Monkey’s Market Minute: April 9th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- The ceasefire is basically over. The Strait of Hormuz is closed again, and Trump said the 10 points he agreed to are trash. The US tricked Iran into agreeing to a ceasefire so they can rearm, and Iran is playing along while only attacking Israel for some reason. The UAE attacked Iran, so the fighting didn’t stop. I’m concerned about Iran still moving forward with the planned negotiations in Pakistan despite the obvious bad faith of the US. I guess they need to be betrayed a third time in a row for some reason. I don’t think they’re cucking though, at least not yet.
source: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/apr/08/pakistan-us-israel-iran-ceasefire

- In Technocrat news, Tucker Carlson and Joe Kent are warning that Israel is controlling Trump and that Trump is leaving NATO to attack Turkey on behalf of Israel. Also, Trump threatened the Pope, like the actual Pope of the Catholic church. This is significant because, according to Kash Patel’s Mossad-assigned girlfriend, the Catholic church is somehow involved with the Technocrats in ways that I don’t fully understand, other than that they aren’t Zionists. Anyway, threatening the Pope wasn’t on my Bingo card. JD Vance is a Catholic, BTW, so the plot thickens regarding the Technocrats.

- There isn’t much else to talk about. I’m unsure what Iran is doing playing along with the negotiations. The markets rallied on the ceasefire for obvious reasons and are optimistic that the war is over, despite the missiles flying. The reason is simple: the markets don’t follow reality; they follow the TV. The TV says Trump won and Iran surrendered, so that’s why the market reacted. If the TV notifies the normies that Trump lied, then the markets will reverse. It’s actually shocking how blindly the markets continue to trust Trump after so many lies, but c’est la vie.

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Crypto
o 2. Industrials
o 3. Materials
o 4. Bitcoin
o 5. Information Technology
o 6. Consumer Discretionary
o 7. Financials

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Brent Crude Oil
o 3. WTI Crude Oil
o 4. Natural Gas
o 5. Broad Commodities
o 6. Energy
o 7. The US Dollar

- I’m not sure why I’m even mentioning the markets since they’re just being manipulated by Trump’s lies and bullshit.

- So the bottom line is that Trump lied and tricked Iran into agreeing to a ceasefire, and he’s not doing anything he promised, so I don’t know what Iran is waiting for. Why are they playing along with this? They’re giving the impression that they’re cucking, but why would they do that when they were winning? Am I missing something? I’m seeing a lot of theories floating around social media, ranging from a tactical consideration to betrayal by government insiders. We’ll just have to see what happens.

The Morning Constitutional: April 8th, 2026
https://www.mgtow.tv/watch/2026-04-08-08-00-46_nI7CVTGYBl1lzRF.html
/watch/2026-04-08-08-00-46_nI7CVTGYBl1lzRF.html

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 7th, 2026

Tonight’s the night. The Regime is running out of missiles globally, and they’re launching their big attack. The ground invasion will almost certainly coincide with the bombing campaign. If the dust settles and Iran stands, I expect nukes to be used. No point talking about anything else, including the markets, because everything will be decided on the battlefield.

However, since I don’t want you to feel like I’m being lazy tonight, let’s talk about MeshCore/Meshtastic. These are technologies that allow you to use your smartphone to send and receive text messages without a network. Each device acts as a repeater, so the more people on the network, the faster and longer the range it is. It can’t be shut down by the government because there is no central hub; the entire network is distributed. The Regime promoted this technology for Iranian protestors earlier this year to get around Iran shutting the internet down during the coup attempt. That’s how powerful this technology is, and it’s not expensive. The apps are free, just search for “MeshCore” or “Meshtastic” in the app store. Those are two different networks with pros and cons, but we’ll talk about that later.

As far as hardware, a basic unit costs about $20 if you want to DIY it yourself and flash the drive. If you want a ready-made solution that works out of the box, it’s about $30. The unit I’m linking to is a two-pack for $65. Why two units? Well, you can keep one in your house and one in your car, or you could flash one for MeshCore and one for Meshtastic so that you have access to both networks. It’s up to you.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0F1CYWVLC

MeshCore/Meshtastic has its own community similar to ham radio operators, but they’re great not only for disaster preparation but if you’re an outdoor guy and like to camp in places where your cellphone doesn’t get good service, MeshCore/Meshtastic can be more reliable than a cellphone provider, and unlike something like Starlink, the units are small, cheap, and have no fees. You are the network.

The main difference between Meshtastic and MeshCore is how the traffic is forwarded. MeshCore is a newer and more reliable technology, so if you’re starting a network from scratch, go with MeshCore. However, Meshtastic has a lot of large established networks due to it being an older protocol, so if you’re looking to join a larger and more established network so that your devices have a longer range, Meshtastic might be better. Again, you can have both if you get the two-pack and install MeshCore on one device and Meshtastic on the other. Then you can switch between the two apps on your phone and use the one that works for you at that time.

MeshCore and Meshtastic may not be appropriate for everyone. If you’re going to be a wasteland warlord or operate in only a small group, a walkie-talkie might be all you need. However, walkie-talkies don’t scale well to larger organizations, which is where these other technologies fit in. There are lots of YouTube channels dedicated to the MeshCore/Meshtasic hobby and community, but you don’t have to become an expert to get started and have your communications infrastructure in place. Being able to communicate with your loved ones in an emergency when cell service is offline is priceless.

That’s all I’m going to talk about tonight. There’s no point talking about the markets or anything because it’s all going to be decided on the battlefield. See you tomorrow!

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 6th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- I’ll be taking a break from the prep segment until I see something worth sharing. It won’t be a daily segment any longer, but more of a “here’s something I found that’s interesting that I haven’t mentioned before” thing.

- Supposedly Trump is going to destroy all the energy infrastructure in Iran in 24 hours, after which Iran will make the Middle East uninhabitable, even for Israel. I fully expect Trump to declare another round of negotiations and delay the promised attack until Friday, but we’ll see.
source: https://x.com/Phoxotic/status/2040960218071285799

- The plane that was shot down was resolved. According to western media, the pilot was saved and the planes that were destroyed weren’t shot down but were “stuck in sand” and the US blew them up themselves to prevent them from being captured. However, Iran has pictures of bodies in the planes, which wouldn’t make sense if they were stuck in sand and abandoned. It doesn’t really matter as the details of the rescue change literally nothing.
source: https://x.com/visionergeo/status/2040851407742660616 , https://x.com/MaxtheCrowhouse/status/2040937538970402979

- Iran released a video showing the new supreme leader in front of a monitor in an operations room with an image of Israel’s Demona nuclear facility and its coordinates, obviously as a warning that if Trump attacks their energy, they’re going to take out Demona.
source: https://x.com/realgerhardtvdm/status/2040967513471844629

- Ground invasion soon maybe? We’ll see.

- As far as the markets go, oil is around $110 The markets will likely be down as Trump seems to have given up trying to lie about the war being over since nobody believes him anyway.

- The bottom line is we’re still waiting on the ground invasion.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 3rd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I am actually running out of stuff to recommend that we haven’t already covered. Like I’ve said, it doesn’t take THAT much money to have a full disaster prep kit. The big ticket items like generators are obvious, but most disaster prep isn’t about having a $1,000 generator; it’s about having a little extra and knowing how to make it last and function without electricity. So in the spirit of that, for today I want to recommend the jar opener I use, which may be interesting to you because I have arthritis and have wasted more money than I want to admit buying jar openers that don’t work. This is the jar opening I use, and no, it doesn’t use electricity. It screws underneath a cabinet, and you just stick the jar into the teeth and turn it with both hands. It works way better than any other jar opener I’ve tried, and it’s not expensive. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09R8HBFQ9

- Let’s return to our regular analysis:

- Not much happened today in the Iran War. Pete Hegseth is firing a bunch of top generals who are warning him not to launch a ground invasion of Iran. He’s fired the Army Chief of Staff, two additional top generals, and the Army Chaplain of all people. It’s a really bad sign when your generals are telling you not to do something and that it’s suicide, and instead of listening to them, you fire them. I’m sure this is going to work out swimmingly.
source: https://x.com/OCOCReport/status/2039840624048828713 , https://x.com/disclosetv/status/2039866517311955062 , https://x.com/RT_com/status/2039881185556394027

- Still no idea when the ground invasion is going to happen. The smart money is this weekend, but who knows? With generals being fired, the military might be on the verge of mutiny. This is a very good sign for America’s future. It means that when the “moment of truth” happens, perhaps the military will actually do the right thing. I’m not saying the odds are favorable, but it’s possible.

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. WTI Crude Oil
o 2. Brent Crude Oil
o 3. Broad Commodities
o 4. Real Estate
o 5. Bonds
o 6. Information Technology
o 7. Energy

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Gold
o 3. Bitcoin
o 4. Consumer Discretionary
o 5. Natural Gas
o 6. Healthcare
o 7. Industrials

- Trump didn’t even try to prop the markets up today. They’re preparing for the ground invasion, and Trump is even saying that he’s going to cut welfare spending next year to increase the military budget, pretty much writing the Democrats’ campaign ads for them. He sacrificed everything for Israel and still lost. I hope the underage girls you fucked on that island were worth it.

- So the bottom line is that nothing happened today, and we’re still waiting on the big ground offensive to happen so we can move on to see if Israel launches nukes or if Trump is removed and JD Vance becomes President. Those are the two most likely scenarios based on my estimation. Be aware that I can’t see the future, and maybe they do something stupid that I didn’t consider, so don’t go betting on Polymarket and be mad at me if you lose money.

- Everyone got their nickels? You might want to get your nickels.

