infrastructure of Israel and the allied Arab states, which absolutely DO rely on trade. Iran is actually more economically resilient than any of its enemies.
source: https://www.navalnews.com/naval-news/2026/03/marine-expeditionary-unit-ordered-to-the-middle-east/

- So nothing has changed. We’re still waiting on the ground invasion, which will happen soon, either this week or next week. Trump has no other option, and he’s not going to take the “L”. The only alternative is to nuke Iran, which would lead to a global nuclear arms race since the US just proved that when they pull their “surrender or die” bullshit and they lose, they nuke you, so you everyone will need nukes to deter aggression from the US and Israel, and that’s assuming nobody does anything about Iran being nuked and Russia and Pakistan were lying for funsies.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/allies-balk-trump-pushes-joint-military-action-reopen-hormuz-iran-says-no-ceasefire-table

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Crypto
o 3. Information Technology
o 4. Consumer Discretionary
o 5. Communications Technology
o 6. Bonds
o 7. S&P 500 Index

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Natural Gas
o 4. Brent Crude Oil
o 5. Broad Commodities
o 6. Agriculture Commodities
o 7. The US Dollar

- Why is the market bullish? The war in Iran isn’t over or even getting better for the US in any measurable way, but you’ve forgotten, dear reader, that normies have a goldfish memory, and if the market crashes but the world doesn’t end, the normies will pour back into the market. The Iran War and the closing of the Strait of Hormuz don’t seem to be escalating, and if it’s not escalating, it’s stable, and if it’s stable, that’s bullish.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/oil-dumps-stocks-jump-strait-opens-ish-bitcoin-gold-down-again

- Escalation is up to Trump. Iran is winning and just has to outlast the Regime, thus the markets are perceiving the lack of escalation as stability. The ground invasion is the next shoe to drop. If Kharg Island is destroyed, Iran will retaliate, and you’ll see the market puke again. Trump won’t take the “L” so expect something stupid to happen in the next week or so.

- The bottom line is that nothing has changed. Iran will maintain the status quo until they bleed the Regime dry, so we’re just waiting to see how this Marine invasion goes. Even if the Marines take the island and cut off Iran’s gas exports, nothing will change. Iran is too economically resilient after years of sanctions to be bankrupted by one commodity export. A lot of marines are going to die for nothing, but at least things are happening, I suppose.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 16th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, consider a gravity water filter. I went over how to make one using 5-gallon buckets and various media like gravel and charcoal, but if you want something simple and ready to go, here is a stainless steel system for about $100 (25% off), which processes over 2 gallons at a time. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CCKXXRJC

- Let’s return to our normal analysis:

- Trump is claiming that anything showing Iran is winning is AI-generated and fake news, and that if the media doesn’t censor it, the government is going to pull their license. That’s how badly things are going.
source: https://x.com/DD_Geopolitics/status/2033333079008579769

- The American bases in Iraq are being destroyed. I don’t know what the casualties are, but if the US loses the airbases in Iraq, they won’t be able to conduct air-refueling over Iraqi airspace, and will no longer be able to bomb Iran outside of long-range missiles, which they’re running out of.
source: https://x.com/DD_Geopolitics/status/2033358701319585919

- No updates regarding the ground invasion at this time. I’m also getting conflicting reports on whether or not the number of Marines being sent in will be 2,500 or 5,000.
- Trump is threatening NATO that if Europe doesn’t send its navies to help fight Iran, there will be a “very bad future”. This just gets better and better.
source: https://www.ft.com/content/1ca6d121-760b-4ec5-b6ad-514fdaa94873 , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/risking-energy-assets-across-region-trump-crosses-iran-red-line-bombing-kharg-island

- Meanwhile, in the markets, oil and metals are falling because the war is over, Iran has been destroyed, and the Strait of Hormuz is open! None of that is true, but the media is saying it, so it must be true. I told you at the beginning that it could take months before the true extent of the failure is admitted, similar to the failed Ukrainian counteroffensive in 2023. This ground invasion with the Marines is pretty much their last chance to turn this around. If the Marines are slaughtered, it's likely over, but the propaganda and censorship will be turned up to 11 if only to buy time.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/oil-lpg-tankers-cross-hormuz-strait-hinting-back-channel-coordination

- I’m also seeing more and more people shilling for Israel and saying that they need to support Israel. Today, I even saw someone on X that I’ve never interacted with before, claiming that I’ve betrayed everything I stood for, and I’m harming MGTOW because I am not standing with Israel. I’ve never seen this motherfucker in my life, and I’ve been pro-BRICS for years, but now I’m hurting MGTOW itself because I don’t support Israel? Why are all these Israel shills showing up everywhere? Against me, a fucking nobody who reviews sex dolls? Shit’s crazy out there.

- The bottom line is that everything is working out as I expected, with Iran exceeding my expectations. Regarding Cuba, there is nothing confirmed, just Trump saying that Cuba wants to make a deal, but he’s been lying his ass off about Iran begging ot make a deal, so take Trump with a massive grain of salt. We’ll see how the ground invasion goes and see what happens next.