Monkey’s Market Minute: April 2nd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I have an accessory for your mason jars, and that’s an electric vacuum sealer. If you use a vacuum sealer, you can use mason jars to dry pack things without using oxygen absorbers, which allows you to store dry goods long-term. This unit is electric, and while there are manual vacuum sealers, they cost 4X as much, and it’s not really worth it. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0GQ96RFN1

- Let’s return to our regular analysis:

- Not much to talk about since the show, unfortunately. Trump’s big announcement was that he’s going to send Iran “back to the stone age” over the next couple of weeks and essentially destroy everything, and Iran will do the same to Israel, so what’s changed? Nothing. No update regarding the ground offensive. Some people were expecting Trump to announce the war is over and call it quits, but he just continued to make threats and pout. This was after he lied his ass off about Iran begging for a ceasefire this morning. The markets crashed over Trump’s comments because they apparently thought Trump was finally going to TACO and end the war.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/uae-poised-join-anti-iran-operations-trump-rips-nato-paper-tiger-says-exit-beyond

- So we’re back to “we’ll see” apparently. While Trump decides when he’s going to launch the ground invasion, Iran will continue to spit-roast Israel with Hezbollah and the Houthis, so it’s not all bad.

- The markets are still fake and gay and will continue to be so until the government comes clean. The normies will just follow the TV, and the numbers will move based on whatever lie Trump says that day. It’s not even worth following until the war becomes more obvious to the average investor.

- Lastly, the Claude AI leak I reported on the show was apparently an elaborate April Fools' joke, and the code wasn’t leaked. The AI bubble is still fucked, and the RAM story involving OpenAI was real, but the Claude story wasn’t. I apologize for misleading you. I do my best, but nobody’s perfect.

- The bottom line is that nothing has changed. We’re waiting for the ground invasion and watching Iran and Israel fire missiles at each other. Fun times.

The Morning Constitutional: April 1st, 2026
https://www.mgtow.tv/watch/2026-04-01-08-00-38_MC27BBd5hVJIJCr.html
/watch/2026-04-01-08-00-38_MC27BBd5hVJIJCr.html

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 31st, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I’m once again searching for stuff on sale during Amazon’s Spring Sale, and I found a medical toolbox. I haven’t mentioned first aid kits before because most of them just contain bandages and some basic medication. You can just take an old backpack and put medical supplies in it, and it’ll be better and cheaper than most commercial first aid kits. However, this thing is more like a toolbox with different compartments to keep different materials separate. In fact, you could probably use a toolbox or a crafting box, but this one is white and feels more like a first aid kit than a repurposed tool or craft box would, and it’s on sale. It’s a good idea to keep all your medical supplies together so that you know what you have and know what you’re low on. Keep your bandages in one section, your medicines in another, your ointments and gels in another. 25% off, normally $40, on sale for $30. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0FLN6D2FX

- Let’s return to our regular analysis:

- The US dropped a tactical nuke on Iran’s missile city in Isfahan. The explosion is massive, but it’s unclear if it penetrated the mountain and destroyed the missile city. The explosion could be the missiles exploding within the city or the tactical nuke itself. Now that the Regime has used nukes, things are going to get spicy. The Regime has signaled to Russia and China that if you checkmate them and they can’t win, they’ll use nukes, and that will simply not stand. This just happened, so there has been no response yet.
source: https://x.com/A_G_L_G/status/2038770320304148625

- The ground invasion is still being prepared. It’s looking like it’s only about 10,000 or so troops, not 50,000, but this is likely intentional misinformation/propaganda. I expect the actual force to be closer to 50,000

- Regarding the markets, I was wondering what Trump was going to do to prop the markets up for another week since nobody believes his bullshit any longer, and the answer is that he threatened to destroy Iran and kill everyone in it, which caused the market to dump. Obviously, Iran didn’t surrender, and now the US is dropping tactical nukes. I wasn’t expecting the nukes to drop until after the ground invasion failed, but I guess we’re going to lead with the nukes and hope that Russia and China don’t say anything.
source: https://x.com/JesseBWatters/status/2038773832002023826 , https://www.rt.com/news/636737-trump-iran-more-threats/

- Sorry, I don’t have more information, but the Isfahan explosion happened an hour ago, and there's nothing in the media right now about it. Those weren’t just bunker busters. We’ve been hitting the missile cities with bunker busters all month, and they haven’t done shit. It will actually be interesting to see if they actually destroyed the missile city, or if the massive explosion was just from the tactical nuke itself, and didn’t even penetrate deep enough. These missile cities are 200 meters deep into a solid mountain, which is more or less the length of two football fields, but again, this just happened, so we don’t know if the massive explosion was merely a surface explosion or not.

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. WTI Crude Oil
o 2. Brent Crude Oil
o 3. Bonds
o 4. Financials
o 5. Bitcoin
o 6. Broad Commodities
o 7. Utilities

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Natural Gas
o 2. Crypto
o 3. Information Technology
o 4. Industrials
o 5. The VIX
o 6. Energy
o 7. Agriculture Commodities

- The markets are excited by the prospect of more money printing and stimulus. They believe the crash is cancelled and we’re just going to “money printer go brrrr” straight into hyperinflation with no brakes. Maybe they’re right, who knows? With the Middle East on fire and oil heading to $200 a barrel, there’s no way in hell we avoid a recession, even with all the manipulation, so the markets can only bet based on whether or not the government allows a crash before they fire up the money printer, or if they go straight to the money printer, bypass the recession, and go straight to stimulus and bailouts. If that happens, there’s nothing to invest in, just buy commodities, and since the futures market is broken, that means metals, since they’re the only commodity you can physically hold, which isn’t subject to market manipulation. Then we just wait for the hyperinflation.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/just-another-manic-monday-narrative-shifts-stone-age-fears-stimmy-watch-cheers , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/key-correlation-snaps-bond-market-starts-sniffing-out-next-stimulus

- Anyway, the ground invasion will likely happen tomorrow. There have been over 1,000 strikes in the last 24 hours in Iran, which is the MO for preparation of a ground invasion. They’re hoping to hit as much as possible so that they’re too busy dealing with the damage to defend themselves from the ground invasion. There is also a big announcement scheduled for tomorrow at 8 am by the “Department of War”, so my hunch is that it’s happening now. So here we go.
source: https://x.com/FinanceLancelot/status/2038756241468436969

- So the bottom line is that a lot just happened and may be happening shortly, and we’re just going to have to wait and see how it plays out. Using tactical nukes was unexpected, but what does the Regime have to lose at this point? I don’t see Iran cucking, and the Regime can’t defeat Iran with the 50,000 troops they have gathered, so to those about to die, we salute you.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 30th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I want to revisit some stuff that’s on sale right now during Amazon’s Spring Sale. I’m linking to a pair of night vision goggles that also function as a camera. You can attach it to a tripod and set it up for perimeter defense, or hold it in your hands and use it like a normal pair of goggles that can see in the dark. It’s normally $90, but currently 44% and available for $50. https://www.amazon.com/Night-Vision-Goggles-Adults-Binoculars/dp/B0FVCTR45Y

- Let’s return to our normal analysis:

- The spit-roasting of Israel continued today. The ground invasion is being prepared, but the issue is that I don’t think they know how they’re going to get the troops to Iran without taking missile fire. Flying a bomber to blow up a school and moving thousands of troops into position for a ground invasion are not the same thing.

- The Marines are preparing for their assault on Iranian islands to supposedly “open the Strait of Hormuz”, but the reason the Strait is “closed” is because Iran can shoot missiles at ships that try to go through without permission. They aren’t physically blocking anything, so landing troops on some islands changes nothing unless you can stop the missile attacks, which would require a full invasion of Iran. I am certain that the Marines are a distraction. I originally thought the Regime would use the Arabs as a distraction, but the Arabs have cucked out, so the Marines will be the distraction while the 82nd airborne, Rangers, Delta Force, etc., are all parachuted into Iran to conquer or die. That will be the final battle. SOCOM has about 20,000 operators. The 82nd has around 15,000 to 18,000 paratroopers. The number will be about 50,000 total, which is more or less what the original estimate was. These soldiers will not be replaced once they are lost.

- Also, since the US/Israel have begun attacking Iranian civilians, Iran gave them 24 hours to condemn Israel and hold them accountable for attacking civilians, or else Iran would begin retaliations. The Regime ignored the warning, and so the IRGC said they would begin targeting the residences of politicians in the region, and not just military targets. I’m sure the media is going to play their violin about how Iran attacked these innocent people and ignore the part that they attacked Iranian civilians first.
source: https://x.com/DD_Geopolitics/status/2038350202604843252

- As far as the markets go, they’re going to continue to be propped up using whatever contrivances the government can come up with. Everyone knows they’re lying, but they can’t stop lying. The ground invasion will decide everything.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/green-dot-sunday-non-negotiable-oil-stocks-down-war-begins-2nd-month , https://x.com/MyLordBebo/status/2038360363406684595

- Finally, as per the New York Times, the US is going to allow Russia to break the American blockade of Cuba and bring oil to Cuba without any interference. The future of Cuba will also be determined by the outcome of the ground invasion of Iran.
source: https://x.com/nytimes/status/2038367992715559000

- So the bottom line is that we’re waiting on the big battle, which will decide everything. I don’t see how logistically the US defeats Iran, a country the size of Western Europe with a population 1/3rd that of the US, with a million-man army, with 50,000 special forces. Seizing an island won’t stop the missiles at all. This is suicide. After that, we’ll see what Israel’s next move is, which will probably be nukes.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 27th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, Amazon is having a Spring sale, and solar generators are on sale. The one I’m linking to is a Jackery unit with a 200W solar panel for under $700, normally $1,300. A solar generator is more of a “nice to have” instead of a “need to have, but they’re on sale right now, so if you’ve got the money, you can save several hundred dollars right now. https://www.amazon.com/Jackery-Generator-Portable-Off-Grid-Emergency/dp/B0D2L1G66J

- Let’s return to our normal analysis:

- TLDR: we’re still waiting on the ground offensive. The markets crashed, so Trump announced a 10-day pause due to “ongoing talks” that aren’t happening. The normies are finally realizing that Trump is full of shit and just making stuff up to prop the market up, and oil prices swiftly recovered despite Trump’s lies about a 10-day pause. Has the Orange Boy who cried wolf learned a valuable lesson about lying?

- Supposedly, Trump needs more time to get another 10,000 troops, but another 10,000 troops isn’t going to make a difference, and with air defenses depleted, they need to act sooner rather than later, so I still expect the ground invasion to happen this weekend. Trump is trying to lazily misdirect his obviously telegraphed move by pretending to wait.

- The markets aren’t buying the lies any longer, but Trump made it to Thursday, so close and yet so far. Tomorrow is going to be a bloodbath financially, and the weekend is going to be a bloodbath literally. Again, Trump's delay of the ground operation makes no sense because the markets are crashing, and Israel is being hammered by missiles due to the lack of air defenses.

- As I said during the show, if the ground offensive goes as badly as I expect, I anticipate Israel to nuke Iran and for the US to call a global summit to avoid nuclear war. This allows the Regime to avoid admitting defeat by Iran while still settling things with Russia and China.

- Alternatively, if Trump tries to call a draft or double down on the war after the failed ground operation, I expect the Technocrats to have Trump removed and install JD Vance as President. They will throw Israel entirely under the bus (which is fully justified BTW) and take control of the Regime in an attempt to keep it from collapsing entirely.

- We’ll see what fresh lies Trump comes up with tomorrow to try to prop the markets up one more day. Today, the White House posted a bunch of digitized images just to distract people. They’re completely fucked and out of options.

- I’m not posting market rankings or articles because the media is in damage control mode, even Zero Hedge is running propaganda. The Regime is losing its shit right now. Next up is the ground invasion, and then the nukes; either way, it’ll be over soon, and then we can get back to the stagflationary depression, hyperinflation, and civil war.

- Here is the IRGC spokesman riding a skateboard with a selfie stick and drinking a beverage while missiles are launched at Israel: https://x.com/i/status/2037289422312419519

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 26th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- For today’s prep segment, I have an update regarding Project NOMAD. Several of you have confirmed that Linux on Android is a nightmare, so I took a closer look at Project NOMAD, and looked into the data sources that it uses and researched if I could access those sources using Android apps, and for the most part I could. I also researched some prepper sites and they recommended additional apps, so here is the list I came up with. You don’t need to worry about Project NOMAD and Linux, and most of these apps can be used offline if the internet goes down.

o KIWIX – This is the big one. It is an offline library app with an exhaustive list of books and documents you can download for later use. Here are some of the resources I downloaded.
 CD3WD Project – technical manuals for 3rd world developing countries to aid in sustainable development. Perfect for rebuilding society if needed. What’s good for shithole countries is even better for the post apocalypse.
 Medical Library – emergency medicine library
 Military Medicine – military medical manuals
 Project Gutenberg Library: Medicine – scanned digitized medical books
 USDA Guide to Home Canning
 WikEM – wiki for emergency medicine
 Wikipedia – an offline copy of Wikipedia

o OsmAnd – Offline maps with GPS functionality (if active)

o Seek by iNaturalist – Allows you to identify plants with your phone’s camera. Requires internet unfortunately.

o First Aid: American Red Cross

o Pet First Aid: American Red Cross

o Police Scanner 5.0: Allows you to listen in on the police scanner of your area

o Army Knots

o Llamao – This is another big one. The reason Project NOMAD required Linux is because Olama requires Linux. Llamao only has one free model, but you can unlock the others for $5, and frankly, having someone make these open source models compatible with Android so I don’t have to use Linux is worth $5. You get Llama 3.2 for free. There is even a version of Llama 3.2 with all the guardrails removed so it’s totally uncensored. You can even use Deepseek. These models all run locally on your phone privately and offline.

o Google Translate – You can use Google Translate offline, but you have to download the language packs ahead of time. This app is useful for obvious reasons.

o Bitchat/MeshCore/Meshtastic – I’ll talk more about these later, but all you need to know right now is that these allow you to text using your phone even if the cell network goes down with other people nearby who are on the same network (or mesh). Bitchat doesn’t require any additional hardware, but is short range (Wifi). MeshCore and Meshtastic have long range, and I’ll talk more about them another time. I’m just mentioning them here now because you’ll want these apps on your device.

o Kolibri – This was included in Project NOMAD as a learning resource. You can download educational material here, but it all has to be downloaded individually, so unless you have small kids and are planning to homeschool, this isn’t really worth it, but better than nothing. You’re better off just buying hardcopy versions of homeschool materials if you have kids, but I’m including the app here on this list because it was part of Project NOMAD.

o iHunt 750 – This app allows you to make animal sounds with your phone to assist with hunting, and has other useful tools for hunters to use.

o Finally there are two premium apps that cost $5, and are worth considering:
 SAS Survival Guide
 Smart Tools

- You can find all these apps just by searching for them, so I’m not providing any links. If you download these apps, you have all the functionality of Project NOMAD and then some without having to deal with LINUX at all. Hooray!

- Let’s return to today’s analysis

- There isn’t much to talk about that I didn’t already cover on the show. The ground invasion is happening this weekend, and everyone knows it, including Iran.

- With Iraq and Qatar siding with Iran, the Regime has recruited some Africans to be their disposable distraction fodder instead. Djibouti and Uganda has joined the fight for Israel. Die well, retards.

- We’ll see what happens this weekend. It’s going to be a disaster.

- The markets are just ignoring Trump’s constant lies about negotiations and just going along with it. The markets are rigged, what do you want me to say? It’s not going to matter once the ground invasion fails. A lot of Jews are expecting the war to be over in two weeks because its almost Passover, and they’re God’s chosen people, right? Surely they wouldn’t get their fucking asses kicked before Passover, would they?
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-bonds-shrug-oil-apprehension-about-peace-proposal-bitcoin-bullion-bid

- It’s not worth posting any market news, it’s all fake and gay.

- The bottom line is that this is it. It’s the countdown to the big final battle. Will the US take the Strait of Hormuz with a combination of marines, special forces, and airborne paratroopers alongside Arab and African mercenaries? Or will Iran blot out the sun with their drones and blow them all to hell? We’ll find out together this weekend. The markets will do whatever the government wants for the foreseeable future. We don’t have a market anymore, just a rigged casino.

The Morning Constitutional: March 25th, 2026
https://www.mgtow.tv/watch/the-morning-constitutional-march-25th-2026_R9D3h1u2g1YZsd3.html
/watch/the-morning-constitutional-march-25th-2026_R9D3h1u2g1YZsd3.html

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 24th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- I was busy all day trying to successfully put Linux on an old Samsung smartphone so I can have Project NOMAD on a phone, but it’s a nightmare. I hate Linux so much. The irony is that Android is based on Linux, so you’d think it would be easy, but you would be wrong. Once I figure it out, I’ll post a guide because I think having Project NOMAD on a phone is really important. I get why they need to have it on Linux. When shit goes down, you can only rely on open-source software, but it’s a pain in the ass. I’ll figure it out, though. If any of you have successfully put Linux on a phone or gotten Project NOMAD working, let me know.

- Let’s return to our normal analysis:

- What a crazy 24 hours. Apparently, the attack on Iran’s energy infrastructure was fake news (I do my best to find reliable sources, but nobody is perfect). In the morning, Trump announced that Iran is making a deal and that the Regime isn’t going to attack Iran’s energy, and they’ll give them 5 more days to work out the details of the deal. MAGA went nuts, the stock market rallied, oil futures crashed, and gold and silver crashed. Even Iran saying that it was bullshit repeatedly couldn’t darken people’s mood. I saw MAGAtards accusing Iran of lying about Trump lying and that they definitely made a deal because Trump 4D chess or some shit. Well, as soon as the markets closed, the Regime attacked Iran’s energy (it’s confirmed this time). Iran has already begun their counterattack. The UAE has no energy, and Iran is going to make the Middle East uninhabitable.
source: https://x.com/RickSanchezTV/status/2036100196031955328 , https://x.com/IRTruePromise/status/2036243051086283047

- So what the hell was all of this about? Why make up talks to pump up the markets for a single day? Well, it appears that it was just a ploy to make some money by manipulating stocks. They didn’t save the markets; they only bought themselves a single day, but insiders were able to buy right before the announcement and profit before the lie became obvious. I originally thought that Trump was trying to buy time for the ground invasion (which isn’t ready yet), but no, he was just trying to make some money through market manipulation and insider trading.
source: https://x.com/PeterLBrandt/status/2036219305000575417

- Anyway, let’s watch the fireworks together.

- I’m not even going to post the market movement today. It was all blatant market manipulation by Trump, knowingly lying about peace talks that he made up to manipulate the market for less than a day. I knew the casino was rigged, but goddamn, this is just criminal behavior.

- We’re going to see some serious shit this week. Anything could happen. The gloves are off, and Israel is doomed. I hope Demona gets destroyed quickly before they can launch the Samson Option, then we can do the YubYub dance.
source: https://x.com/IslanderWORLD/status/2036175700365889861

- The bottom line is that there’s too much going on to go over. Lots of unconfirmed reports that I’m not going to repot on until I know more and get confirmation that they aren’t bullshit. It’s going down, though, and the Regime is finished. Prepare for some serious shit. The economy and the markets will tank soon, especially as Iran reveals their hand and the Regime realizes how fucked they are.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 23rd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I have a huge update. There is a free project on GitHub called Project NOMAD, which is an all-in-one offline knowledge repository. It contains an information library, educational materials, maps, and a built-in AI to help with navigation, and it’s free. https://www.projectnomad.us/ The only catch is that it requires Linux, so if you want it for Android, you’ll need to install a Linux program and fiddle with it to make it work. I think that having an Android platform is important for power use purposes. A desktop is a power hog, but a smartphone isn’t. A smartphone is also much more mobile and can be taken with you and be handy when you need it most. However, while you’re fiddling with trying to get Linux working on your smartphone, get project NOMAD for your desktop right now and start familiarizing yourself with its features. It’s free, and it’s priceless. The biggest no-brainer I’ve ever mentioned in this newsletter.

- Back to “the happening” already in progress

- Trump didn’t wait the 48 hours and bombed Iran’s power grid less than an hour ago at the time of this writing. Iran published a list of everything they’ll hit if the US/Israel attack them, and they’ll make good on their promise shortly. The Middle East will soon become uninhabitable, especially for Israel and for the Arab countries that serve it. The ground invasion may be cancelled because it isn’t going to matter any longer. I guess Israel couldn’t tank another week of Iranian missile strikes to give the ground invasion time. Oh well, let’s get this over with.
source: https://x.com/apocalypseos/status/2035872887559835680 , https://x.com/WMX_MEDIA/status/2035873344071835702 , https://x.com/BinsaeedRashid/status/2035824085251285104 , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-threatens-region-wide-infrastructure-obliteration-trumps-48-hour-ultimatum-ticks

- The markets are going to puke, obviously. Oil is going to go to $200 once the laws of economics assert themselves. Oil is currently sitting at a mere $112.
source: https://x.com/CryptoNobler/status/2035826861343728035

- There’s no point speculating and talking about what happened on Friday or even today. This move by the Regime means the end of the Middle East. Now the only question is whether the Regime uses nukes on Iran once they retaliate. They have no other cards to play now. We’ve reached the end of the “escalation ladder”. We know what Iran will do, which is make good on their promise of retaliation, and then we will see if Trump actually nukes Iran. Do you want to know the best part of this, though? Iran’s mountain missile cities have been hit by dozens of bunker busters, and they keep shooting missiles. Even nukes can’t destroy a mountain, so even nuking Iran may not be enough. Sure, they can kill the civilian population, but they may not even be able to stop the missile attacks, and then what?

- The bottom line is that it’s happening this week. Nothing left to do but watch the fireworks. Depending on how this week shakes out, we could end up doing any number of things, so stay tuned and I’ll keep you updated as things develop.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 20th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, get a ferro rod to help with firestarting without any fuel. It makes sparks without electricity or fuel. You just need some kindling, and you can make fire. It makes a good backup firestarter solution. The one I’m linking to only costs $10. You can get cheaper ones, but they’re unreliable. Don’t overpay, but don’t necessarily buy the cheapest option either.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0DL4H1KF2

- Gold and silver are crashing. Some people are blaming the Arab Gulf states for selling their gold due to the Iran war to free up cash, but it's actually much more retarded than that. Normies believe the FED is going to jack rates up to 20% because that’s what they did in 1979 to fight stagflation. Long story short, during the stagflation of the 70s, oil and gold skyrocketed, and the FED raised rates to 20% in order to tame inflation, which ended the stagflation after a massive crash. Everyone is running to cash, expecting the FED to crash the market to fight inflation because that’s what they did in the 1970s. This is the ultimate chart-gazing move because it completely ignores the debt, the fact that the Regime can’t allow the market to crash or they lose their empire, etc. Their thought process simply involves looking for patterns and expecting them to repeat, and they’re using 1979 as confirmation that the FED is going to jack rates up, hence the crash in gold/silver and the dash to cash.
source: https://x.com/AlexMasonCrypto/status/2034723127671103902 , https://x.com/michaellebowitz/status/2034685248626098205 , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/new-funding-crisis-emerges-soaring-dollar-demand-slams-gold-drives-cross-currency-basis

- The government is also up to its old tricks and trying to suppress oil prices. Iran said it will stop attacking Arab energy infrastructure, but warned that if “Israel” attacks their energy again, they will wipe everything out. They’ve also warned that Israel is planning to false-flag Arab countries’ infrastructure and blame Iran, so this isn’t over, but the markets seem satisfied, and energy fell, and this has nothing to do with options expiring soon.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/oil-slides-us-supply-prospects-short-end-yields-rise-g10-central-banks-hold-firm-newsquawk

- I’m still watching silver and hoping to buy more. If the normies are so convinced that rates are going to 20%, good, I haven’t been able to take advantage of a free money truck in a while.

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Energy
o 2. Bonds
o 3. Information Technology
o 4. Agriculture Commodities
o 5. Financials
o Everything else was down.

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Gold
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Brent Crude Oil
o 4. Materials
o 5. Broad Commodities
o 6. Bitcoin
o 7. The US Dollar

- The FED jacking rates and intentionally crashing the market is absurd. This isn’t the 70s. The national debt in 1979 was less than $850B. Today it’s nearly $40T. About $8T in debt must be rolled over this year, or 20% of the entire national debt. Do these retards actually believe we’re going to jack up rates to 20% to fight inflation when the government is this broke?

- I talked about markets first instead of geopolitics because nothing really happened today. The Regime is back to ignoring reality and declaring that they won. Netanyahu (who isn’t AI) has declared that Iran’s nuclear program and missile production have been destroyed.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/trump-threatens-blow-worlds-largest-gas-field-distances-us-israeli-actions-macron

- The US is also bypassing Congress to conduct emergency sales of weapons to the Arabs, presumably to go to war with Iran for them, but what weapons? Do these weapons exist, or are they promising to give them weapons down the road? Between Ukraine and Israel, everything is gone. The only thing I think they can do is sell their active inventory to the Arabs so that they can fight their wars for them, thus disarming themselves.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/us-fast-tracks-billions-emergency-arms-sales-gulf-bypassing-congress

- The missiles are still flying, but no new developments other than the Iranians shot down an F35, which is a first. The US is apparently out of stand-off missiles and tried using the F35 to bomb Iran, and it turns out the air defenses are still intact, contrary to what you’ve been told. Who knew? We’re still waiting for the ground invasion by the Marines, which is estimated to take place on the 25th at the earliest. The outcome of that ground invasion will determine the next move by the Regime. The Iranians claim that they are fully prepared and waiting for them, so we’ll see what surprises they have in store.
source: https://www.twz.com/air/usaf-f-35-makes-emergency-landing-after-allegedly-being-hit-by-iranian-fire

- The bottom line is that we’re in a lull at the moment. The big push will be when the ground invasion happens, which will be next week at the earliest. The Regime is doing its best to make the Arabs do the fighting for them, which is ironic since they’re tired of fighting, which is why they surrendered and allowed the Regime to rule over them, and now the Regime is making them fight anyway. Do you see now why freedom is worth dying for? Surrendering to avoid war just means you fight a different war as their conquered slave.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 19th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, consider communications equipment if you’re in a group. If the grid goes down, you’ll lose cell service. Meshtastic is ideal for a large group, but if you’re only worried about your family, some mid-level walkie-talkies with earpieces are sufficient. Why earpieces? So you can be quiet. Without earpieces, you have to have your volume turned up to hear incoming transmissions, and you’ll be easy to track. If you’re using an earpiece, you can communicate without announcing your position, but you can always remove the earpiece if you want. The ones I’m linking to are $10 each. These are not expensive at all, and you can get ones based on toys and cartoons if you have small children in your group. These will allow you to communicate over short to medium distances, but they’ll need to be recharged using a generator if the grid is down. https://www.amazon.com/pxton-Rechargeable-400-470Mhz-Transceiver-Flashlight/dp/B08HK5SXH1

- Let’s return to our regular analysis:

- As explained on the show today, Iran’s gas fields were attacked by Israel, and Iran attacked all the gas fields in the Gulf. The US told Israel not to attack Iran’s energy infrastructure again, hoping to de-escalate since their land invasion won’t be prepared until the 25th. Saudi Arabia threatened to go to war with Iran, and the Houthis entered the chat and said that they have their finger on the trigger and are waiting for orders. It’s worth noting that because the Strait of Hormuz is closed, all traffic has been redirected to the Red Sea, right where the Houthis are set up. My strong prediction is that the Arabs back off and STFU. If they try to attack Iran, they would be decimated. Their militaries are based on the US, made up of hand-me-down aircraft and reliant on airfields and nonexistent air defenses. It would be easy for Iran to cripple Saudi Arabia militarily in a single day by destroying its airfields, and then the Houthis can cripple Saudi Arabia economically and militarily from the South. The Iranians were keeping the Houthis back to keep the Arabs from being forced to join the Regime’s slave army, and probably saved their honor in the process. Hopefully, they’ll use this opportunity to think about their position. We had that Iraqi guy on the show talking about how the Arabs are tired of fighting, but when you surrender to the Regime to avoid fighting, they just force you to fight for them as their slaves.
source: https://x.com/Events_inYemen/status/2034413086883414210 , https://x.com/RT_com/status/2034433078077300901 , https://x.com/DD_Geopolitics/status/2034445508983320894

- So not much has changed. The ground invasion is still coming, and that will decide the next steps. Iran will just continue to bomb everyone while the US fires missiles at mountains uselessly until then. The US and Arabs will back down until then.
source: https://x.com/MyLordBebo/status/2034458082957197520 , https://x.com/MyLordBebo/status/2034459044950184151

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Brent Crude Oil
o 3. Natural Gas
o 4. WTI Crude Oil
o 5. Broad Commodities
o 6. Agriculture Commodities
o 7. The US Dollar

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Gold
o 3. Crypto
o 4. Materials
o 5. Consumer Staples
o 6. Consumer Discretionary
o 7. Healthcare

- So much for bullish stability, huh? Attacking the Iranian energy infrastructure was retarded, and Iran is showing that they’ll hold all the cards and have planned multiple moves. We’re just waiting for the ground invasion to watch this colossal fuck up enter its next phase.
- The markets are predictably fucked. High energy means high inflation, which means no rate cuts, which means recession. The AI bubble also relies on cheap energy and Middle Eastern investment, both of which are gone. It’s fucked.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/economics/greatest-risk-global-economy-stagflation-driven-governments-not-oil

- A ray of hope is that gold and silver are falling because if the FED raises rates to fight energy inflation, that means no money printing, and that’s bullish for the dollar and bearish for metals, but those analysts are stupid. The government has to cut rates because there are trillions of dollars in bonds due this year. It doesn’t matter what energy does. Silver is currently $76 on the futures market, finally breaking below $80. Speculators seem to be pivoting from silver to oil for obvious reasons, and the physical price is heading down (finally). It’s still a little high, but if it continues to go down, I’ll buy more silver.

- The bottom line is that the 25th is the estimated date of the ground invasion, where somewhere between 2,000 and 5,000 marines are going to die for Israel, and then we’ll see what Trump does after that. The only card they’ll have to play after that is to use nukes.

The Morning Constitutional: March 18th, 2026
https://www.mgtow.tv/watch/2026-03-18-08-00-27_3mBUN3jNS2zwA5J.html
/watch/2026-03-18-08-00-27_3mBUN3jNS2zwA5J.html

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 17th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, you can make your own toothpaste with coconut oil and baking soda. It’s super easy, and you should be stocking coconut oil and baking soda anyway because coconut oil has a 5+ year shelf life and a pleasant smell. I use it for candles and soap, as well as conditioning my cast-iron cookware. You can even use it as a lubricant. Coconut oil is awesome, but I’ve talked about coconut oil before. Baking soda is also an important product on its own. It’s used in baking (duh) but is also the main ingredient in Tums because it neutralizes acid. You can use it to put out grease fires and as a deodorizer. I’m sure you have some in your house right now. So the next time you’re low on toothpaste, instead of buying the latest platinum whitening paste with a hologram on the box that costs $10, make some toothpaste yourself for pennies. Here’s the recipe:

o Mix portions of coconut oil and baking soda 1:1 (for a chalky, gritty paste) or 2:1 (for a smoother paste). You can also add 10-20 drops of mint essential oil for flavor if you want, but it’s optional.
o Mix everything and put it in a container or a piping bag. That’s it, you made toothpaste. It’s that simple, two ingredients with optional flavoring. Be aware that this toothpaste does NOT contain any fluoride.

- Let’s return to our regular analysis:

- Trump is trying to get other countries to join him against Iran, and nobody is joining. Iran is telling the Arabs to stop cooperating with America and Israel and to join them as fellow Muslims. There was a report that Saudi Arabia is telling the US to hit Iran harder, but Saudi Arabia is denying it. There was also an EU delegation in Dubai that was killed using a drone that hit a hotel, but why would Iran kill an EU delegation? They don’t benefit from that at all, but America does since they’re trying to get Europe to enter the war, and the US has its own knock-off Iranian drones called LUCAS. The US has also attacked Arab countries to get them to enter the war against Iran as well, but so far, it hasn’t worked, thanks to Russian/Chinese satellites tracking the battlefield. Trump is so desperate that he sounds insane. He is having a nervous breakdown and doesn’t know what to do. This is what happens when a boomer realizes that doubling down endlessly wasn’t the right call after all.

- Regarding the Marine land invasion, the number has gone from 2,500 to 5,000, but now it’s only 2,000. The goal appears to be Kharg Island, which is Iran’s natural gas hub. The idea is that Iran’s economy relies on its energy exports, and seizing (or destroying) Kharg Island will cause the government to collapse or something. This is retarded because Iran has been sanctioned for so many years that they’ve become self-sufficient. Yes, they do export energy, but being sanctioned for so long has forced them to provide for their own needs domestically. They don’t rely on trade. They are self-sufficient, which is ideal for a war, and we’ve ironically made Iran much more resilient due to our years of sanctions against it. Destroying Kharg Island will not end the war, but it will cause Iran to destroy the infrastructure of Israel and the allied Arab states, which absolutely DO rely on trade. Iran is actually more economically resilient than any of its enemies.
source: https://www.navalnews.com/naval-news/2026/03/marine-expeditionary-unit-ordered-to-the-middle-east/

- So nothing has changed. We’re still waiting on the ground invasion, which will happen soon, either this week or next week. Trump has no other option, and he’s not going to take the “L”. The only alternative is to nuke Iran, which would lead to a global nuclear arms race since the US just proved that when they pull their “surrender or die” bullshit and they lose, they nuke you, so you everyone will need nukes to deter aggression from the US and Israel, and that’s assuming nobody does anything about Iran being nuked and Russia and Pakistan were lying for funsies.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/allies-balk-trump-pushes-joint-military-action-reopen-hormuz-iran-says-no-ceasefire-table

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Crypto
o 3. Information Technology
o 4. Consumer Discretionary
o 5. Communications Technology
o 6. Bonds
o 7. S&P 500 Index

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Natural Gas
o 4. Brent Crude Oil
o 5. Broad Commodities
o 6. Agriculture Commodities
o 7. The US Dollar

- Why is the market bullish? The war in Iran isn’t over or even getting better for the US in any measurable way, but you’ve forgotten, dear reader, that normies have a goldfish memory, and if the market crashes but the world doesn’t end, the normies will pour back into the market. The Iran War and the closing of the Strait of Hormuz don’t seem to be escalating, and if it’s not escalating, it’s stable, and if it’s stable, that’s bullish.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/oil-dumps-stocks-jump-strait-opens-ish-bitcoin-gold-down-again

- Escalation is up to Trump. Iran is winning and just has to outlast the Regime, thus the markets are perceiving the lack of escalation as stability. The ground invasion is the next shoe to drop. If Kharg Island is destroyed, Iran will retaliate, and you’ll see the market puke again. Trump won’t take the “L” so expect something stupid to happen in the next week or so.

- The bottom line is that nothing has changed. Iran will maintain the status quo until they bleed the Regime dry, so we’re just waiting to see how this Marine invasion goes. Even if the Marines take the island and cut off Iran’s gas exports, nothing will change. Iran is too economically resilient after years of sanctions to be bankrupted by one commodity export. A lot of marines are going to die for nothing, but at least things are happening, I suppose.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 16th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, consider a gravity water filter. I went over how to make one using 5-gallon buckets and various media like gravel and charcoal, but if you want something simple and ready to go, here is a stainless steel system for about $100 (25% off), which processes over 2 gallons at a time. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CCKXXRJC

- Let’s return to our normal analysis:

- Trump is claiming that anything showing Iran is winning is AI-generated and fake news, and that if the media doesn’t censor it, the government is going to pull their license. That’s how badly things are going.
source: https://x.com/DD_Geopolitics/status/2033333079008579769

- The American bases in Iraq are being destroyed. I don’t know what the casualties are, but if the US loses the airbases in Iraq, they won’t be able to conduct air-refueling over Iraqi airspace, and will no longer be able to bomb Iran outside of long-range missiles, which they’re running out of.
source: https://x.com/DD_Geopolitics/status/2033358701319585919

- No updates regarding the ground invasion at this time. I’m also getting conflicting reports on whether or not the number of Marines being sent in will be 2,500 or 5,000.
- Trump is threatening NATO that if Europe doesn’t send its navies to help fight Iran, there will be a “very bad future”. This just gets better and better.
source: https://www.ft.com/content/1ca6d121-760b-4ec5-b6ad-514fdaa94873 , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/risking-energy-assets-across-region-trump-crosses-iran-red-line-bombing-kharg-island

- Meanwhile, in the markets, oil and metals are falling because the war is over, Iran has been destroyed, and the Strait of Hormuz is open! None of that is true, but the media is saying it, so it must be true. I told you at the beginning that it could take months before the true extent of the failure is admitted, similar to the failed Ukrainian counteroffensive in 2023. This ground invasion with the Marines is pretty much their last chance to turn this around. If the Marines are slaughtered, it's likely over, but the propaganda and censorship will be turned up to 11 if only to buy time.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/oil-lpg-tankers-cross-hormuz-strait-hinting-back-channel-coordination

- I’m also seeing more and more people shilling for Israel and saying that they need to support Israel. Today, I even saw someone on X that I’ve never interacted with before, claiming that I’ve betrayed everything I stood for, and I’m harming MGTOW because I am not standing with Israel. I’ve never seen this motherfucker in my life, and I’ve been pro-BRICS for years, but now I’m hurting MGTOW itself because I don’t support Israel? Why are all these Israel shills showing up everywhere? Against me, a fucking nobody who reviews sex dolls? Shit’s crazy out there.

- The bottom line is that everything is working out as I expected, with Iran exceeding my expectations. Regarding Cuba, there is nothing confirmed, just Trump saying that Cuba wants to make a deal, but he’s been lying his ass off about Iran begging ot make a deal, so take Trump with a massive grain of salt. We’ll see how the ground invasion goes and see what happens next.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 13th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I assume we’ve all got the basics covered at this point, so let’s go beyond the basics and consider some specialized gear. Night vision binoculars allow you to see in the dark, and if people want to do you harm, especially if they know you have supplies, they’ll attack at night, using the lack of power and the cloak of darkness to get the drop on you. Even with some basic perimeter alarms and defenses, you can’t shoot what you can’t see, which is where a pair of night vision binoculars comes in. You can even get a night vision gun scope to keep your hands free, and pay even more to upgrade from night vision to thermal vision and see like the Predator. I don’t own a rifle (only a shotgun), so I can’t recommend anything fancy, but do your own research and make sure you have some kind of night (or thermal) vision for your gun so that you’re not completely blind in a grid-down scenario once the sun sets. The unit I’m linking to is untested, so don’t just buy it on my recommendation. This is a pretty expensive piece of gear, so do your own research and get a unit that makes sense for your needs: https://www.amazon.com/Goggles%EF%BC%8CQpingan-Infrared-Tactical-Binoculars-Essentials/dp/B0F4NP4Z3S

- Let’s return to our normal analysis:

- Russian intelligence has confirmed that the attacks on Oman did not come from Iran, nor did they come from Israel. It was the US, specifically the USS Lincoln, which launched cruise missiles at Oman to get them to enter the war against Iran. The USS Lincoln has subsequently been attacked by Iranian drones and suffered a mysterious, unrelated fire, and is leaving the theater for repairs. It’s good news that Russian (and presumably Chinese) satellites are monitoring and preventing any Jewish tricks.
source: https://x.com/cirnosad/status/2032285891046359334

- There is still a lot of misinformation and propaganda out there, and a lot of accounts are being censored on X, making it even worse to know what’s going on. The new Supreme Leader of Iran may be dead because his first statement since taking power was a written statement with no video. Netanyahu may be dead because his video address today appears to have AI artifacts with too many fingers in several frames. Is it true? Is it bullshit? We’ll just have to wait and see because I can’t fucking tell who is lying anymore.

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Brent Crude Oil
o 4. Broad Commodities
o 5. Natural Gas
o 6. Energy
o 7. Utilities

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Crypto
o 2. Industrials
o 3. Consumer Discretionary
o 4. Gold
o 5. Healthcare
o 6. Information Technology
o 7. Communications Technology

- No new statements about the war being over today. Trump actually looks like he’s walking back statements and blaming other people to avoid admitting he fucked up, which is not a good sign if you’re rooting for the Regime.

- The markets stopped “buying the dip” today. The next step is a ground invasion of Iran, which will be coming next week or so. Trump was probably hoping to lie his ass off to close the gap, but couldn’t. Iran is in control, and the only chance the US has is to invade Iran with ground troops by parachuting them into Tehran, since they have no safe country to stage a ground invasion from. The ground invasion will decide and end the war one way or another. If the ground invasion succeeds, then the Regime wins. If the ground invasion fails, the Regime falls. It could happen as soon as next week. The oil clock is ticking down.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/iran-war-broke-buy-dip-retail-investors-show-persistent-signs-weakness , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-were-pressured-higher-oil-prices-brent-crude-back-above-usd-100bbl-iran-digs

- The entire AI bubble is built on the premise of cheap energy. An energy crisis smashes everything. Private capital is already crashing. Tech companies will be next because the whole AI circle jerk was funded with private capital. Iran has the Regime by the balls, and they’re squeezing.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/us-stocks-were-pressured-higher-oil-prices-brent-crude-back-above-usd-100bbl-iran-digs

- The bottom line is that I expect things to more or less carry on as they are until the ground invasion. There may be a false flag to gain support for it ahead of time, but it could easily backfire if Russia/China provides intelligence that it was the US or Israel behind it. This is something the Regime isn’t used to dealing with. They’re used to having complete narrative control, but if Russia/China have receipts, a false flag could backfire horribly, but I expect a ground invasion to be announced next week, regardless. That ground invasion will very likely go sideways, and the Regime will die. However, we can’t predict the outcomes before they happen, so continue to prepare, and we’ll see what happens together.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 12th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, you need to start stocking up on emergency supplies right now. Buy extra toilet paper, hand sanitizer, medicine, etc. Go through and see what you’re low on and pick up some extra the next time you go to the store. We’re not talking about insurance for a someday emergency; we’re going to have shortages in the very near future, but the TV is keeping people calm, so nobody is panicking, which is a good thing. Take advantage of this calm before the storm and stock up now. Load up.

- Now let’s return to our regular analysis:

- Today, Trump declared victory in Iran and declared the Strait of Hormuz open, and then Iran blew up two oil tankers and also attacked an Indian weapons factory that was building drones for Israel. I think India is going to get kicked out of BRICS, and Iran is going to be the new “I”.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/hegseth-warns-most-intense-day-operation-epic-fury-iea-plans-largest-ever-spr-dump , https://x.com/rkmtimes/status/2031921881167671576

- So the war is definitely not over, but Trump did announce that we will begin releasing the last of the SPR oil to keep prices stable for the next 4-6 weeks, then it’s gone. There will be a window to launch a ground invasion of Iran within that window to win the war before the SPR runs out, so I believe that will be the play.
source: https://x.com/FinanceLancelot/status/2031919438186856620 , https://www.cnbc.com/2026/03/11/iran-war-trump-oil-strategic-petroleum-reserve.html

- Lastly, there is a false flag warning regarding Iranian drones in California, which doesn’t even make sense. I could buy China attacking California with drones, but not Iran. Iran is closer to the East Coast than the West Coast, and terrorism isn’t its style. They only go after military targets. Just stay safe out there, everyone.
source: https://abcnews.com/US/fbi-warns-iran-aspired-attack-california-drones-retaliation/story?id=130973820

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Natural Gas
o 2. Energy
o 3. WTI Crude Oil
o 4. Brent Crude Oil
o 5. Broad Commodities
o 6. Bitcoin
o 7. Crypto

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Bonds
o 3. Consumer Staples
o 4. Real Estate
o 5. Financials
o 6. Utilities
o 7. Gold

- Announcing the SPR release actually made the markets fall because the markets are realizing that Trump is lying about the war being over, and this is going to go on for weeks at best.

- There’s nothing else to talk about in the markets. The energy crisis directly affects the AI bubble because these data centers don’t run on happy thoughts, so the Iran War is very likely to be the trigger for the biggest economic crash in any of our lifetimes. Strap in.

- The bottom line is that you need to make sure you’re stocked as much as possible. The US and Israel started another war, and it’s not going well at all. It’s probably going to get worse before it gets worse. Stay safe out there.

The Morning Constitutional: March 11th, 2026
https://www.mgtow.tv/watch/2026-03-11-08-00-13_Hb5ChYQnGN4Pzbl.html
/watch/2026-03-11-08-00-13_Hb5ChYQnGN4Pzbl.html

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 10th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, consider reinforcing your front door so that it can’t be kicked open or broken into with basic hand tools like a hammer or axe. Make them blow their way in if they want to break into your house. This won’t just protect your house from crack heads and criminals, but if hockey mask time occurs, and you’re being served a no-knock warrant at midnight, having a reinforced door could be the difference between giving yourself a fighting chance or getting shot to death in your bed with your dick in your hands. It’s not illegal to reinforce your door, and it only costs about $100 in materials. However, if you’re a renter, make sure you have your landlord’s permission, and check the HOA rules ahead of time. Here is a link: https://www.amazon.com/Door-Armor-MAX-Complete-Reinforcement/dp/B00E9ZGWH2

- So what was the big thing that happened today? Trump did announce that the war was ending, causing oil prices to plunge from $120 to $80 in a single day, and everyone began celebrating, but the funny thing is that nothing happened. Trump’s big plan isn’t to drop nukes, but to just gaslight everyone and tell them the war is over while the war is very much ongoing and Iran is winning. I guess his plan “worked” in the sense that the markets reversed, but people are going to find out very quickly that the war isn’t over when the Strait of Hormuz remains closed, and bombs continue to fall on Israel. Is his plan really just to lie and rely on his alpha male frame bullshit? Apparently so.
source: https://x.com/DD_Geopolitics/status/2031137548970692717 , https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/iran-says-no-room-talks-us-seeks-partition-country-take-oil-new-hardline-ayatollah

- Meanwhile, I’m getting reports that US personnel are abandoning the Middle East and flying home en masse, which means the US is abandoning the Middle East. I’m also seeing reports that Iran is offering to let other Middle Eastern countries use the Strait of Hormuz if they kick out all the US and Israeli diplomatic personnel and essentially stop doing business with them altogether. Trump has said that the US is going to use its navy to seize the Strait of Hormuz, and the French are sending a small fleet as well to force the re-opening of the Strait because the US believes that Iran can’t sink a warship. Iran has been telling people that they are saving their “good shit” for the appropriate time, and have made good on that promise lately. They weren’t bluffing and coping, but … we’ll see, I guess.

- Also, they’re talking about lifting oil sanctions on Russia because with the Middle East shut down, Europe is fucked, but Putin is twisting the knife and saying that he may not sell oil to Europe because he has new friends that appreciate him.
source: https://x.com/RT_com/status/2031131958965657904

- So it’ll be interesting to see how long Trump's lying to people’s faces is going to work to keep oil prices low, probably not long, and once the market realizes that Trump is talking shit, the government will lose that tool permanently, as all trust will have been lost.

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Crypto
o 2. Information Technology
o 3. Bonds
o 4. Bitcoin
o 5. Healthcare
o 6. S&P 500 Index
o 7. Industrials

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Brent Crude Oil
o 4. Broad Commodities
o 5. Agriculture Commodities
o 6. Financials
o 7. Energy

- Do you see now why I just stay in cash in times like these? Who wants the stress of trying to guess the next move in this rigged casino based on fraud and bullshit? Everything that caused the market to move today was based on lies, so does that mean that the market will reverse, or that the normies will believe the same lies tomorrow? Who can say?

- So the bottom line is that I’m genuinely curious what Trump’s next move is. Iran isn’t going to agree to a ceasefire, and he’s checkmated and can’t win, and just lying isn’t going to work very long, so now what? We’re truly in uncharted waters.

MMM March 9th, 2026 Audio
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Monkey’s Market Minute: March 9th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- I hope you’ve found these prep segments useful and taken action on some things because shit is about to get really bad. If you haven’t already, make sure you have the following durable dry goods: rice, beans, dehydrated milk, salt, oats, and honey. These all last decades if stored correctly, and can be combined into all kinds of dishes. These are your staples in any emergency. They can be portioned in mylar bags and stored in 5-gallon buckets for a fraction of the cost of those fancy emergency food containers. Here is a video:

- Let’s return to the Great Happening, already in progress:

- Everything is so fucked, it’s hilarious. Supposedly, something big is going to happen in the next 24 hours. The ground invasion is likely cancelled because they can’t survive another week of Israel getting their shit rocked to organize it, and they don’t have the ground forces right now anyway. A lot of analysts are saying that Israel is going to nuke Iran, and that’s very likely, but other analysts are saying that Trump is going to try and stage some kayfabe bullshit and declare victory, similarly to how he declared victory during the 12 Day War last year. The idea is that Trump is either going to launch more special forces into or drop a MOAB onto an Iranian nuclear facility and claim that they destroyed Iran’s nuclear material, and then declare victory and beat a hasty retreat, and hope that Iran opens up the Strait of Hormuz. The Iranian President did intimate that he’s open to de-escalation, but only lasting peace, not a “ceasefire” that Israel will violate in a few months. So one of two things will happen in the next 24 hours:

o Trump launches a fake and gay attack on some sit in Iran, claims they neutralized the nuclear material, declares victory, and tries to memory hole the humiliating defeat.

o Israel nukes Iran, and WW3 happens.
source: https://x.com/FinanceLancelot/status/2030799983604330734 , https://x.com/IntelTweet/status/2030693059470520725

- Many are predicting that Trump needs to declare “victory” and end the war because the oil markets are spiking. All attempts to manipulate the futures market have failed, and oil is over $100, heading higher.
source: https://x.com/UnityNewsNet/status/2030717380704248219

- So this will be an unambiguous Iranian victory. In fact, the puppet King of Bahrain has been overthrown by the people, meaning the US has just permanently lost CENTCOM. Saudi Arabia is also in talks with Iran, and you will see the Arab world switch sides very quickly. The US is finished in the Middle East, and Israel is fucked. I hear Argentina is beautiful this time of year, though.

- The question is, will Iran agree to the kayfabe? I believe they will if the US is forced out of the region. Israel will then be given time to leave the region as well. If the Jews try any bullshit, Israel will be flattened.

- The other wars against BRICS will quickly and quietly wrap up. South Korea will make peace with North Korea. Taiwan will make peace with China. Japan will quietly drop all plans to remilitarize. Ukraine will agree to Russia’s demands. This is how the Regime dies, not with a bang, but a sad whimper. Meanwhile, China did nothing and won. Sun Tzu would be pleased.

- The next phase is going to depend on Iran. If Iran reopens the Strait of Hormuz and the oil flows again, that will prevent an energy crisis, and the AI bubble can limp along, but what’s the point any longer? The entire reason to prop up the market and keep the wars going was to benefit Israel, and they just lost. The empire is over. You get nothing. You lose. Good day, sir. When will the market crash? I don’t know. The government still has a few tools in its toolbelt to buy some time, but as the world dumps dollars and switches to BRICS, the laws of economics will win as they always do.

- If the government keeps manipulating, I will stay in cash. If the government FINALLY, at long last, lets the market work and uses the Iran War as a justification to let the crash happen, then we slide into financial stocks and real estate AFTER THE CRASH. DO NOT BUY STOCKS NOW AND TRY TO FRONT RUN THE CRASH. WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE CRASH AND THEN BUY FINANCIAL STOCKS AND REAL-ESTATE. I swear to God, if you buy financial stock now and blame me, I’m going to be so pissed at you. For $5 a month, you guys don’t pay me enough to tolerate shit like that.

- The next week is going to be nuts. The world as we know it will change. The Regime is done. Now we need to see if they try to squeeze harder to hold onto power, or flee like rats from a sinking ship. We can do this the easy way or the fun way.

- There are too many moving parts and ways this could go to form a working thesis right now. We’ll just have to see how the next 24 hours play out, and I’ll call things as they happen.

- We’re not out of the woods. Years of economic mismanagement and financial manipulaion is going to have tobe unwound and the bill paid, so we’re still going to have a horrible stagflationary depression, but perhaps not hyperinflation and civil war. People stop digging the hole deeper now that Israel is fucked. We’ll see.

- The bottom line is that the war will wrap up soon, and the Regime lost. It’s over-over now. Israel probably won’t launch its nukes because they aren’t facing genocide (whether or not they deserve to is another matter), and will be allowed to leave peacefully to South America, or maybe Ukraine. I heard they are nearly depopulated at this point, so maybe if the wars wrap up quickly, the Jews can go to Ukraine and try again in another 2,000 years. We’ll have to watch the markets and see what the government does. Hopefully, they let the manipulation unwind and stop digging the hole deeper, but I’ll be surprised if they don’t double down and cause hyperinflation.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 6th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, make sure you have a manual can opener. They cost a few bucks, so maybe get 2, but if you are reliant on an electric can opener and the power goes out, your electric can opener becomes a paperweight. In fact, you should make sure you have manual cooking tools that don’t rely on batteries or electronics, including thermometers and scales. Being able to do things manually without electricity or batteries means you can do those things when they matter most. If you’re used to using hand blenders, they have a semi-auto whisk that spins by pushing down on the whisk with mechanical force. Consider picking up tools like these. https://www.amazon.com/Digead-Stainless-Versatile-Blending-Whisking/dp/B088TH4QDV

- Let’s return to our normal analysis:

- The US and Israel appear to be out of air defense missiles. Videos show missiles hitting Tel Aviv with nothing being launched to intercept them. Since the air defenses are depleted, Iran has launched a brand new missile that splits into 80 missiles in the air and rains death. There is a video of the rocket splitting in the air, but no video of the damage because of heavy Israeli censorship of damage on the ground. The US is staging its ground invasion from Iraq, and I expected Iran to bomb the shit out of them, but they’re not. The Foreign Minister said that they’re awaiting them, which means they have something special planned for them.

- The Regime has convinced Azerbaijan to join with the Kurds and Americans to invade Iran. Azerbaijan was being a little asshole against Russia and trying to cozy up to NATO anyway, so Iran dealing with them is doing Russia a favor.
source: https://carnegieendowment.org/russia-eurasia/politika/2025/07/azerbaijan-russia-arguments , https://eadaily.com/en/news/2026/03/05/azerbaijani-army-will-invade-iran-if-it-starts-losing-mardan

- So that’s the next shoe to drop. We’re waiting to see how the big ground invasion goes for the Regime. They are supposed to be sending in 50,000 troops along with whatever troops Azerbaijan and the Kurds provide. To put everything in perspective, the force that invaded Iraq in 2003 was 175,000. Iran also has about twice the population that Iraq has, and about 3X the landmass of Iraq. Also, Iran has the direct military support of Russia and China, which Iraq didn’t have, and even if they did, Russia and China are vastly more advanced than they would have been in 2003. It’s also worth repeating that the US does NOT have total air supremacy in Iran, which they had in Iraq. Finally, if those 50,000 troops are killed, that’s it. There won’t be a second chance. Pulling this shit during an election year practically gift-wrapped Trump’s impeachment, not that the Democrats aren’t pro-Israel, but Trump will be taking the fall for this failed war.

- In the markets, all you have to know is that we have 3 days before commodities explode. They were supposed to have the Strait of Hormuz open in 4 days. They said that the Iranian navy was destroyed and that America had absolute air supremacy, and the markets believed them. Now that it’s clear they were lying, the countdown has begun.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/jpmorgans-new-hormuz-closure-math-just-3-days-until-total-commodity-chaos

- Also, the US government is openly admitting that it’s going to engage in commodities futures manipulation to keep prices down. All you motherfuckers who said I was coping because I lost money on natural gas can lick my fucking butthole.
source: https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/us-weighs-oil-futures-market-action-combat-rising-energy-prices-wh-official-2026-03-05/

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Brent Crude Oil
o 4. Natural Gas
o 5. Broad Commodities
o 6. Agriculture Commodities
o 7. Energy

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Industrials
o 3. Materials
o 4. Consumer Staples
o 5. Healthcare
o 6. Crypto
o 7. Gold

- Gold shouldn’t be going down, but whatever. The markets still don’t know what to believe. They typically follow the government and never bet against the government, but the government is clearly lying, so what do you do?
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-slammed-below-key-support-oil-yields-soar

- The bottom line is that this will all get hashed out on the battlefield. The government can lie and manipulate oil prices for a while, but when Iran destroys their army, the world will see it, and nothing else will matter. An empire can paper over inflation and even lie to people’s face, but losing a war is unforgivable. Then the only question will be whether the US launches nukes out of spite or not. We’ll see.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 5th, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I have something unusual that I want you to consider: the next time you go to the store, instead of buying frozen foods, buy the canned equivalents and see how you like them. If you don’t like them, try preparing them in different ways to see if you can make them work. Not only are canned foods more shelf stable, but they’re often cheaper because they can be shipped without being frozen, so they can be imported from cheaper markets. IF you don’t like pickled foods because they’re too acidic, prepare them with sugar and salt. The importance of this is not only to save money and encourage you to stock up on canned goods, but also to remind you that you should stock the food you actually eat, and actually eat the food you stock, otherwise you’re just taking up space with “prepper food” that will rot on your shelf and never get used.

- Let’s now return to our regular analysis:

- Two major incidents happened today involving Iran. Firstly, there was an Iranian ceremonial ship that was attending exercises with India when the war broke out. This lone Iranian ship was unarmed and staffed with ceremonial personnel and was India’s guest. The US used a submarine and blew up the ship, and when the crew was calling for help, the Indians did nothing. The nearby Sri Lankan navy saved about 40% of the crew; the rest perished. Secondly, the US was using the Kurdish invasion from the West as a distraction to send US special forces via parachute into Iran to seize a nuclear facility. The special forces were ambushed and either all killed or perhaps some were captured. There is a strict media blackout on the incident.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/military/world-war-iranian-warship-reportedly-sunk-sri-lanka-submarine-attack , https://merovingian.club/web/@Terry@poa.st/116175117619382812

- The US is completely out of air defenses. Israel is also burning through air defenses quickly. They carpet-bombed Tehran, so Iran sent hypersonic cluster missiles into Tel Aviv.

- We’re still waiting on the Kurds to throw themselves at Iran. The Arabs have also threatened to join the fight, but Iran and the Houthis said that if they did, all of their oil infrastructure would be targeted. Did I mention the US is out of air defenses? There is nothing the US can do to protect the oil from Iran, so my hunch is the Arabs shake their fist in the air and do nothing.

- In the markets, the government is stabilizing not only the US market but also the global markets, too. Everything is fine. In fact, the US has already announced that Iran is totally defeated and the Strait of Hormuz will be open. That’s not true, but the normies are buying it for now, so it worked, but for how long? Eventually, the US is actually going to have to defeat Iran instead of just claiming to while Israel eats missiles with no air defenses. Goldman Sachs expects the Strait of Hormuz to be opened in 5 days. Tick Tock.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/political/watch-bessent-teases-series-announcements-stabilize-oil-says-trumps-15-tariff-will-kick , https://www.zerohedge.com/commodities/crude-stocks-rise-35-million-highest-may-2025 , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-software-soar-oil-snores-traders-forget-about-war , https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/goldman-expects-strait-hormuz-flows-restart-after-5-days-fully-normalize-4-weeks

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. Bitcoin
o 2. Crypto
o 3. Consumer Discretionary
o 4. WTI Crude Oil
o 5. Information Technology
o 6. Communications Technology
o 7. Gold

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. Natural Gas
o 3. Consumer Staples
o 4. Bonds
o 5. The US Dollar
o Everything else was up.

- Of all the fake and gay markets I’ve witnessed, this is by far the fakest and the gayest market. This is basically the opposite of COVID. Instead of propaganda to scare everyone over a sore throat, they’re using propaganda to tell everyone we’re winning and Iran has been defeated. How many more days of this before people start to question the narrative? It could be a long time if COVID is the baseline.

- So the bottom line is that it’s day 5. When the US invaded Iraq in 2003, the Iraqi military was quickly defeated, and the capital was taken in 6 days. Israel lasted 12 days last year against Iran. Let’s see what tomorrow brings.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 3rd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I’m going to strongly recommend the Stanley FatMax 1200 Amp Jump Starter, 120 PSI Air Compressor, USB Power Bank, and Lamp. I personally own this (although it's an older model), and it’s paid for itself many times over. It’s less than $100 and allows you to instantly jump your car yourself in an emergency and refill a flat tire, but since it also has USB outlets and a lamp, it’s also an effective emergency power bank. If you have a Sam’s Club membership, I strongly recommend this unit for your car. https://www.samsclub.com/ip/STANLEY-FATMAX-1200-Amp-Jump-Starter-120-PSI-Air-Compressor-USB-Power/15188023565 However, if you don’t have a Sam’s Club membership, I have a similar unit to recommend that has more features, but costs a little more ($150 versus $100). This unite have AC power, not just USB power ad a built-in solar panel so that you can leave this in your car where the sun will hit it and keep it topped off indefinitely. If you get the Stanley from Sam’s Club, you do have to bring it inside to recharge it every couple of months because the battery will slowly drain, but if you have the one with the built-in solar panel, you won’t have to worry about it. The unit I’m recommending is currently 20%off, normally $200, but on sale for $160. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B872ZR99/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_1?smid=A11FPJAW36YQTD I still think the Stanley is the better deal if you have a Sam’s Club membership, though.

- Let’s return to our financial and geopolitical analysis:

- Day 3 of the Iran War, and it’s going much worse than I anticipated. I knew Iran would win because they won the 12-day war last year and are much stronger now with the direct help of Russia and China (whom Iran originally didn’t accept help from, believing they would repair relations with America, underestimating Israel’s influence). However, even I am shocked at just how badly the Regime is getting its ass kicked. The few unknown variables have fallen into place, and all of it is bad for the Regime, fatally so:

o The new Ayotollah of Iran, whom I knew nothing about and was waiting to see if he was a hawk or a dove, is apparently very hawkish, and has been a voice advocating for nuclear weapons, believing that the fatwa against them was wrong and that only Israel’s destruction would bring peace. Well, Israel killed the Ayatollah, who was against nukes, and his successor wants to wipe out Israel with nukes, so three guesses how this is going to go. In his first public statement, he declared that the time for negotiations was over, that Israel uses their nukes like a scarecrow, that they have no idea what Iran is going to unleash, and that every crime, every suffering Israel has inflicted will be returned. There were rumors that Israel killed him shortly after being made the new leader, but those were fake. https://x.com/sahelbrut3/status/2028590136644993466

o In fact, the regime has had no real success in Iran at all aside from the initial strike and the sinking of their navy, which the Iranians never bothered to defend. The Iranian navy is a regional navy and had no chance against the US Navy, so they just abandoned the ships at port to their fate to spare the lives of the crews. Aside from those victories, the Regime has been totally ineffective against Iran. Iran’s missile facilities are all deep underground and in the mountains and totally protected from air strikes, as the US should have remembered from when they tried to defeat the Houthis with airstrikes.

o The Shia Muslims have finally begun rioting and risen to overthrow their government … in Bahrain. US and Arab forces are currently trying to put down rioters in Bahrain, trying to overthrow the government and drive the US out of their country. Iran also destroyed the US embassy in Saudi Arabia, as well as destroyed the US bases (and the hotels that the US personnel were hiding in). The Arabs are pissed because the US abandoned them to defend Israel, and the Regime’s air defenses are totally worthless. The only Arab country that Iran hasn’t attacked is Oman, which is not home to any US bases and acted as a mediator with Iran and the US before the war. https://x.com/Partisangirl/status/2028647253460807892

o The Regime is already beginning to run out of air defense missiles. Israel lasted almost 2 weeks last year against Iran, but now the Regime is running out of air defense missiles after 3 days. Also, the Iranian missiles are now equipped with upgrades thanks to Russia and China, and the air defenses aren’t even working anyway.

o Supposedly, Israel has a new “laser dome” that can shoot down missiles instantly using lasers, and there is a video of them instantly shooting down Hezbollah rockets from Lebanon, but if you have a laser gun that can instantly shoot down rockets from Lebanon, why can’t it shoot down the Iranian drones and missiles? Did you only put this amazing laser gun weapon on the Lebanese border and forget to defend your main cities, or is the whole “laser dome” AI-generated horse shit?

o The US is considering removing missile defenses from Asia (South Korea, Japan, etc.) to protect its REAL greatest ally, Israel. It’s the “China: do nothing, win” meme. The US has already said it isn’t sending any stock to the Arabs, who have complained that they’ve exhausted several years of production in the last few days.
source: https://x.com/Megatron_ron/status/2028670620922257520

o I’ve seen questionable reports of possible nuclear testing, and with the blood moon happening, there is a lot of speculation that a nuclear weapon will be used in Iran. If that happens, it’s WW3, and it’s not going to be particularly long. With the US using negotiations to launch attacks twice in a row, there’s simply nothing to discuss. Either Russia and China nuke Israel and/or the US, or they’ll be nuked themselves. This is the corner that Israel has painted the Regime into. There will be no winners.

- That’s about it for now. Like I’ve said, take a lot of this with a grain of salt because it’s based on social media. I try to follow reliable sources and look for confirmation, but I’ve been fooled before, so if any of the above isn’t accurate, I apologize.

- The markets are a total joke. Everything was positive, and the Israeli stock market made a new all-time high as the missiles were falling. You can’t make this shit up. Meanwhile, gas prices in Europe are up 50% in a day, but not in America; nope, everything is fine. My hunch is that the insiders were caught with their pants down and need time to sell their bags to the normies, but there is no way to prop this shit up long term. They are likely only buying themselves a few days for the elites to make off with their ill-gotten gains.

- The winners in the market today were:
o 1. The VIX
o 2. WTI Crude Oil
o 3. Bitcoin
o 4. Natural Gas
o 5. Energy
o 6. Crypto
o 7. Gold

- The losers in the market today were:
o 1. Consumer Staples
o 2. Bonds
o 3. Consumer Discretionary
o 4. Healthcare
o 5. Utilities
o 6. Materals
o 7. Agriculture Commodities

- You’d be forgiven for being confused by the market today, but that confusion is quickly alleviated once you realize how fake and gay the market is.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/stocks-were-choppy-and-energy-prices-surged-amid-iran-conflict-newsquawk-asia-pac-market

- The bottom line is that day 3 has been another W for Iran, but the blood moon is today, and maybe nukes get used. Who knows? Maybe some crazy antichrist shit happens today! We’ll just have to wait and see together. So far, the fact that the Regime is doing so badly so quickly compared to the 12-day war last year is shocking even for me. It appears Trump really didn’t have a plan and just trusted his Jewish advisors unquestioningly. What a dumbass.

Monkey’s Market Minute: March 2nd, 2026

Disclaimer: Never take investment advice from strangers on the internet, especially monkeys. Learn how to manage your own money or seek out a professional who can give you personalized financial services. This newsletter is just my thoughts and opinions, and if you copy me and lose the money, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

- In today’s prep segment, I’m just going to recommend cast-iron cookware and point out that you can season your cast-iron with coconut oil. You can use any oil, including lard or bacon grease, if you want, but the professional cast iron conditioner you buy in the store (and costs $15) is essentially just coconut oil, which you can just buy in bulk. I use coconut oil in my candles and soap; it’s really a wonderful material, and it has the longest shelf life of any cooking oil (5+ years). Just remember to get virgin coconut oil.

- Let’s return to our financial and geopolitical analysis:

- You’ll have to forgive me when it comes to the Iran War. I have been paying attention to social media off and on, but I didn’t copy/past the exact links because a lot of it is based on social media, and I don’t feel like tracking down those individual posts again, so you’ll just have to “trust me, bro” about some of these, but I’ll post sources when I can:

o Iran shut down the internet again due to the Regime hacking a prayer app in Iran to track targets. There is also a brand-new drone based on Iran’s own drone technology called LUCAS, which the Regime is using, which is equipped with Starlink, so it can’t be jammed, but turning off the internet allows Iran to track Starlink more easily, as they proved in January.

o The Regime is claiming that they have air supremacy and they are bombing Iran into submission, and that all the leaders have been killed, but also that Iran is begging to resume talks and end the war. There is no proof for any of this.

o Iran is attacking ships, but not the warships; they’re targeting the supply ships that rearm the warships. This, in combination with their attacks on US bases throughout the region, indicates that Iran plans to cut off the Regime’s ability to rearm locally, which means they’ll have to withdraw once they exhaust their current inventory of missiles.
o There are already concerns that the Regime is running out of air defense missiles, and it’s only been 2 days. The Regime is still bragging about killing the Ayolottah and hasn’t mentioned any breakthroughs, which is telling.

o Israel is getting their shit rocked much worse than during the 12 Day war last year, which Iran won if you’ll recall. Let’s see what Day 3 brings tomorrow.

o There are a LOT of questionable claims that are unverified, so things could be going better or worse depending on how things pan out.
- Source: https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/israel-suffers-significant-casualties-iran-war-retaliation

- Regarding the markets, they opened, and as expected, gold and oil spiked and then quickly sold off. I guess nothing is happening that could affect oil or gold prices. The Straight of Hormuz is closed, but I guess that doesn’t matter. The casino is as rigged as ever, just in case you thought otherwise.
source: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/futures-slide-oil-and-gold-jump-no-panic , https://x.com/KobeissiLetter/status/2028281926398648587

- So that’s about it. The Regime’s answer to the Iran War and the oil prices is to just manipulate the price down and hope for the best. There is no obvious plan, but the boomers won’t take the “L” so I expect Trump to escalate somehow. How? I don’t know, but they’re not going to admit defeat, so they’ll do something stupid.